You talk a lot of shit, and then you step right in it.
In the interest of brevity, and because it’s getting boring having you just repeat everything we shoot down as if you’re hoping eventually we’ll just give up and put your character on the list, I’m breaking this down to bullets.
-People did notice that Batman was different. People who watched him fight would say “Batman seems different. Less refined, more savage. Relying more on raw strength than finesse.” Take your protip and stick it squarely up your ass.
-Please stop rambling and learn how to fucking read. If Santa knows when everyone is sleeping and awake, or knows when everyone is bad or good, then the word you’re looking for (and the one I used) is “omniscience” or in stupid people terms: The ability to know everything. Omnipresence is the ability to be everywhere at once, which Santa clearly is not, since he lives at the North Pole and (according to you) can travel near the speed of light. Even if he travelled at the speed of light, he still wouldn’t be omnipresent, since light isn’t omnipresent.
-I don’t know where you’re getting this Threat To Christmas shit from, but I’ve never seen Santa do anything remotely violent or go on the offensive against anyone. Maybe in Weird Al’s song “The Night Santa Went Crazy”, but even then he ends up being gunned down by the FBI. Not very top tier.
-Again, I wasn’t paying attention (this is getting pretty repetitive) and typed “tools” instead of “assists”, which would be the correct term to use when Santa is being “assisted” by a bunch of reindeer to travel at the speed of light. Santa himself does not travel this fast, or else he wouldn’t need the reindeer. If Santa could travel at the speed of light, how would he also cause the reindeer to move that fast? Especially considering that mass increases the closer you come to the speed of light, so that the more you were carrying with you, the more mass you would have to support. Doesn’t make even a little sense if Santa could travel at light speed by himself, which he clearly cannot.
-Also, Santa makes toys. Train sets and teddy bears and race cars and rocking horses and all kinds of low-tech garbage. What in any of that do you possibly think he could use as a weapon? When we talk about Batman being able to meet Santa’s level of tech, I have no doubt that this is true, since Batman almost certainly knows how to carve wood.
-Also, there’s the fact that Santa is completely made up, and all of the feats attributed to Santa are actually accomplished by parents and then lied about to children. But since the rest of the list is composed of fictional characters as well (especially that “God” guy), I’ll let this one slip. Even though I shouldn’t, because none of the other characters let someone else do their job and then take credit for it.
-The final nail in Santa’s coffin: The plot to The Santa Clause. Santa gets startled by Tim Allen (if he really knew everything everyone was doing, he would have known he was coming up behind him), loses his power, and everything is done by the reindeer and an amateur.
"Scott Calvin (Tim Allen) is a divorced father and advertising executive with a young son, Charlie (Eric Lloyd). On Christmas Eve, Charlie comes over to spend the night with Scott before going back to his mother’s for Christmas Day. Scott attempts to assure Charlie of Santa Claus’ existence, while in full disbelief himself, that is until the movie progresses. That night, they are awakened by a clatter on the roof. Going outside to investigate, Scott can see someone on the roof. He yells at the trespasser, which causes the man to lose his balance and falls off the roof. The trespasser appears to be Santa Claus.
He magically disappears, but his suit remains. They find a business card in a pocket stating that if something should happen to him, someone should put on the suit, and the reindeer will know what to do. They find a sleigh and eight reindeer perched atop the house. Scott puts on the Santa suit to please Charlie, and begins delivering toys from rooftop to rooftop."
The reindeer are the real heroes, not Santa. He’s just a dude with a magic suit that makes you fat. And he’s not immortal, as it appears that when one Santa dies, someone else just puts on the fat suit and takes over.
I’m done arguing about Santa. If y’all want to put it to a vote, let’s do it. I vote no.
