I agree with this, and hopefully i wont have to spank mine at all to find out if my views are wrong! thanks for the exchange. Also yes poor choice with the intrinsic thing, I meant ‘usually goes hand in hand’.
Again. I think people just get too deep on some things. Either your gonna spank your kid to set a guideline OR better yet have the good ol’ medical field diagnose them with a bullshyt title an drug em up… yes. i know some kids who are misdiagnosed. that kid dont have ADD… the parent just never did parenting and let the kid not learn focus an behavioral skills…
anyway… i along with plenty others on this site were spanked or ‘butt whoopins’. its the reason we have some sort of respect and understanding of right an wrong in life. ive always noticed the ‘criminals’ that get caught up are quick to say they were ABUSED when they were younger. not real parenting an spankings that just set some boundaries and standards. some of us like myself grew up in a single parent household or better yet if your black like myself you grew up with interchange between grandma an mom. so lessons were enforced an you were TOLD why you got the butt whoopin. grandma didnt just come downstairs an mollywhop you cause they had a bad day or someone said something shitty to them that day… no YOU did something BAD that in LARGE consensus everyone would say you need to be disciplined…hell even deep down you knew it too.
plus i take into account your background/custom/ethics… everyone handles the discipline factor different.
It didn’t sound like he was claiming that, but hitting your kid makes you a shitty parent. Period.
Everything else you said is irrelevant to the actual problem addressed by this discussion.
There are a lot of them in this thread, and it is comical.
This is just so funny to me. It’s like no one even bothers to read the studies. You can elucidate the conclusion that the data has come to as well; allow me to assist you.
If you had a problem with someone, would hitting them solve it? (no). Would hitting them and always talking to them afterwards solve it? (I don’t think they would even want to talk to you). Then why would you teach your children that by hitting them? Why don’t your parents just skip to the explanation step like real adults do in the world? If you want to raise a good adult, treat your children as you wish them to treat others.
Additionally, there are also studies that show punishment is ineffective when compared to other conditioning methods, but that is irrelevant.
No problem.
Vampire saviour, hitting kids does not make you a shitty parents, there are many co factors involved eg violent behaviour between the couple, low time investment for the child, raising your voice (rather than using an affirmative tone) etc.
If a parent talks to their kid in a strong tone (not loudly), if they tell them not to do something when its wrong, if they spend time with them reading books etc. but hits them when theyve just come home from work and he/she does some stupid shit it doesn’t make them a bad parent it makes them human.
They would be better parents if they didn’t hit them but no one is perfect.
I’m a scientist; bow down to me.
OT: concordance across studies can not be “wrong.” Studies show that beating kids produces negative results just like studies show smoking causes cancer.
While there are circumstances, hitting (defenseless) children causes negative affects throughout their life in areas such as intellectual ability… it makes them a shitty parent. You go to jail if you attack someone for a reason.
If you don’t have the time to invest, you should not be raising a child imo.
Apparently if i smoke a cigarette (im not a smoker) i will spontaneously contract cancer. What causes cancer is rapidly multiplying cells because some shit in the cell programming was mutated. Studies show smoking increases the CHANCE of contracting cancer. no?
Just like how if i hit my kid she’ll go into a fit of rage and start chugging down on some beer (my family do not drink).
I see why you’re a scientist now.
I did not make the claim that smoking one cigarette will cause cancer. Take back the straw-man.
Smoking causes cancer: you will eventually get cancer if you are a smoker.
However, if you hit your child once, you can almost guarantee a quick association of displeasing you in any way with receiving unnecessary punishment. If that’s your goal, go ahead. I would rather prevent someone from making another person’s life worse.
I stand by my assertion that people who hit children, especially their own, are shitty parents.
