Man attacks girlfriend with sauce over 50 Shades of Grey

Dances_with_Ninjas · July 14, 2012, 1:12am

It’s a shame that this isn’t already in hardcover.

Inverse · July 14, 2012, 1:15am

Thanks for implying that I would spray someone in the face with tabasco sauce because they have a vagina.

No ones throwing sauce at people because they are women, its because they’re doing something retarded, like reading an incredibly shitty book based on an incredibly shitty movie, based on an incredibly shitty book series.(that said I wouldn’t throw sauce on anyone i’m just over exaggerating for the sake of discussion.)

It could have been a brother, a mother, a dad, a son, a cousin, a niece, a whatever.

Just because the person at the receiving end is a woman doesn’t mean that the people insulting her are insulting her because she is a woman.

See it would be misogynistic if I said “It must of been easy to get that sauce since he was right next to the fridge, because she was in the kitchen, and frankly i’m surprised a woman can fix sandwiches and read at the same time”.

but I didn’t say that, nor did anyone.

Whatever, if this article was about her saucing some guy over his watching porn or whatever, everyone here would still find some way to make it sound like she was crazy or a bitch, or whatever. Maybe jealous of the porn. Call her ugly, fat, what have you. That’s really her point~ if a girl is involved in these situations, she’s going to be the butt of jokes, humor and general disrespect because, trololol, she’s a woman. shrug

It’s SRK, it’s like that because even the mods are like that. Always been like that, and always will because they can’t act like this virtually anywhere else so one can kickback, relax and let it all go and stop pretending to respect the opposite sex. That’s too much of a hassle for some on a 24/7 basis.

This is where some can be honest with themselves. They might as well be honest about it all the time, and not try to claim they’re not douchebags to girls on their free time when nobody is looking. Some of the best posters on the board are the ones who are willing to admit it and don’t give a shit.

fishjie · July 14, 2012, 1:24am

best erotic story i have ever read was about gohan waking up in bed with bulma sucking his super saiyan dick. i mastrubated furiously to it

Ben_Perkins · July 14, 2012, 1:32am

Hit that bitch with MY sauce.

It was 50 shades of grey.

…yeah, I got nothing turns out I’m not funny, guys.

angelpalm · July 14, 2012, 1:33am

I don’t get it.

Where is Zero to explain it too me.

Mr.Unbrockable · July 14, 2012, 1:52am

You don’t need to be funny Ben. You’ve already won at life.

Vulpes · July 14, 2012, 2:00am

I love you guys.

Pterodactyl · July 14, 2012, 2:39am

You should probably see a doctor about that, sounds gross.

DeviltheEmperor · July 14, 2012, 6:20am

He should have went one step further and basted her.

goodm0urning · July 14, 2012, 6:34am

I’m told there is a moment in this book when he puts his finger in her butt.

Pterodactyl · July 14, 2012, 6:49am

I wonder what he said when he did it.

Radiantsilvergun3 · July 14, 2012, 6:56am

BULLSEYE!

Negative-Zer0 · July 14, 2012, 6:56am

"I really don’t like writing bad reviews. I admire people who have the courage to put pen to paper and expose themselves to the whole world, especially those writing erotica. Having just finished this book, however, I feel compelled to write a review.

About half way through the book, I looked up the author to see if she was a teenager. I really did because the characters are out of a 16 year old’s fantasy. The main male character is a billionaire (not a millionaire but a billionaire) who speaks fluent French, is basically a concert level pianist, is a fully trained pilot, is athletic, drop dead gorgeous, tall, built perfectly with an enormous penis, and the best lover on the planet. In addition, he’s not only self made but is using his money to combat world hunger. Oh yeah, and all of this at the ripe old age of 26! And on top of that, he’s never working. Every second is spent having sex or texting and emailing the female character. His billions seem to have just come about by magic. It seriously feels like 2 teenage girls got together and decided to create their “dream man” and came up with Christian Grey.

Then come the sex scenes. The first one is tolerable but as she goes on, they become so unbelievable that it becomes more laughable than erotic. She orgasms at the drop of a hat. He says her name and she orgasms. He simply touches her and she orgasms. It seems that she’s climaxing on every page.

Then there’s the writing. If you take out the parts where the female character is blushing or chewing her lips, the book will be down to about 50 pages. Almost on every single page, there is a whole section devoted to her blushing, chewing her lips or wondering “Jeez” about something or another. Then there’s the use of “shades of”. He’s “fifty shades of @#$%% up,” “she turned 7 shades of crimson,” “he’s ten shades of x,y, and z.” Seriously?

