no anti-pussy? How is punching a cock not anti-pussy? The only thing that punching cocks is more than anti-pussy is anti-cock? Imagine all the poor girl who come home to a cock-punched man. You think they are getting any?
Nah. If the only way a character can beat PT-Bats is by suicide, then it doesn’t belong in top tier (unless it has some sort of mechanism where suicide prevents it from dying, like a resurrection, reincarnation, or being Doctor Who.)
…seriously.
EDIT:
Go look up the definition on anti-pussy. http://shoryuken.com/f3/srk-tier-discussion-os-xii-257989/index7.html#post9897865
(It’s under “What kind of character can I nominate?” --> “Weakness List” --> “Pussy”)
And yes, he has anti-cock.
My bad Viscant. I was just standing up to the very best incarnation of Steven Seagal. Only chance he has against batman is one good punch in the cock. But I assume batman is always wearing his batcup. Not to mention the carbon fiber bat condom sewed permanently to his dick.
Cock-punching is more non-give-a-shittance than anything else. You have to be pretty low on the caring continuum to punch male genitalia.
I don’t mean that successful suicide attacks should be made top tier, merely that they should be recognized. Being able to defeat anyone on the tiers in any manner should be documented IMO.
Here’s the thing about depictions of Santa: We all know that there are TONS of them. There are literally so many story lines involving Santa (especially in visual media) that any TV writer or TV producer is almost obligated to come up with a wacky storyline involving Santa. Ender and Quiche’s examples are merely dredging up the wackiest and most unflattering depictions of Santa and presenting them as evidence of his “weakness” or “clumsiness”. But come on. We can sling counter-examples back and forth all day long. I have been maintaining that the true essence of Santa (what we really know about him and his vast array of powers) is found in the content of primarily non-visual media. We all know about Santa (and are made clearly aware of his abilities) through the songs that mention him.
[media=youtube]MiNkll4JSwo"[/media]:
All of my arguments in this thread have been pretty consistent with Santa’s abilities as stated in the songs about him.
[media=youtube]7MBvCyF7aMU"[/media]:
Look at the items here. These are not mere wooden toys. They are fully manufactured vehicles. A duplex that fits inside of a stocking. The deed to a platinum mine. Him sliding down the chimney and the List are mentioned again and again.
Gifts delivered to millions of homes without fail on a single night. Sees you when you’re asleep and awake, knows your good and bad deeds, slides down a chimney of any size, etc. Detailed posts debating the scientific properties which demand an explanation for how he Accomplishes these things only end up proving that Santa has powers that are on a completely different level and completely defy the conventional laws of physics.
It is this Santa that I nominated. The Unsullied by Visual Media Santa. Simple. Pure. Uncomplicated, yet quite obviously Very Powerful. Unsullied by the perversions of television writers and producers.
Writers and producers of visual media are almost obligated to come up with alternative, wacky (zany) plotlines to increase their viewership during the holiday season. The negative depictions of Santa that have been presented here are little more than what are essentially big-media driven Santa fan-fiction that deviates from the true concept of Santa as depicted in the songs about him and Christmas …songs which predate these one-off visual media perversions of Santa by many years. Using an M&M’s commercial as evidence against Santa is like linking to some shitty Batman fan-fiction as evidence against Batman back when Batman was up for nomination.
It’s like, I’m struggling to come up with a qualifier to accurately describe the Santa I put up for nomination. I need a qualifier that is immune to perversions that are thought up for a Flintstones episode, an M&Ms commercial, a movie starring Tim Allen, or a Hollywood-produced Fred Clause; immune to any inane examples of writers trying to “spice up” Santa to increase TV ratings or rake in box office cash. I think it needs to be something like Unsullied by Visual Media Santa, or just Pure Santa. Or, “Non Visual Media Santa”, since the majority of negative evidence presented against Santa has come from some source of (you guessed it) visual media.
Well, we have to assume that Santa gets his powers from God, since his body is able to survive the insane forces of speed generated by his sled and reindeer; and his being able contort his body (and the associated presents) down a chimney of any size. Santa is also understood to be married, a God-sanctioned ceremony. Santa is also quite obviously immortal, or at least incapable of aging as granted to him by God, since Christmas has been around longer than any of us have been alive. I don’t know of any Elf that can do such things simply by virtue of having Elven blood. As the song says, Santa visits millions of homes on a single night. Like you said, it is an open sleigh. Santa is either capable of generating an insanely powerful force field that protects him, or the properties of Santa’s own body simply allow him to withstand such forces on his own.
