So these two midgets walked into this huge lady, all walking around in her lower intestines and shit.
Read the following sentence in context:
I’m fucking a guy that swears at inopportune moments.
What do you call a dear with no eyes?
No eyedear.
What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs?
Still no eyedear.
What do you call a deer with no eyes, no legs, and no penis?
Still no fucking eyedear.
what did the green grape tell the purple grape?
“breath bitch!”
A man goes to watch football every Saturday and always asks his wife to go too. She refuses every time so this time he gives her an ultimatum - “come with me or drop your panties and take it up the ass or suck my dick” She proceeds to start giving him a blowjob but pulls away after a few seconds. “URRRGGHHHH your dick tastes like shit!” “I know” he says, “your mother didn’t want to come either…”
Actually, your joke was very poorly written. I got it after a while, but it took much longer than it should have.
What?
Now, let’s try re-writing it, using the magic of good grammar.
No, you didn’t get it. :lol: You fixed it wrong.
Either way, it makes little sense and isn’t funny.
what do u get cross sir elton john with a sabretooth tiger?
i don’t know, but you better keep it away from your ass!!
/TIM & ERIC
did the alligator turn into a designer accessory or something? i’m slow.
How did the zombie lose weight?
He went on a diet.
What did the big boot say to the little loafer when he was being annoying?
Shoo!
My god…that was horrendous. 
Sep you can kiss my black naked ass puto, you know my grammar is better than most people here. You got it so that’s all that matters. I’m trying to see how it was poorly written, but I really can’t.
Fine I’ll explain a joke which shouldn’t have to be explained. Ok you have (can’t say “got” or it’ll be seen as bad grammar) two anthropomorphic animals, a female gator and a male croc. The gator is leaving the bar and the croc says “see you later alligator” like saying “see you later woman”. The gator turns around and says that she has a name because it’s not “alligator”. Being a smartass she says “after awhile Fred” instead of after awhile crocodile. It’s rather dry humor.
Gimme break I thought this was a cheesy joke thread. I don’t get certain jokes myself.
What’s Irish and sits outside
Paddy 'O Furniture
What did the penis say to the condom?
“cover me im going in”
What did the dick say to the vagina?
“bitch u ain’t tight”
What did the vagina say back to the dick?
“nigga u ain’t hard!”
What did the tampon say to the bleeding vagina?
“wat up bloooooooddddd” (gangster joke)
A gang of rowdy peanuts enter a bar. The bartender says “what you have?” the peanuts respond with a leer and proceed to trash the place. They destroy everything and take others lives, they approach to the only survivor the bartender. “Are you guys nuts?!” the peanuts reply “Yes, we are nuts! Now die!”
Why are black people so tall?
Because their NE-GROES!
bahahahahha
This one also requires knowledge of another language, specifically spanish.
I went to the market one day with my dad holding a list my mom wrote out. The list was in english and spanish. We got all the items except for the very last one that said simply “Wines”. I tell him that mom wants booze, but he acts pretty skeptical about it. I go “Hey, just look at the list.” So he does and afterwards he shoots me a very matter of fact look with the slightest hint pissed offedness. He then says very loudly
“Wii-NESS!”
The spanish word for hot dogs.
I like it a lot better after that explanation.
^Good to hear.
How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One but he’s never around when you need him.
Two sperm are swimming. One asks the other, “how far is it to the ovaries?” The other says “relax we just passed the tonsils.”
How do you get a blonde dizzy?
Put her in a circular room and tell her to go to the corner.
I’ve got some to share.
What’s the heaviest soup? WONTON soup!
How do you turn soup gold? You put in twenty four carrots!
If I remember something other than soup jokes, I’ll post them.