The writing is just not up to par, the characters are unbelievable, and the sex verges on the comical. I don’t know what happens in the remaining books and I do not intend to read them to find out. But given the maturity level of the first book, I imagine that they get married, have 2 perfect children, cure world hunger, and live happily ever after while riding into the sunset, as the female character climaxes on her horse causing her to chew her bottom lip and blush fifty shades of crimson. Jeez!"-meymoon

I laughed at this review i found on amazon. I had no idea what this shit was. Thank god i avoided a travesty.

guitalex2007 · July 14, 2012, 7:07am

Thank you for your contribution.

Dances_with_Ninjas · July 14, 2012, 7:48am

There! Diagonally!

Matriarch · July 14, 2012, 9:15am

Whatever, if this article was about her saucing some guy over his watching porn or whatever, everyone here would still find some way to make it sound like she was crazy or a bitch, or whatever. Maybe jealous of the porn. Call her ugly, fat, what have you. That’s really her point~ if a girl is involved in these situations, she’s going to be the butt of jokes, humor and general disrespect because, trololol, she’s a woman. shrug

It’s SRK, it’s like that because even the mods are like that. Always been like that, and always will because they can’t act like this virtually anywhere else so one can kickback, relax and let it all go and stop pretending to respect the opposite sex. That’s too much of a hassle for some on a 24/7 basis.

This is where some can be honest with themselves. They might as well be honest about it all the time, and not try to claim they’re not douchebags to girls on their free time when nobody is looking. Some of the best posters on the board are the ones who are willing to admit it and don’t give a shit.

Thank you.

This is precisely why I compared this place to a men’s locker room.

Radiantsilvergun3 · July 14, 2012, 9:22am

That’s because it is a Mens locker room and just like in a mens locker room 99% of whats said is for shits and giggles.

Your problem is you take this place and the people who post here way too fucking seriously.

Cryoh · July 14, 2012, 9:27am

"I really don’t like writing bad reviews. I admire people who have the courage to put pen to paper and expose themselves to the whole world, especially those writing erotica. Having just finished this book, however, I feel compelled to write a review.

About half way through the book, I looked up the author to see if she was a teenager. I really did because the characters are out of a 16 year old’s fantasy. The main male character is a billionaire (not a millionaire but a billionaire) who speaks fluent French, is basically a concert level pianist, is a fully trained pilot, is athletic, drop dead gorgeous, tall, built perfectly with an enormous penis, and the best lover on the planet. In addition, he’s not only self made but is using his money to combat world hunger. Oh yeah, and all of this at the ripe old age of 26! And on top of that, he’s never working. Every second is spent having sex or texting and emailing the female character. His billions seem to have just come about by magic. It seriously feels like 2 teenage girls got together and decided to create their “dream man” and came up with Christian Grey.

Then come the sex scenes. The first one is tolerable but as she goes on, they become so unbelievable that it becomes more laughable than erotic. She orgasms at the drop of a hat. He says her name and she orgasms. He simply touches her and she orgasms. It seems that she’s climaxing on every page.

Then there’s the writing. If you take out the parts where the female character is blushing or chewing her lips, the book will be down to about 50 pages. Almost on every single page, there is a whole section devoted to her blushing, chewing her lips or wondering “Jeez” about something or another. Then there’s the use of “shades of”. He’s “fifty shades of @#$%% up,” “she turned 7 shades of crimson,” “he’s ten shades of x,y, and z.” Seriously?

The writing is just not up to par, the characters are unbelievable, and the sex verges on the comical. I don’t know what happens in the remaining books and I do not intend to read them to find out. But given the maturity level of the first book, I imagine that they get married, have 2 perfect children, cure world hunger, and live happily ever after while riding into the sunset, as the female character climaxes on her horse causing her to chew her bottom lip and blush fifty shades of crimson. Jeez!"-meymoon

I laughed at this review i found on amazon. I had no idea what this shit was. Thank god i avoided a travesty.

So…how did this book get popular again? I can’t figure it out.

pedoviejo · July 14, 2012, 9:29am

I’ve had that, but Im to poor to buy that good stuff to eat it every time there is a barbeque or feel like eating one. If I get one for me, I must get enough for everybody.

pedoviejo · July 14, 2012, 9:31am

again, if I buy a fucking steak from a restuarant, how do I have control of how it taste’s other than picking my ass up and paying 50+$ for one plate every time I want to go out and eat steak???

I don’t always have 50$ to waste, and I don’t always have time to make an adequate steak for myself.