What animal should you never play poker with?
You don’t play poker with a cheetah.
If I could pull a Will Gotti here and tell a joke that is neither cheesy nor funny…I must, because for some irrational reason I laughed at this, 8 years ago, made up by my younger cousin:
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Blood.
Blood who?
Blood on your face.
Yo SRK?
What does DNA stand for?
National Dyslexics Association.
A Pirate walks into a bar and everyone notices he has a steering wheel in his pants. Someone says, “Hey, you know you have a steering wheel in your pants?”
He says, “ARR!! It’s been drivin’ me nuts!!!”
What do you call a seagull that flys over a bay?
A BAY-gull! hardy har har.
Does a deer have a little doe?
Yea, 2 bucks!
WOAH, three stooges.
well played sir. :woot:
Why do emo kids wear such trendy clothes?
Cuz they’re on the cutting edge.
A mushroom walks into a bar. The bartender says: “HEY GET OUT OF HERE!! WE DON’T SERVE YOUR KIND HERE!!”
The Mushroom looks at him and says… “Why not? I’m a fun guy!!”
GET IT FUNGI, FUN GUY?!??!?!? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Why do beans like sitting on top of each other in a pod?
Because they’re lesbeans!
So this guy named Pete was infront of his big yard, mowing grass, until he found his male neighbor, Bob, who came out of his house and went straight to the mailbox. Bob opened it, found nothing inside, and went back in his house.
A little while later Bob came out of his house again, went to the mail box, and again opened it and slammed it shut again. Angrily, he stomped back into the house.
As Pete was getting ready to head back inside his own house, Bob comes out again, goes to his mailbox, opens it and then slams it shut harder than ever.
Pete asked his neighbor “What’s the matter?”
Bob replied “My stupid computer keeps saying, YOU’VE GOT MAIL.”
Why does Beyonce sing that song “to left to the left?”
Because black people don’t have any rights.
…that’s a good one. 
What’s that supposed to mean? I don’t want to be judgemental like some of these son of a bitches in here.
you kind of have to read this out loud, but:
what do you call a fish with four eyes?
pause
a fiiiish.
what’s worse than a half eaten sandwich?
the holocaust.
This joke always bothered the anal side of me, because fungi is plural. One mushroom is a fungus. It takes more to be fungi, so it can’t be A fungi. fungis is not a word.
What do you say when you wake up in the middle of the night and see your TV floating in the air?
Nigga put down my TV!
What did one statue say to the other statue?
Is statue?
Three guys on a deserted island come across this genie in a magic bottle. The genie pops out and says I’ll grant each one of you one wish. The first guy says, “Genie I wish I was the strongest man in the world so I could just swim home.” Poof, the guy becomes super buff and swims back home. The second guy says, “Genie I wish I was the smartest guy in the world so I could just think of a way to get back home.” Poof, the guy becomes super smart, builds a boat and sails off. The third guy figures that the other two guys will send him help back so he says “Genie I wish you would made my dick so long that it would touch the ground.” Poof, the genie cuts off the guys legs.
:lol:
man i’ve spread so much rep in this thread
keep it up guys :tup: