Some fan fiction stories, so so bad I’m not even going to fix that.
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It’s like english isn’t his first language or something…and wtf WAS that, anyway? An sf reboot fanfic?
I call my dog ‘son’, cuz that’s my boy
Real talk. Cats are like gerbils, hamsters, rabbits, fish, etc. They are just pets.
Dogs aren’t pets, they are family.
That’s not getting the names wrong, that’s just how they are over here, then English language breaks it’s own rules pretty often and this is just an example of it, like how some words don’t always put the i before the e when they are together and we have shit like silent letters floating around all over the place.
To use a well known figure David Beckham was never Da-vid Beckham but was always Day-vid Beckham, this wasn’t a mistake, guy isn’t all “Get my bloody name right you assholes”, it’s how the name is intentionally.
Or like how tomato is tom-are-toe.
Why do you guys go into a lobby on Call of Duty and ask if anyone is a NIGGER?
N E 1 N HUR A NEEEGUR!!!
because white people make sure no one around is black before saying the N word 100 times a minute.
All animals - cat, dog, gerbil, monkey, horse - are living conscious beings, except for Caucasians. Caucasians are inter-dimensional monsters who disguise them selves as humans in order to distort global peace.
We are Afraid of spiders! Oh gawd, White people live in fear of spiders.
Find yourself in a dark ally being pursued by some crazy bitch, all you have to do is throw a spider on him and he’ll run away screaming.
any sane human is afraid of spiders.
http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/sideshow/doctors-remove-spider-hiding-woman-ear-canal-195029859.html
sleep well my crackas
True…except the little furry jumping ones.
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Those dudes are awesome, and they’re so smart. When they see you, they don’t run. They get curious, and will look at the body part closest to them, then keep looking up until they’re looking at your face. Then they sit there and hope first contact is peaceful. I like them because I know they won’t bite. They box. They will stand up and strike with their longest legs, or do a quick triangle jump off of the offending spider to knock it off it’s perch. Good rule of spiders: If it sits in a web instead of tackling it’s food and has no fur, keep that bitch away. There’s a good chance it bites.
what if she is hot? 
Why would anyone drive a Chevy or Ford? Why? Wheel hubs, engine mounts, brakes, faulty ABS, anything electronic, ECU, “never a problem”? huh uh
Back in college my white female neighbor was furiously banging on my door at 6:30 fracking am. I thought that she had been raped or someone was trying to kill her judging by the sheer hysteria she was displaying. NOPE. Bitch wanted me to kill a spider for her. :wtf:
Granted the girl was hot, but that doesn’t mean shit to me if I’m abruptly awakened at the butt crack of dawn for some silly shit like that. I blew her off, but my all too eager and desperate neighbor across the hall decided to swoop in like a white knight to aid the hapless female wimp.
A few minutes later I hear both of them scream like two little girls.
True story.
Cats are awesome. They’re self sufficient and can do for themselves. It’s more like having a roommate who doesn’t pepper you with inane questions about stupid things and occasionally rubs up on you.
Having a dog is like having a retarded friend to take care of. I had a dog and I loved that dog, but man, that year I had him definitely made me decide to postpone having any kids.
Cats are like being friends with an asshole who doesn’t really care about you and expects you to clean up his messes.
Ever notice how any cat who’s actually a good pet is invariably described by his owner as having a doglike personality?
People just say that about cats that are more affectionate, and there are plenty of affectionate cats out there. Dogs are affectionate whether or not you want them to be. A cat is like, “You don’t want me on your lap right now? That’s cool, I got other shit to do anyway.” A dog would be like, “W…w…wait, you don’t…you don’t want me on your lap? Do you not love me anymore? Should I just…should I leave? Or maybe just go over here and cry so you feel guilty?”
It’s actually worse than a retarded friend. It’s like having a needy woman you’re not fucking around the place.
Dogs are more like, “We ain’t playing? Cool, Ima take a nap. Rattle the leash if we goin out.”
Cats are more like, “FUCK YOU.”
Not sure is this has been asked but I worked an indy rap gig the other week and white folk were there singing along but when it was time to say nigga in the song all of them turned to me like they were looking for approval. Why do white people do this?