SRK Tier Discussion OS XII

General Discussion
221

Look at the current tier list quiche. You will see that God is in the top tier. If someone converts to atheism, does it count as a weakness against God? Hardly. God can still see everything they do. It’s the same with Santa. Santa still retains the power to know when you are sleeping or awake, or if you have been bad or good, even if you are Jewish. Santa retains his abilities to monitor those who practice Judaism, or any other religion really, because he has an obligation to know the moral status of everyone on the planet. This is because Santa taps directly into God’s power to do his job in the same way that MacBauer and Batman borrow from the power of Mentos. Hint: Judaism, Christianity, Hindiusm, Islamism, Whateverism, are all believers in the same God who is on the tier list. Santa, in turn, taps directly into God’s powers of Omniscience and Omnipresence. No one escapes Santa’s purview. No one.

What if a Jewish kid converted to Christianity and started celebrating Christmas? Do you think Santa would have to start an entirely new list and check it twice to find out the past deeds of said former Jew? No. Santa keeps a running list of your deeds and sleep times regardless of your religion. It’s not like Santa is a vampire who can’t enter certain places, like a castle made out of garlic for instance. Santa can leave presents for any sufficiently good child or person he wants, regardless of their religion.

There’s a flaw in your argument. How does Batman converting to Judaism enable him to defeat Santa? If Bruce converts to Judaism as a tactic versus Santa, then he implicitly acknowledges the existence of Santa. Plus, it is a well-known fact that Bruce has celebrated many Christmases over the years, hence, Santa has already been given access to Wayne Manor and any parts therein.

222

Batman has the “cure of the X-Gene” hair gel.
Before Emma even shows a skin of her tit…she ends up a normal human blonde golddigger.
Batman wins.

Hell…most if not ALL those abilities you listed Martian Manhunter has. Emma loses by default.

223

Contradiction. You cannot have it both ways re: the inside of the box. If the contents of the box cannot be altered by outside influence, it must also hold true that whatever is inside of it cannot escape it either. The cat cannot teleport outside of the box if it is constructed in a way so that volatile isotopes outside of the box cannot alter its contents on the molecular level. What is inside of the box is inside of the box. We will assume for the sake of the argument that with an infinite amount of possibilities, there may be a fifty percent chance that upon opening the lid, the cat will shoot Batman in the face, give him cancer, or immediately disintegrate him. There may be a fifty percent chance that the cat will either do this to itself, or will just meow.

However, this is all irrelevant. Nothing inside the box can interact with the outside world. Nothing outside the box can interact with it, save for a detachable lid.

PT Batman would simply put Schrodinger’s cat’s box inside of a bigger quantum physics-altering box also full of probability-volatile molecules, thus increasing his own probability for victory.

224

Schrödinger’s cat is a paradox not a contradiction. Schrödinger’s cat is allowed to have everything/nothing at the same time.

Aristotle’s Principle of Contradiction states that ?One cannot say of something that it is and that it is not in the same respect and at the same time.?

Schrödinger’s cat is “it” and “not it” at the same time.

225

that and Stairs…

226

Every mutant should be barred from the list because the mutant gene can be suppressed.

227

I don’t have time to defend MJ anymore, I have final exams for the next 2+ weeks.

But everything that has been said about MJ, posts and videos, should be wayyyy more than enough to clearly prove that MJ utterly destroys PT Batman without even trying.
MJ enters, affects and destroys different mediums, realities, timelines, worlds, without even being part of it.
MJ isn’t bound by anything at all. A great example was my last post, about MJ destroying the internets without even being there, let alone trying.

PT Batman is PT Batman, but PT Batman uses tools.

**
MJ doesn’t need anything, because he is MJ.
MJ is everything, anything, all encompassing, all affecting, and all destroying.**

228

I’m not sure if you have any kind of real understanding of Schrödinger’s cat. Windlord0 quite accurately covered it.

50% of the time the cat gets owned by the poison in the box, the other half batman opens the box and chokes the shit out of the cat. There are only two possible realities, both bad news for the cat.

229

Oh shit…STAIRS!!!
How could I have forgotten?

230

See this is exactly what Schrödinger’s cat transcends. Schrödinger’s cat is alive and dead at the same time (since both are true, it means Schrödinger’s cat is doing everything and nothing at the same time), thus is not bound by any restrictions as we clearly define as polar opposites (but is rather both at the same time).

Once again Schrödinger’s cat is NOT a contradiction. Schrödinger’s cat IS paradox that IS occurring (a paradox cannot naturally occur, Schrödinger’s cat is the exception). Since Schrödinger’s cat is a paradox, there is no either/or result. Schrödinger’s cat is everything and nothing at the same time. The box only used to create this paradox, it is not needed to support Schrödinger’s cat as just being hidden from view is enough to manifest its powers.

You must expand your mind and understand that Schrödinger’s cat is capable of everything/nothing because we personally do not know what Schrödinger’s cat is specifically doing.