Also consider what Santa does once he is inside your house. He has to fill millions of individual stockings with the gifts that match each individual person’s name. He has to stop and eat any available milk and cookies. He has to place gifts under the tree. He has to repeat this process millions of times, in one night. Even if Santa is using the sled and reindeer as an assist to travel from home to home, Santa himself is moving at an incredible rate of speed while he is inside a Christmas-celebrating household. (Or, as stated by Bowling Pin, Santa’s perception of normal human space and time is completely different from what we can currently experience or comprehend.)
And what about the size of the sack of toys (or more properly, gifts) he carries around? The sheer number of gifts in the sack would make the sack incredibly enormous. Santa either has God-like super strength to be able to tote that thing around, or Santa is able to manipulate matter such that he is able to shrink (what we have to assume amounts to several billions of-) presents down to such small sizes that he is able to fit them all inside a single sack. Or, Santa’s sack is actually a portal to some other dimension which Santa can access to place said presents in until he needs to deliver them.
Another reason Santa must derive his power from God is the Sealed Christmas Tree conundrum that I introduced but no one has yet to reply to:
Voting S.H.I.T. members should try to answer the above honestly and vote accordingly. I think I made a solid argument as to why PT Batman cannot Prep against Santa. Ask yourself: are these one-off, zany, made-for-tv visual media depictions of Santa more representative of the character and his traditional abilities than the non-visual depictions of him in which his abilities are clearly stated in song, and which predate these visual depictions of him?
Another reason Santa derives his powers from God is that the Lord Above is specifically thanked for Santa’s visit in:
[media=youtube]PwWzLv5gcv4[/media]
If I have to qualify the nomination, I’m going with: Non Visual Media Santa, or “NVM Santa”.
NVM Santa deserves your vote.
Dammit I keep getting hit with work and overtime…once I am off I will be posting evidence and bring the hype for most interesting man. Many see his exploits from the commercials but I’ll compile both the TV and radio ads.
I nominate [media=youtube]4PveOdLQesE&feature=related"[/media] for top tier.
It has been shown that he can pull anything or anyone he wants out of his pants living or dead. He has never been seen NOT wearing his pants. The size of the object doesn’t matter either, in one episode of All That, he missed a flight, so he pulled a full-sized airplane out of his pants. Yes, he is married with children. But if they were ever kidnapped by Batman, they are also baggin and saggin, so they would just pull out a tool to escape from his clutches. Also, since Barry pulled a living version of Abe Lincoln out of his pants, it means that he has the power to pull things from the past out of his pants. So if Batman killed his family, he could just pull last week’s version of his family out of his pants and vice versa.
Essentially, he could pull a weakened Batman out of his pants and kill him, making PT Bats vanish from existence.
Goddamn, you’re really reaching now.
Your modifier is “Santa without all that bad evidence you just threw at me”?
I don’t know if you think these songs just fucking materialize out of thin air, and I hate to burst your bubble if so, but that’s not the case. Those songs are written by people.
The same people who write tv, commercials, and movies. They’re all valid pieces of evidence against a character you’re trying to get tiered.
Also, it’s funny that visual media is grounds for disqualification for you because it’s whacky and unflattering (unflattering is a stupid word to use here, since it’s nobody’s job to flatter Santa, and unflattering evidence of him is just as admissible even if it’s distasteful to the person trying to tier Santa), but you see no problem quoting a whacky, overly-flattering song in which Santa leaves for a woman a '54 convertible, a yacht, and the deed to a platinum mine in her stocking.
I’m sure all of those gifts are part of Christmas lore. :rolleyes:
Santa does not exist outside the myths that people create. When somebody (anybody) adds to the Santa myth, you have no choice but to throw it in the pile with the rest of things you have to take into account when thinking about Santa.
But you think songs are truly representative of Santa’s powers, since they’re not driven by big bad media.
We can play this game. It’s boring and restrictive, but we can play.
If it’s songs ye be wanting, songs ye be getting:
[media=youtube]gjX4gGUSkA8"[/media]
[media=youtube]HTGlUMvbhSw"[/media]
[media=youtube]1x57OPlHye0"[/media]
That’s all I feel like finding right now. If any of the videos threaten the view of Santa that you hold so dear, just close your eyes. Then they’re just like songs!
