Man attacks girlfriend with sauce over 50 Shades of Grey

Dander · July 14, 2012, 6:11pm

Gives new meaning to treating women like meat.

Neesa · July 14, 2012, 6:44pm

Working overnight… It was the perfect way to get through 8 hours. Grueling, but better than staring blankly at monitors.

Sending responds from my iPhone, like a champ. Sorta.

Hawk · July 14, 2012, 8:49pm

ಠ_ಠ

goodm0urning · July 14, 2012, 9:19pm

I found some steak sauce in my fridge. It’s pretty old. Will keep updated.

Cheesecake_Makoto · July 14, 2012, 9:43pm

Everything is definitely shits and giggles. But SRK has evolved way passed the “Men’s Locker Room”. It’s a comedy stage and we all get a shot to say the nastiest, funniest, dumbest shit we can think of…

But on the serious note, did anyone literally visualize how this would’ve gone down? Like…he slapped her then dowsed her with steak sauce. I think he was about to eat a juicy steak and the bitch just interrupted his meal. Maybe he was starving all day, probably just finished a 2 month fast of no meat. Men are no longer human after sacrificing meat for so long… Perhaps he was hoping she was going to reward him with a nice steak because he probably got on the damn fast for her in the first place, you know how these hoes out here love diets, especially the no meat ones…I’m sorry that you saw a documentary and thought that little pig getting sliced up was the most horrendous thing ever. Dumb bitch, shouldn’t be thinking pigs are cute anyway. But hey, this guy loves his girl, decides to fast for 2 months, no meat and on the last day was hoping for a nice steak but instead she’s reading 50 shades of grey! So maybe he had to make the steak himself, perhaps he overcooked his steak and had to suffer using steak sauce to make it taste better…and thats when she showed up at his door…

…so yeah its all her fault.

Tweleve · July 14, 2012, 9:48pm

3rd Strike

throwing_is_cheap · July 14, 2012, 9:53pm

[media=youtube]FU2mn_S0kls[/media]

KowtowRobinson · July 15, 2012, 12:49am

[/SIZE]

[SIZE=4]Sounds a little generous to me, wastes her time on GD complaining about how much she hates GD yet she doesn’t leave? You think she got it like that? Nahhh, I don’t think so.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=4]Also good to know that evidence of females getting dripping wet over money has now been published. Not like it matters since they’ll argue anyway, and we all know the only way to win an argument with a female is to just never get into one in the first place.[/SIZE]

About half way through the book, I looked up the author to see if she was a teenager. I really did because the characters are out of a 16 year old’s fantasy. The main male character is a billionaire (not a millionaire but a billionaire) who speaks fluent French, is basically a concert level pianist, is a fully trained pilot, is athletic, drop dead gorgeous, tall, built perfectly with an enormous penis, and the best lover on the planet. In addition, he’s not only self made but is using his money to combat world hunger. Oh yeah, and all of this at the ripe old age of 26! And on top of that, he’s never working. Every second is spent having sex or texting and emailing the female character. His billions seem to have just come about by magic. It seriously feels like 2 teenage girls got together and decided to create their “dream man” and came up with Christian Grey.

See the thing is, that never STOPS being their fantasy when they get older. In their minds, they’re just settling for less. Part of why they’re always so disagreeable, really.

RE-EDIT: Like the post all you want throwing is cheap, I’m still mad I got beat to that video you posted by ONE FUCKING POST.

Fight me.

Bonus content

throwing_is_cheap · July 15, 2012, 12:54am

Women flow chart in a nutshell

Am I hot?
Yes/No

Yes
Receive free stuff from men

No
Are you at least skinny?

Yes/No
(see Yes to the previous question, someone’ll settle)

No
BECOME A FEMINIST

get out cunt

angelpalm · July 15, 2012, 1:01am

This one was right below it lol

I enjoy erotica and heard so much about this book that I had to give it a shot, but I’m five chapters in and just can’t take it anymore. This has to be the most appallingly atrocious writing I’ve ever seen in a major release. The pseudonymous British author sets the action (such as it is) in Washington State… for no reason than that her knowledge of America apparently consists of what she read in “Twilight”… but the entire first-person narrative is filled with Britishisms. How many American college students do you know who talk about “prams,” “ringing” someone on the phone, or choosing a “smart rucksack” to take “on holiday”? And the author’s geography sounds like she put together a jigsaw puzzle of the Pacific Northwest while drunk and ended up with several pieces in the wrong place.