Disclaimer
-This is a defense of Schrödinger’s cat specifically for the nomination for SRK Tier Discussion OS XII. This defense is high suggested to be a USE AT YOUR OWN RISK when actually writing for publication. This once again is purely a defense of Schrödinger’s cat specifically for the nomination for SRK Tier Discussion OS XII. As such, I must defend my nomination to my fullest abilities, which I intend to do. Schrödinger’s cat was nominated because of its unique abilities and that it isn’t apart of the normal media culture (ie, comic, tv, video games, commercials, etc) that SRK is accustomed too.

231

:lol: they alone are why no women have made it onto the tier list.

232

I think we’ve done enough writing and say that it’s time for the S.H.I.T members to comment on these nominations and their respective cases for battling against PT Batman. Let’s hear some verdicts and/or further arguments from the S.H.I.T.

233

Allstate Holiday “Mayhem”

Have you seen the new Allstate Holiday “Mayhem” commercial with Dean Winters? It’s pretty good!

[media=youtube]_ITpeTI1ZRM[/media]

[URL=“http://allstatenewsroom.com”]Allstate Insurance Digital Newsroom](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5-Sjld5yy3Q&feature=channel[/media)

234

Ok since you want to just ignore what the actual thought experiment is about, and the physics reasons for it existing I am not going to argue about that.

This one statement pretty much sums up your ignorance about the entire thing. If something isn’t being observed we don’t just assume that it is doing anything. When nobody is watching me could I be batman. You don’t know what I am doing, so I could be doing anything? In that case I would like to submit the TheEvilChinaMan physics version of myself to the tier list, as I am apparently batman, or macbauer, every time I am not being observed. Do you see now how silly an argument that is?

235

Do you understand how silly it is to argue character tier lists? Though it is entirely enjoyable to argue about.

I am just trying to have fun with this. Schrödinger’s cat was the only nomination that I could think of (while adding a stretch of imagination) that might be able to rival Prep-Time Batman in its own twisted way.

Each reply that I have made was in defense of Schrödinger’s cat. I will defend until otherwise told by any of the S.H.I.T. board members.

Onto my defense:

Correct. However Schrödinger’s cat is not just something, but a subject allowed to hold the status of being alive and dead at the same time. Schrödinger’s cat is not allowed to be bound by our “normal” rules, because of its ability to be alive and dead at the same time. Since this is true, I argue that Schrödinger’s cat must then be doing anything and nothing since it is able to be alive and dead at the same time (the complete extremes of polar opposites).

You could be, but you aren’t. Schrödinger’s cat is a paradox, there is no “could be.” You are not paradox, which is why your statement includes “could be.”

You are not a paradox and claiming to be Batman or Macbauer is more than just a stretch, but an out right lie. You have not again access to the status of being alive and dead at the same time. Schrödinger’s cat is a paradox, all paradoxes are true.

236

Meh. I don’t buy the whole cat thing. I can relate it’s BS to what was said in Southpark’s “Insheeption” scene:

[media=youtube]cUrkgSXnb0k[/media]

Also it seems like Firemen and Pizza Delivery guys can solve any paradox… BAD KITTY.

237

Oh I see I wasn’t being clear. The cat isn’t actually a cat. It never existed. It is just a thought experiment. If any creature was placed in the box (the actual box with the poison and such) then that creature would exist in the two states of being until observed.

I was trying to argue this point as a matter of the actual physics experiment, which you don’t seem to understand at all. To argue it in the basis of the tier listing, it loses. It is expressly stated that as soon as the box is opened the options all collapse into the single being of a living or dead cat. The Paradox is over and, the cat ends up as just a cat as soon as the box is opened So even if the cat is doing any possible things inside the box, those options all vanish once the box is opened. The cat has to defeat batman, not just exist as an entity outside of batman’s reach. If it can’t come out of the box and kill him, then the cat loses, and no cat is going to kill batman.

238

Seriously. How easily you mother fuckers forget. Do not forget that which I have blessed upon you.

239

Hah, I remember this thread.

I nominate [media=youtube]9VYLCP0JeIU"[/media]. He’s so ridiculous that on nico nico douga, they nickname him the “walking death flag” because when he appears it is GAME OVER.

  • Pussy? [media=youtube]UTC6L4trFOI"]HE’S GOT HOES and he [URL=“http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=svpX7lPcGYs”[/media] Pussy ain’t got NOTHIN on him. Also see under siege 2, where he uses pussy as a weapon to defeat lesser mortals.

  • [media=youtube]pLtPPSdo4Zk&t=0m20s"[/media] He will own PT batman.

  • [media=youtube]WEsbY1-9UYg"[/media]

  • [media=youtube]BzyckyinJmA"[/media]

  • As evinced in the first link, he is pretty much the embodiment of “[media=youtube]Uau5y_jnVpE”[/media]." Wherever he goes, he owns.