Hurry up and get back to me on why your songs written by people are canon, but these songs are somehow unacceptable (maybe because they’re unflattering, and you only believe in flattering Santa?). I can’t wait to hear what you come up with this time.
Damn, I like BSB a lot. He doesn’t lose to any of the normal things that keep black dudes off the list. If you offered him chicken or white women, he would decline and just pull his own out of his pants. If the cops came after him, he could pull a jetpack or an airplane or anything he wanted to escape from them.
The only weakness I see is that he’s way too accommodating.
Barry: I’m Baggin’ Saggin’ Barry, I have what people want.
Batman: Hey Baggin’ Saggin’ Barry, I forgot my way to beat you at home.
Barry: Oh, no problem Batman.
Then he pulls a crowbar or a gun or a bomb out of his pants and hands it to Batman.
Game over?
Why do you persist so vigorously Ender? You already voted No, so why continue to post re: Santa? I have my evidence out there, you have yours. I thought you were done.
The current vote is 2 no, 1 yes, and 1 more/maybe. So why keep it up? Just shut up and let the posts speak for themselves. Why don’t you try establishing some things about Santa that we can at least agree upon? I named some specific things about Santa that no one disputes. Would you care to dispute them? Did you ever believe in Santa as a kid Ender? Did you sing Christmas songs? How about you try replying to the basic Santa conundrums I posted? The Poison Milk and Cookies Test. The Sealed Christmas Tree Conundrum. Got replies? I haven’t seen them. Like, why you mad tho? Sit back and let the remaining S.H.I.T members read the posts for themselves. Some of them obviously are favorable to Santa and/or have further questions, you are merely the loudest and most obnoxious objector.
There’s nothing left for you to say at this point. Santa and his powers are like a tree. The songs and assumed abilities of St. Nick/Santa Clause form the main trunk of the concept/legend of Santa. Everything else is nothing but branches. You can sit here and argue that the branches are more solid than the trunk all you want, but you will always be inconsistent with the traditional depiction of the character and his abilities. I mean, look at what you’ve been reduced to by my easily-understood arguments. You have been reduced to linking to videos with less than 10,000 views on YouTube and one Weird Al song. You are relying on branches when I am arguing from the trunk; the roots.
Put down your gavel, Senator Ender, and let the rest of the S.H.I.T. members speak for themselves.
Barry is nice, but he’s a competitor when he needs to be. I think you’re mistaking his kindness for gullibility.
Well it would have been easy enough to be done, but then you changed your nomination.
Things we agree on:
-Santa delivers presents to good children
-He has to deliver many presents in one night
-He is capable of withstanding the high speeds necessary to visit all the households
-He can fit down any chimney, or come in the back door when there is no chimney
-He has a list of things you’ve done, good and bad
Things I don’t agree with:
-Santa can deliver anything you ask for
-Santa himself is capable of travelling at high speeds
-Santa’s physical makeup is what allows him to withstand high speed travel (could be the suit, who knows?)
-His list of things somehow prevents him from coming to harm
Poison Milk and Cookies Test:
Poisoning the milk and cookies is unnecessary. Laying them out is enough to draw Santa to them. At this point, Batman need only be standing next to the plate, then beat the ever-loving shit out of Santa while he’s eating. While he’s doing this, Santa’s list will be going crazy adding all of Batman’s bad deeds to itself, but so what? How does that stop Santa from being pummelled?
Sealed Christmas Tree Conundrum:
Santa delivers presents to your house. They don’t have to go under the tree, as evidenced by all the things he leaves in peoples’ stockings. The most likely scenario would involve the small child waking up to find a 360 stuffed into a stocking and laid on top of the box, since nothing that you’ve said shows how Santa can pass through solid objects. Changing his shape to fit up and down a chimney, or through a keyhole, fine. But phasing through solid matter? I don’t buy it.
I’ve been “reduced” to posting videos with 10,000 views on youtube and a Weird Al song because you refuse to accept the other evidence (with many more views) because it was driven by the mainstream. Now you’re rejecting the new evidence because it’s not mainstream enough.
And look what you’ve been reduced to by all the evidence we’ve produced. You’re ignoring whole sections of Santa’s history that don’t fit in with what you’re trying to do.
You can cut branches off a tree all you want. Eventually, you end up with a dead tree, or a trunk.
Enjoy your trunk.
