I might bother to refute some of that later, but my vote has already been cast. I just want to make sure that you know that “anti-pussy” means “not owned by pussy a.k.a. resistant to women/sex/love”. That’s why Non-give-a-shittance is a separate thing.
It seems like you think it means “not-a-pussy”. Otherwise I’m failing to see how elder abuse transcends anti-pussy in any way.
…seriously.
EDIT: and YES to more Magoo discussion.
You mad?
If we’re stupid, then apparently every person in this thread not named Muff Daddy is also stupid. But we’re not here to argue about intelligence, we’re here to argue whether or not Beast belongs in the top tier.
-We say that tools and assists violate the rules of tiering. You say, “You don’t understand, he was GIVEN tools and assists, so it’s ok.” Apparently, you don’t understand, because it’s not ok. It doesn’t matter who gave them to him, or the circumstances under which he was given them, or whether he had to put an old lady out in the rain to get them. Tools and assists aren’t allowed to give a character the upper hand.
-We say that he has no antipussy because he has a lady who loves him, who he loves back, and who he nearly died of heartbreak without. You say, “You’re stupid, he shut the door on an old lady, he must have antipussy because he has non-give-a-shittance, and that transcends antipussy.” I have no idea where you got this from, but no one’s buying it.
-You say he has a magical castle (pretty queer), where he can see everything and invisible servants and blah blah blah. All these tools still didn’t stop a bunch of ignorant French peasants from storming the castle and fucking him up something royal.
-He would have died during this confrontation if not for the assist of his curse, which hinged on the two-way love between him and his pussy.
It doesn’t matter if all these tools and assists are part of his curse, because 1). they’re not allowed, and 2). they’re not all of his curse. His curse transformed him into a beast and told him he had to fall in love, so he did. Beast loses to the curse you claim gives him power.
Also, here’s a semi-scholarly article about how The Beauty and the Beast was an allegory for the AIDS epidemic of the 80s. Kinda puts Beast’s “curse” in a whole new light.
Beauty and the Beast | Sexual Fables
You submitted it for a vote, and I haven’t seen one vote in favor of him besides you.
No one wants the hairy, gay wolf/monkey/bear Frenchman on the list. S.H.I.T. has spoken.
EDIT: I, too, am in favor of Mr. Magoo, especially in honor of the LATE GREAT Leslie Nielson. Seeing Batman throw a Batarang at him, only to have Magoo bend down to pick up a penny and narrowly avoid it, would warm my heart.
Then how about applying your own damn rules to what Batman has access to? You say that Batman has an anti-spray for everything. Essentially you’re saying that Batman has an infinite number of assists in his utility belt since you claim that he can create or obtain any substance necessary to defeat an opponent. Take Dip for instance. You say Batman has access to Dip, but Batman didn’t create Dip. He’d have to go find it. Can Batman create Dip? You don’t know.
“Tools and assists aren’t allowed to give a character the upper hand.”
Right. So, someone can’t use the tools/powers they were given to get the upper hand unless their name is Batman? Is that how it works?
Actually, you’re right. I fucked up.
Tools aren’t allowed to be tiered. They can still be used.
Assists can’t be used, and no one gives a shit about Beast, no matter what kind of special mirrors and stuff he has.
My bad.
But then again, who really cares? It’s Beast, and no one wants him.
/me officially gives up.
Who sits on the S.H.I.T council and casts the deciding votes though? Let’s see a list.
I wish I could remember everyone, but off the top of my head:
Azrael
Carpet Lint
thurstotherapy (now thurst)
Evil Morrigan
The Mullah
Ender120
Septimus Prime
RandomNigga (now black jesus)
givequicheachance (now Omega Viscant)
ViciousSLASH
Saotome Kaneda
Rioting Soul
Shaft Agent
EDIT: The way to join the ranks of the S.H.I.T. are to get a character you introduce and present evidence for accepted into top tier or above.
Official Tiers:
MacBauer Tier
MacBauer
God Tier
Bauer/MacGuyver/Mentos
Top Tier
Rollback Guy
The King
Kujo Jotaro
From-The-Future-Prep Cable
Cr. Fierce
Nutri-Grain Bar Guy
Spinach’d Popeye
"The End" Thanos
God
ST Akuma
Prep-Time Batman
Random Tier
Vin Diesel
Chuck Norris
Also, here is a great intro from Azrael.
…seriously.
I see.
Two things:
What about things that Batman would not fight or is simply indifferent to? Something that would not have to fight Batman to a standstill or something that Batman would simply not care enough to try to eliminate?
What counts as a “character” here? Is cr. Fierce a really considered a “character”? Or is it acknowledged as some sort of “entity”?
Good questions.
There really isn’t an allowance for a “wouldn’t fight” clause in any of this. It’s a “versus” style hypothetical “who would win in a fight between…” scenario. We don’t know why they would be fighting, but we don’t really care. It is just assumed that they are.