And oh, the repetition…and the repetition…and the repetition. I’m convinced the author has a computer macro that she hits to insert one of her limited repertoire of facial expressions whenever she needs one. According to my Kindle search function, characters roll their eyes 41 times, Ana bites her lip 35 times, Christian’s lips “quirk up” 16 times, Christian “cocks his head to one side” 17 times, characters “purse” their lips 15 times, and characters raise their eyebrows a whopping 50 times. Add to that 80 references to Ana’s anthropomorphic “subconscious” (which also rolls its eyes and purses its lips, by the way), 58 references to Ana’s “inner goddess,” and 92 repetitions of Ana saying some form of “oh crap” (which, depending on the severity of the circumstances, can be intensified to “holy crap,” “double crap,” or the ultimate “triple crap”). And this is only part one of a trilogy…

If I wrote like that, I’d use a pseudonym too.

Like some other reviewers, what I find terribly depressing is that this is a runaway bestseller and the movie rights are expected to sell for up to $5 million. There are so many highly talented writers in the genre… and erotica is so much more erotic when the author has a command of the language and can make you care about the characters. For examples, check out the “Beauty” trilogy written by Anne Rice under the pen name A.N. Roquelaure, or any stories by Donna George Storey or Rachel Kramer Bussel. Just stay away from this triple crap.

UPDATE: Thanks to the many other perturbed readers who have shared their own choices of the most annoyingly overused phrases in this masterpiece. Following up on their suggestions with my ever-useful Kindle search function, I have discovered that Ana says “Jeez” 81 times and “oh my” 72 times. She “blushes” or “flushes” 125 times, including 13 that are “scarlet,” 6 that are “crimson,” and one that is “stars and stripes red.” (I can’t even imagine.) Ana “peeks up” at Christian 13 times, and there are 9 references to Christian’s “hooded eyes,” 7 to his “long index finger,” and 25 to how “hot” he is (including four recurrences of the epic declarative sentence “He’s so freaking hot.”). Christian’s “mouth presses into a hard line” 10 times. Characters “murmur” 199 times, “mutter” 49 times, and “whisper” 195 times (doesn’t anyone just talk?), “clamber” on/in/out of things 21 times, and “smirk” 34 times. Christian and Ana also “gasp” 46 times and experience 18 “breath hitches,” suggesting a need for prompt intervention by paramedics. Finally, in a remarkable bit of symmetry, our hero and heroine exchange 124 “grins” and 124 “frowns”… which, by the way, seems an awful lot of frowning for a woman who experiences “intense,” “body-shattering,” “delicious,” “violent,” “all-consuming,” “turbulent,” “agonizing” and “exhausting” orgasms on just about every page.

Pterodactyl · July 15, 2012, 1:02am

i’m preeeeetty sure she can report you for that, and be justified.

You technically called her fat and a cunt.

I don’t agree with anything she says but don’t be an asshole for no good reason.

angelpalm · July 15, 2012, 1:08am

And I just called you a bloated cock swallowing faggot.

What about it son, this is how we roll in the GD.

not that you ARE, just proving a point, unless you want to swallow a bloated cock…

Pterodactyl · July 15, 2012, 1:10am

but that may or not be true about me.

you cant just go around calling people cunts and shit.

well you can but still.

angelpalm · July 15, 2012, 1:12am

What about Shitcunts?

BullDancer · July 15, 2012, 1:13am

Since I can’t leave this picture and bounce…

Quit defending these hoes… if he/she/it felt like defending itself(personally I think you’re a knight in shining armor for a dude), they’d do it…

Instead of finding a random dude squirting some bitch with steak sauce for reading garbo twilight fan fiction funny… she writes and essay and attention-hoes the hell out this thread…

Cheesecake_Makoto · July 15, 2012, 1:14am

saturday’s internet winner right there.

Pterodactyl · July 15, 2012, 1:18am

i’m not defending her because she’s a woman you dickhead, in fact I was JUST telling her that I think her opinion on my post was bullshit.

why do people make such a big deal out of gender?

I don’t care if you have tits or a dick, if someone is insulting people for no good reason I don’t agree with it.

goodm0urning · July 15, 2012, 1:19am

You’re all shitcunts.

This is not defamatory, because I am expressing a point of view and not accusing anybody of anything specific.

Unless you count being a shitcunt as a specific thing.

Pterodactyl · July 15, 2012, 1:20am

I’m not shitcunt, i’m SCRUBBY MCDICKHOLE.

BullDancer · July 15, 2012, 1:22am

You’re fat and you’re a cunt…

Report my post nigga… I destroyed your life from an online fighting game forum…

I’m sure your life will never be the same…