240

I seriously wrote this goddamn huge post re: Santa Claus and am goddamned pissed that my browser crashed. Fuck. Here are the new official tiers.

MacBauer Tier: MacBauer
Top Tier: c.hp, Batman
Roll Tier: Google Chrome

Ok. Well, here’s the gist of it.

Santa Claus may not have super speed. The reason being is that in order for Santa to physically be as fast as he must be to complete his mission, he would just about have to travel the speed of light. If this were the case, at the speed of light matter breaks down into molecules and Santa could just beam in and out of every house on Christmas Eve. However, Santa still has flying reindeer and a sled which carries an improbable amount of presents; this would be completely unnecessary if Santa could travel at light speed, and this would run counter to his MO of being able to efficiently deliver presents to every Christmas-celebrating household every year.

Instead, Santa may have a distorted sense of time. This means that for every second from our normal perspective that passes, minutes or even hours could pass for Santa. This would then give Santa conceivably several months to accomplish his task, making it more plausible. From our perspective, this would be “super-speed,” but in reality, Santa exists in a different temporal plane. This would also account for his apparent immortality; he may not be immortal at all, and may be hundreds of years old, but from his physical time distorted perspective, he could be in his '60s. If this is the case, it has been shown that objects in a slower temporal perspective can interact with objects from a “Normal” perspective, but it would cause a great force to be exerted. In other words, if slowed-down Santa punched you in the face, it would feel like getting hit by an 18-wheeler going 120 mph.

Santa is shown to know the moral fortitude of young Christian children. Either he has a psychic hivemind of elves policing our minds, or the elves have the complete technological supremacy to monitor our actions undetected, using tech that must be many times more state of the art than anything coming out of an American weapons manufacturer’s lab, or a Japanese science firm. That’s hardcore.

However, the vast majority of people on Earth aren’t Christian children who celebrate Christmas. That may number in the hundreds of millions, but Santa has not been shown to deliver presents to African tribesmen. Either this is because he simply does not care for them, or they exist outside of his sphere of manipulation.

Another interpretation on the identity of Santa himself is that he is not physically a man with an elf factory who lives at the North Pole, but rather a living zeitgeist of the Western European appropriation of the traditional Winter Solstice celebration; that is, he is a literal, living spirit of Christmas, and is the driving force that causes people around the world to buy each other gifts. If this is the case, then Santa himself is a spirit of either demonstrative altruism, or consumer capitalism. If it is the former, than Santa Claus is an avatar of love, kindness and peace. If it is the latter, then Santa Claus is the spirit of The Man himself, the wealthy, oppressive, White Anglo Saxon Protestant force that has kept The Man in power since the days of European colonialism and well into today. If this interpretation holds true, then Santa Claus could theoretically be defeated by the coming political and economic prominence of contemporary China, who would reclaim the Mandate of Heaven from our White masters.

If Batman faces Santa Claus (physical being, temporal distortion), Santa may very well know the schematics of Wayne Manor and the Batcave, as it is a domicile and part of his MO.

“When you were nine years old, all you wanted for Christmas was for your mother and father to not be murdered in a cold, dark alleyway. But you were naughty. Your father had to tell you things twice all year long, didn’t he? You were a bad boy, Bruce. You didn’t get what you wanted on Christmas.”

Hm. On second thought, this would either reduce Batman to a snivelling mess, or would piss him off. If it were a fight he wanted, Santa could theoretically have tech that could match or beat the Wayne Industries tech, and the time distortion example shows that a punch from Santa would really fucking hurt. Bruce would have to play footsies the whole damn match. Ridiculous damage or not, Santa does have a large hitbox in the form of his gut. Santa’s boots are likely resistant to slipping since he lives in the icy-as-fuck North Pole, therefore antispray corner trap might not be as effective here.

I would think that Santa’s “speed” would be kinda like Genei Jin. Think about that; Genei Jin w/ Gief damage levels per hit. Well. Shit. That’s pretty broke. Batman could batarang spam but with Santa’s speed he’ll just keep trading projectiles.

One-on-one, this fight might actually be in Santa’s favor, which is why Batman would have to lay out a trap. Bats lures Santa out to an abandoned building loaded with C4. Ordinarily, Santa could just read his mind and know the trap is coming, but Bruce’s mind is ridiculously trained; he would find a way to lay the trap out subconsciously so that not even a psychic hivemind Santa could detect it.

In other words, Batman can win this… with prep-time!

If Batman faces Santa Claus (as spirit of altruism and love and kindness to one another)… Well, I guess Batman would just have to be an asshole and win that way.

If Batman faces Santa Claus (zeitgeist of the rich white man)… in that case, with Wayne Industries being the foremost tech firm in the world, wouldn’t Santa Claus already be inside of, and responsible for, Batman?

I want to hear others’ thoughts on this as well.