At one point it was shown that c.FP was the a subatomic unit making up much of the earth’s matter (for example the AHVB is made entirely of microscopic c.FPs) But the reason that c.FP is considered “alive” is pretty much that it used to be Sagat that was listed in the tiers there, but then we decided that c.FP is the actual being, and Sagat is simply the host for its power. So you can read “Sagat” there instead if you want.
…seriously.
P.S.: Mentos was largely granted to be “alive” due to the canonical theme song that proclaims mentos to be “fresh and full of life”
Ah, okay, I get it. So something can be submitted on the basis of a theme song.
On this basis I’d like to submit to the list what I think is a glaring omission.
[media=youtube]3AQ3IAriL0k[/media]
This theme song is the height of 90s era inspirational sports intro music. The 90s era NBA on NBC theme song should have a special place in the heart of every man here. Carpet Lint and a few other should agree with me here. It is the musical signal for sports greatness. It is a sports music theme that has not been topped since. Nothing even comes close. It evokes sheer manliness. Unlike the Monday Night football song, which has to ask you, “Are you ready for some football?”, the NBA on NBC didn’t ask you if you were ready to watch Michael Jordan. When you heard the theme music, you KNEW it was time to watch basketball. The NBA on NBC theme song accomplishes this without any words. If you have any disdain for this theme song, you have no soul. Like the Mentos theme, the NBA on NBC theme song is alive, in your hearts and minds.
Batman is indifferent to it. Bruce Wayne himself would love it and me inspired by it.
Thoughts?
How would it win a fight?
Who would bother fighting it? How can you fight a musical score?
You can’t. Nor can a musical score fight.
So, how does Mentos win a fight? How do you fight Mentos?
Or how about this: You can fight the NBA on NBC theme song by saying that it isn’t inspirational and manly, but then your soul would dissipate into nothingness. You can fight it by saying that it isn’t that great of a theme song, but then, again, you’d lose your soul.
Mentos is the Holy Spirit to MacGuyver and Bauer. The essence of everything that makes them dangerous. When MacGuyver makes a pipe bomb out of a can of spray paint, a paper clip, and chocolate sprinkles, he’s tapping into the Spirit of Mentos. When Bauer runs into a room and starts breaking necks, shooting everyone, and generally fucking up your plan, he’s tapping into the Spirit of Mentos.
It basically inspires you to do whatever you need to do to come out on top in any situation. See the numerous commercials as evidence.
You couldn’t fight it. And it already knows how to beat you.
If we are going to bring “musical scores” to life then…
As inspirational as that theme can be, it really can’t compete with [media=youtube]tVbIDqwPTH4&feature=related[/media]. While the NBA theme may “inspire”, “O Fortuna” is always associated with the Apocalypse, the end of days or simply put… WHEN SHIT IS GOING DOWN! NBA Theme? People dribbling a ball well and a crazy dunk/3 pointer every now and then? Plus, O Fortuna has been around for CENTURIES! There are very few pieces of entertainment that can survive that long. NBA theme is in it’s infancy.
When you hear O Fortuna and you are not the one it’s play for, the outcome isn’t going to be pretty for you. You can kiss your love ones good bye while you watch the world blow up.
Oh shit. O fortuna might actually have a shot at making the tiers. Tanion with some majorly good picks.
…seriously.
I mean think about it. How many times has that song been playing while all holy hell is breaking loose and every fucking thing is blowing the fuck up? I think it’s reasonable to conclude that O Fortuna may be the world’s number one cause of explosion montages. That’s some powerful stuff right there.
Still, I need to be convinced.
*How is it alive? I’m not buying Muff’s “It’s alive in our hearts and minds” line. You could say the same thing about JFK, but it doesn’t make him any more alive.
*What does it do when it’s not playing? It seems like if O Fortuna is alive, it may actually be a species of beings that have a very short lifespan (about 3 - 5 minutes depending on the rendition). Does O Fortuna die at the end of the song?
*Does O Fortuna have the ability to do anything in vacuum, where sound can’t be transmitted?
…seriously.
with that thought why not just make a musical tier list seperate from the main one…because I then forsee many songs becoming nominated.
That’s a horrible idea. I don’t see how any songs could really stand up to O Fortuna right now anyway, and I don’t even see how that is going to make the tiers.
…seriously.
I’m not a fan of tiering O Fortuna.
It may play during intense moments, but whether it causes those moments or is caused by them is pretty vague.
Also, the poem itself is about being beaten by Fortune and Fate, to say nothing of Batman.
"O Fortune,
like the moon
The state constantly changing,
always growing
or decreasing;
Detestable life
now difficult
and then easy
Deceptive sharp mind;
poverty
power
it melts them like ice.
Fate?monstrous
and empty,
you whirling wheel,
stand malevolent,
vain is the help
and always likely to fade to nothing,
shadowed
and veiled
you plague me too;
now through the game,
my bare back
I bring to your villainy.
Fate, in health
and in virtue,
is now against me,
driven on
and weighted down,
always in the vale of tears.
So at this hour
without delay
pluck the vibrating string;
since Fate
strikes down the strong,
everyone weep with me!"
I pass, although the song is badass.