This is what i said in my previous post. I am not all for hitting a child whenever you feel like it, but no one should be labeled a bad parent simply for using it. Many parents abuse it and that is why you end up with all of those problems. Saying there is never a reason to hit your kid is too linear, and doesn’t account for when a sting on the ass or two is actually nescessary. (When they test your authority by challenging how far they can go passed the limit of it with punishments that don’t mean much)
Maybe if a child attacked his/her parents first, but then one would have to ask: where did this child learn this? If it wasn’t from the parents, where did the influence come from? This is also bad parenting (what many others were saying, and I was disregarding). Simply talking back does not warrant an ass whooping. In fact, if a child rationalizes their desires by talking back a parent should be happy. Their child is capable of critical thinking abilities etc. If you talk to them more, eventually they will be wrong, but at least they were able to cogitate, which is what all able people must be able to do (I think there is a study somewhere about this; children who talk back are more likely to be successful).
Instantly labeling people who hit their children as shitty parents is my opinion, but I feel strongly about it since there is evidence that even a little bit may be “too much.”
You don’t want kids to emulate violence then stop putting it in video games faggots.
Is it a bad thing to spank your monkey? Will it become more agressive if I…I mean, if someone keeps spanking it? Will it become mean and ruthless or maybe you could say, hard? Will it spit in random peoples faces for no apparent reason?
Let’s use the original post as an example. Given that OP had a problem with being spat on, does he skip to trying to explain to the kids father that spitting in people’s faces is wrong? Do he call the police whilst the kids father walks off scot-free?
In real life, poor decision making sometimes leads to physical violence. Op was a nosey fuck and the kids father spat in his face. Maybe if OP’s mum spanked him he would have thought twice about mouthing off to a complete stranger for fear of getting knocked out. Maybe OP’s mum didn’t spank him and so he expected the kids father to come at him with words instead.
It’s not a simple issue really.
I am not talking about talking back. I am talking about some next level shit. (Breaking shit on purpose, attacking parents/others, refuse to listen to parents and does not respond to loud voice talking. When a child, which is what i like to call, “catches the devil.”)
There are plenty of other ways to deal with other situations. Just remember that a parent isn’t in complete control of what a child does. “It takes a village to raise a child” does it not? I don’t think that people should dismiss spanking as a whole becuase parents that use it don’t know how to do anything else, which contributes largely to the anxiety and being antisocial. Blaming spanking is too simple. The people that use it, how they use it, their cultural background, and how they treat the child. Spanking is a last resort honestly, i am not sitting here praising that anyone that does it is the best parent ever. But sometimes, when all else fails, what has to be done has to be done.
I agree with you in most respects, but cultural background means jack squat in the face of evidence. You’re right, it takes a community to raise a child; how about making that community a great place to learn good values to start with. My point is, if the parent has influence over their child without beating them, they are doing it correctly. A child learning all of this other stuff can be attributed to mistakes in parenting as well.
EX: popular media (music, video games, movies) alone do not necessarily have to cause violent behavior. Parents do and can influence the child otherwise.
There was a study done where a child witnessed an adult simply smack a bozo doll or whatever it’s called, and the child began to take all sorts of weapons and hit the doll in the adult’s absence. Adults influence children. I will show it to you when I have time.
That guy is an asshole who is ruining his kids’ life. The spitting in the face is just a testament to that. Simple.
OP did the right thing; social feedback is an indispensable function of human society. If you’re doing something that is wrong, someone will point it out.
I wonder how many of the naysayers here actually have kids…
/Mango
So smoking doesn’t cause cancer, smoking over a long period of time causes cancer. So why didn’t you say this, maybe because it doesn’t fit your agenda? Hitting your child once doesn’t cause them to become more agressive etc as your post suggests, hitting them consistently is what causes this. No study (from what i’ve seen) has shown this.
If your child hits someone else what will you do? How will you show them that pain is a bad thing to inflict on another person? They can’t experience pain without you hitting them. I’m genuinely interested in what you have to say on this.
In theory, there are four types of people in this thread:
A. people with kids who oppose corporal punishment
B. people with kids who support corporal punishment
C. people without kids who oppose corporal punishment, and
D. people without kids who support corporal punishment.
A lot of people are taking group C to task for voicing an opinion in spite of not having kids. Strangely, not so much for group D, even if the objection should theoretically be exactly the same.
Well said.
group c & d need to GTFO of this thread