If the members of S.H.I.T. are fair (and I hope they will be), they’ll hold Santa to the same standard that all tiered characters were held to: Any evidence of weakness is grounds for disqualification.
Droopy didn’t make it because he cried over not being able to eat a pear.
Kool-Aid Man didn’t make it because of one commercial involving some soccer moms.
Gumby didn’t make it for some asinine reason I can’t even remember.
All it took was one instance for these characters to be thrown out. We’ve given reason after reason why Santa should suffer the same fate.
I’ll put down my gavel, but I’ll never recognize St. Nick as tier-worthy.
Do you have any other vids for BSB? I searched youtube, but only found the one you linked to.
If you can show him denying someone something they ask for, I’ll vote yes on him right now.
I figure if Batman can pull anti-whatever sprays off his utility belt, BSB can pull anti-Batman sprays out of his pants.
I believe he was only in the first 2 seasons of the show, the eps are pretty hard to come by. The only scenes I remember him in are the airport one and his final scene (the Youtube clip). I really don’t think that he has a robot-like function of giving people what they want. They were high school students in that clip. Everything in high school is about impressing people and trying to be popular. That’s why he was giving people what they wanted. He wanted to be the cool kid.
That’s why I specifically stated BSB Prime. In Prime form, he’s out of HS and has 3 kids. One of which looks at least 5, so that’s 5+ more years of item pulling experience that he has. He doesn’t give a fuck about what people think about him like he did in HS and if he did, he could just pull a bunch of people who love him out of his pants to cheer him up.
BSB Prime for top tier.
ok well this vid [media=youtube]U18VkI0uDxE[/media] sums up most of his amazing accomplishments and the man provides some damn pimp advice and thoughts.
but rather than just leaving it at that one must think over, looking at our random tier, all of those chuck norris facts and whatnot…well Most interesting man was all of those facts and then some but was doing that all of his life. He didn’t just become some meme or whatever. Most interesting man (whom from now on I’ll refer to as Mr. Dos Equis) was always that.
now he already can get past many things (anti pussy, Dip etc) but the big question is…Bats…remember Mr. Dos Equis is THE MOST INTERESTING MAN! Batman as he would attempt to fight him would become under a hypnotic spell due to him being so interesting that he would just stop where he was. Even if he still managed to snap out of it, a quote from the vid (around 4:30ish) says “he’s a love not a fighter…but he’s also a fight so don’t get any ideas.” Mr. Dos Equis thus CAN and WILL fight should he need to so hence why it’s not wise to begin to fight him.
Regardless Bats would have a hard time fighting a man who can just put you under his hypnotic intriguing personality.
more to come after I wake up from passing out.
“…” 
We already went over this. It’s either a force field, his own body, or (as you’ve introduced here) a highly-powerful suit (which makes no sense because the suit doesn’t cover his entire body as his head is clearly exposed) that allows Santa to withstand the forces of high speed travel. The suit argument makes the least sense.
What about if Santa knows when you are sleeping or awake? You agree with that or not?
If Santa can contort his body to slide down a chimney of any size (which is something we’ve agreed upon), how in the hell is Batman going to physically beat him such that Santa is knocked out cold? A large white man with an Epic Beard has just slid down a chimney that simply does not accommodate his girth, but Batman is going to knock him out? How? Santa is at least as elastic as Reed Richards on Christmas. Do you think that anyone can just walk up and KO Mr. Fantastic? I just don’t see it happening. I see Batman striking Santa in the head with a blunt object and Santa just laughing at Batman.
Kind of a dishonest answer since the Sealed Christmas Tree Conundrum never mentions anything about a stocking whatsoever. You just introduced the stocking into the equation to suit your own conclusion. If someone is getting a gift from Santa, they don’t need to hang a stocking.
Santa places gifts into or under two things: Into stockings, or Under trees. If Timmy, Billy, and Jimmy are all good kids whose family celebrates Christmas, Billy is not obligated to put up a stocking next to Timmy and Jimmy’s. On Christmas morning, Billy will simply find his gifts under the tree. In the absence of a stocking, Santa just puts your gifts under the tree. Again, the Sealed Christmas Tree Conundrum doesn’t mention anything about a stocking, only a tree sealed inside a solid steel box. Since when does Santa flat-out ignore your family’s decorated, lit tree and hang a stocking on his own? That is new to me.
