I hope I don’t get killed for posting this…
So, I’ve got some thoughts:
I like the idea of yelling “OMG THE MERITOCRACY, WHY CANT I JUST BE AN EQUAL!” the next time I’m not doing well at a tournament and I hear people snickering behind me. In fact, I may even yell it whether or not there’s anyone watching, just to preemptively stop any sort of snickering. Seriously though, that cracked me up.
In terms of treating others (strangers) in a certain way because that’s how you treat your friends… not a good idea usually. I act a certain way when hanging out with friends at my house or somewhere else that’s private, and I may say certain things, but I would think twice about behaving that way with them in public or with strangers that way. I mean, you have every right to behave as silly as you want with friends, but if you behave in public that way, you’re free to be judged as being a bunch of idiots by people with different sensibilities. It’s like how when I take the train after high school kids get out of school and they all behave like idiots. They speak loudly, they yell, they squeeze through people without saying “excuse me”, they curse with little kids around, etc. Everyone on the train shakes their heads thinking to themselves, “fucking kids”. The kids meanwhile, are oblivious. This is how they act with their friends, why should they have to conduct themselves properly in front of all these strangers on the train? It’s the same at a fighting game event. This isn’t a private place for you to behave however you want, it’s public. I mean, some people at these events ultimately do end up behaving however they want, some of them very obnoxiously. But if you behave that way in public, you’re going to be judged in a certain light.
And to those suggesting that if Aris had treated her differently, as opposed to the way he may treat his friends which includes inappropriate jokes, then that would have been sexist… that’s just downright stupid. Maybe I’m missing something, but I don’t see how you could treat or speak to a stranger the same way you speak to your best pal. You can say something racist to a good friend and your friend will know you’re just being stupid and laugh with you and not take it serious. You say something racist to a stranger, guess what, you are a racist. Or at least that’s what the stranger is going to think. I talk so much shit with my friends when I play with them, but I wouldn’t think of doing that with a stranger because I have no way of knowing how they’ll react. And if you want to treat a stranger the same way you treat your friends, fine, but don’t be surprised when they react defensively or when you’re viewed in a certain light because of the way you treat them (since they don’t know you).
I don’t think we are a sexist community. I think… the sexist question is more complicated than that. Firstly, any examples of online play or chat need to be thrown out the window. If I judged humanity based on what I see online then humanity is unsalvageable. Sometimes I wonder if what is seen as sexist is really just socially awkward interaction. I read about half of that woman’s article, and in one part she talks about how a guy sat to play with her and asked if he should “take it easy” on her. They then went on to have a few more awkward exchanges as they played. So assuming this story is true, I wondered if he was trying to be friendly but wasn’t quite sure how to speak to her. Some of the people in the community are awkward around females, some just don’t have much experience around females. I remember seeing an interview of Gilty (I think that’s how she spells it) with SkiSonic, and he looked very nervous and awkward. I am going to guess that a fair number of the people at events get awkward and nervous around females because of their lack of experience or familiarity being around females. I could easily picture my high school self going up to a female gamer and asking jokingly and teasingly (in a non malicious manner) if I should take it easy on her, and I would hope her reaction would be something along the lines of her teasing back with “You should be concerned with me not taking it easy on you”. We would then make out and get married and have kids and live happily ever after. Older me knows that if I approach a female gamer with that line, and if she has a defensive mindset, she may see it as me being condescending.
The author also pointed out that when she walked in, she felt all the eyes on her because she was this random female walking into a room full of males. She went on to feel uncomfortable as she walked around and was nervous to prove herself. The uncomfortable feeling and nervousness happens to everyone, male or female, so I don’t know where she was going with that. She told a story of how someone was playing repeatedly, and she couldn’t play next unless she actually said next. Again, this is common, you have to be a little pushy at times to play next. Her point of walking into the room and feeling all eyes on her because she is female, that might actually be true but it’s to be expected. I mean, if I walk into Sephora to buy a lotion I really like for my hands, I’m going to draw some attention from the females. It’s to be expected. Doesn’t mean they’re sexist in Sephora, but they will be surprised to see a sole straight male in their midst buying something for himself and not his girlfriend. If one of the women inside were to point at a lipstick and say “That shade would look good on you”, I would laugh and respond with something witty and we would then make out and get married and have kids and live happily ever after. Of course, if I walked in with a defensive mindset, I would see everyone looking at me and think, “Why is everyone looking at me, cuz I’m a guy?!”. And then when the female made the lipstick comment I would yell " OMG THE MERITOCRACY, WHY CANT I JUST BE AN EQUAL!".
So, I mean, there’s so much that goes into the issue of sexism that I think it’s important to not simplify it. I’m sure there are some sexist individuals, and I’m sure there are some awkward individuals, and I’m sure there are some female gamers who approach with a defensive mindset, and I’m sure there are plenty of other things I haven’t spoken about. If anything I think the problem may be tied more to immaturity within the fgc than sexism, and the immaturity extends beyond the issue of sexism. There’s the immaturity of those who think it’s ok to treat strangers a certain way because that’s “arcade culture” without a thought of how it makes the other person feel (I’m picturing CORN in this instance), the way a T.O. may treat a player, or a player treats a T.O., or how T.O.'s treat each other sometimes. I mean, I’m sure all of you can come up with instances of immaturity in the fgc (some of the comments here strike me as immature. How can you think it’s ok to treat a stranger the same way you treat your friend? And how can you say it would be sexist to behave otherwise?).
But to focus on all that ignores all the good in the fgc. The fgc has made efforts to include its female player base. The most obvious example was the female only event at EVO a few years ago. I have seen some local events offer free entry to female gamers (please don’t argue that this is an example of reverse sexism). And to focus on the immaturity in the fgc is also a bad idea. In my time in the fgc and going to events (whenever I can go, which isn’t as often as I would like), I’ve seen far more good and heard far more good than I have bad. Of course, there may be some bad apples, but that issue exists everywhere.
What really bothered me, and I think everyone here, about the video is how little actual research seemed to go into it. This feels like an example of taking the data you want to take to create the argument you want to make, and ignoring everything else. I think they would have learned a lot more by simply going up to people at fgc events and speaking to them.