Or the very first Smurf’s cereal…the red and blue one, not that lame smurfberry crunch shit that came after it. Thanks to that cereal, I, and many kids across america were united in the first “green (bowel) movement” to sweep america, some 20 years before the environmental whackos started pushing the current alarmist hoax.
If you knew how to defecate properly you wouldn’t have to wipe.
In the ‘rare’ occasion that you are fat down there, then one or two sheets of ply would easily suffice.
I wipe Nando-style; full frontin’.
Hell yeah, i discovered this almost 8 years ago…I was wiping my daughters ass & i was wondering if it was any different…Damn my asshole never felt cleaner…
Also remember back in the days, when you’re taking a shit you would read like shampoo bottles…Fucking spoiled kids got their portable game devices & phone this day and age…
Sheeeeit,
The old thread on this topic was a classic. No change for me… front to back, but also a downward swipe. I don’t consider the downward wipe a true “back to front” though. Whatever the case, I wonder how many people are satisfied with JUST the wiping? That’s not really enough, imo. Get some soap & water and/or baby wipes going on back there too…a stank booty-hole isn’t a good situation in anyone’s playbook.
On a sidenote… I had one hell of an ordeal on the throne the other day. Constipation is not a good time. I went all out on defensive tactics and immediately bought apple juice, smoothies…and a very powerful trump card… the PRUNE JUICE. I’m ready this time.
I get some dumb white chick to rub a strap on on my crack to get the shit out. Then I pour some ranch on my johnson and get her to lick it off afterwards.
Ten years on this website and this thread has happened so many times I lost count.
the “did u ever shit on urself” thread from 04/05 was CLASSIC!I’ll never forget the dad who took his son to blockbuster,and took a shit on himself at the register then he felt it going down his leg and kicked it underneath the table.I was in tears from that thread
why wipe just jump in the shower and take a shower and watch your creation flow down between your legs
#shitswag
This is why you wash you goddamn hands everywhere you go…You never know when you’ll come into contact (or something they came into contact with) with some gross ass people like in this thread.
Wash your damn hands after using the bathroom. P.E.R.I.O.D.
I wash mine in the toilet before I flush. No sense wasting additional water in the sink.
</innovation>
Nice tip PurpleBunny! Also an easier way to clean off the poop that gets stuck on toilet is to use your pee…So when you take a shit, dont pee until your done…
PRO TIP: Rip a piece of toilet paper about 6 sheets in length. Fold in half so it’s a double layer of 3 sheets if that makes sense. Reach around and wipe from bottom to top, scrunching to cover the poop on the sheet and repeating 1-2 times. You wipe up so shit doesn’t get on your GOOCH! Also, after your done wiping your ass, PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DO NOT TOUCH ANYTHING ELSE WITH THE HAND YOU WIPED YOUR ASS WITH! It’s just sick, just use your other hand to pull your pants up, flush, squeeze soap on your hand, turn on faucet, etc. Just don’t touch anything else with your wipe-hand until it’s WASHED. Please and thank you.
haha you can tell who’s new and who isn’t from the replies.
I use these target wipes that work really well, they have like little bumps, like minature bubbles wrap things that do the job very well
I dn’t recommend the wipes w/ design and shyt on the cuz while moist, they do not do much…
Tier list?
PS… couldn’t find the clip from the Simpsons
but
they are making budget cuts and marge tell the family they have to switch from quality toliet paper to the cheap stuff
Bart gets ups and punches a hole in the wall, Lmfao
We should make this topic on the Gaiaonline forums and see what there feed backs gotta say.
[spoiler=]JUST KIDDINGGGGGG… nugh…[/spoiler]
I remember this same thread from about 4 (or 5) years ago. The general consensus was “Who the reaches under their balls to wipe?”
While this sounds like a great idea, using soap and water on your asshole removes the natural oils that keep your ass from chafing and prevent infection. I’m not saying that you should stop cleaning your asshole. I’m just saying, don’t get too vigorous.
i wipe until i see blood…
This reminds me of the time I was at my buddy’s house and we invited over this new arabic kid who wasn’t very well off, he took a shit in the bathroom and came upstairs with all the shit covered toilet paper in his fists and goes “You don’t have a garbage in the bathroom, what do I do with this?”…
I can’t help but cry from laughter every time I think of that story.