I’m glad you haven’t given up. You have the right idea for your modifier but Ender has exposed weakness in it. So, if I were to give a better modifier for the Santa I think you want to nominate(while excluding said weakness), I would call him Santa of Legend. But if you do then you would no longer be able to use modern era songs to back up your stance. IMO Songs by people still alive(or people that were alive in our lifetime) would be off limits. Santa really is a difficult nominee.
That post was so poisonous the text should be colored purple.
We don’t know if the person he pulls out is their time-displaced self or just a xerox with no temporal ramifications on the present self. The reason I am thinking that the person is just a copy is because the Abe Lincoln he pulled out for the first time ever seemed vaguely familiar with Barry for some reason(he almost got his name right, he shouldn’t have any idea what his name is). So I think that the Baggin family, instead of having everything in their baggy pants, they actually can create anything(and they decide the specs) inside their pants and pull it out. Baggin Barry created an Abraham Lincoln that was mildly acquainted with him. So while not being able to kill PT-Bats through time-fuckery, he still may have an ability that could put him in the tiers IMO.
But:
baggy pants law - Google Search
And in the video we see evidence that he can be made depressed merely by being bested by a high school girl and he needed outside help to regain his confidence. It remains to be seen how resistant a grown up Barry would be to psychological attacks but even if it has increased, we are talking about Batman here. And not just Batman, Batman after he’s had time to observe him and prepare accordingly. I doubt Barry Prime is that psychologically fortuitous.
[media=youtube]W-JjldxU-pA"[/media]
Wan No Trabble Jackie Chan
I have the very strong idea that he does beat PT-Bats, I just don’t have the creativity to script such a grant event. He’s like Spinach’ed Popeye for me in the sense that “hey, he’s going to get the job done”. He wins on the double 'cause he doan wan trabble, he’s Jackie the kung fu Chan. Yeah… Anyways, how could PT-Bats exploit Jackie while in this state in a way that he can beat him? I have no idea. Basically, Batman’s preparations can only make Doan Wan Trabble Jackie even stronger. If Batman, Joker, Xanatos and Luthor all got together to form a plan against DWNT Jackie then all humans other than Jackie would probably be turned into tang like in Evangelion.
In classic Jackie Chan movies, DWNT Chan would only win fights against the overconfident underlings. Then the main antagonist would appear, beat the crap out of him, and embarass him in such a way that he was to go off to train for months before returning for revenge. I like the idea of DWNT Chan, but there is a reason he never appears in final fights of his old Kung Fu films- because when the going gets tough, he doesn’t have the resolve to get the job done.
Problem is, Santa of Legend still suffers from the fact that he has no offensive capabilities. A jolly generous fat man has no way of hurting bats, even if he can carry a ton presents really fast and fly. There’s no evidence of him ever fighting anyone over anything, which makes him un-tier-able.
…seriously.
I’m not sure about them being off limits. Let’s look at the dates of when these songs were created.
Santa Claus Is Coming to Town - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Here Comes Santa Claus - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Santa Baby - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
I’m going to go out on a limb and say that none of the S.H.I.T. members were alive during the 30s, 40s, or 50s. These songs weren’t hits in your lifetime. Those were the days of your great-grandparents/grandparents. Check the dates on those song lyrics. Referring to them as “modern era” songs is a bit of a stretch, especially since “modern” is a pretty relative term. “Santa Claus Is Coming to Town” was a hit back in the mid 30s.
In terms of the lifetimes of the current S.H.I.T. members, that places the creation of these songs in the straight up “old-timey” era. Hell, “Santa Claus Is Coming to Town” is pre-World War II era music. The guys who wrote that were contemporaries of your great grandparents, born in the late 1800s. The guys who wrote “Here Comes Santa Claus” were both born before 1910.
For a current voting S.H.I.T. member, this music represents the character and abilities of the Definitive Santa, which is probably a better modifier of the nomination than NVM Santa. This is the Santa that most of the people who post here were told about; the one you probably believed in. This is the Santa I nominated, and every shred of evidence that’s been presented against him is a deviation from the essential characteristics of the character. I guess it’s partly my fault for not defining my nomination in such specific terms so that all these zany depictions of Santa couldn’t be brought up. It’s like I said before, Santa is like a tree, and these songs (and Santa’s powers mentioned therein) form the main trunk of the character and his abilities. Everything else is branches, silly deviations, or out-right perversions.
Definitive Santa