Q: Why does Miss Piggy douche with honey and vinegar?
A: Because Kermit likes to eat sweet and sour pork.
Jesus loves you.
Great to hear in a church, not so great in a Mexican prison.
Well played sir, well played.
What did the fish stick say to his son
[details=Spoiler]“Luke, I am your tartar”
Why was the Chinese guy late to the college party?
Spoiler
He had a frat tire
What do you call a Japanese woman with no money?
Spoiler
Broko Ono
what you call 4 mexicans in the ocean?
Spoiler
Quatro Sinco
What you call charlie sheen on a skateboard?
Spoiler
Roll-Aids
Hi, my name is Jesus, and I love you all, but when I masturbate I poke through my hands.
^ that’s fucked up
I don’t know about you, but I would be sad if my penis was so small it DOESN’T poke through my hand.
You win. I’m dead. Skeletroll killed me.
A teacher is teaching a class and she sees that Johnny isn’t paying attention, so she asks him, “If there are three ducks sitting on a fence, and you shoot one, how many are left?” Johnny says, “None.” The teacher asks, “Why?” Johnny says, “Because the shot scared them all off.” The teacher says, “No, two, but I like how you’re thinking.” Johnny asks the teacher, “If you see three women walking out of an ice cream parlor, one is licking her ice cream, one is sucking her ice cream, and one is biting her ice cream, which one is married?” The teacher says, “The one sucking her ice cream.” Johnny says, “No, the one with the wedding ring, but I like how you’re thinking!”
Q: Who are the fastest readers?
A: 9/11 victims, they went through about 100 stories in 5 seconds.
Q: What’s the hardest part about breaking up with a Japanese girl?
A: You have to drop the bomb twice before she gets the message.
I heard during the earthquake/tsunami that hit Japan in 2011 that they lost all power and electricity…curiously enough though when I was watching it on the news it appeared that there was plenty of current in the towns.
LOL!!!
Did you hear that Kurt Kobain had dandruff?
They found his head and shoulders behind the couch.
What was going through Kurt Kobain’s head when he killed himself?
Buckshot (you can also replace Kurt Kobain with Princess Di and Buckshot with Steering Wheel)
bwa ha ha ha
I was in Japan during the Earthquake, having sex. Girl told me she has never been more wet, and I rocked her world. Bitch made me sleep on the wet spot.
Q: What’s the best part about fucking 28 year olds?
A: There’s 20 of them.
So I’m having sex with my girlfriend and in the middle of it she calls me a pedophile. I look at her and say “Pedophile huh?..awfully big word for a 9 year old.”
In all seriousness though, the hardest part about being a pedophile is trying to fit in.
what’s the best part about fucking an 8 year old girl?
flipping her over and pretending she’s an 8 year old boy
Spoiler
Hearing her hip snap.
Why are gay men bad at everything they do?
Because they are experts at sucking.
the only thing sucking is you and your terrible attempts at jokes
Oh well I tried…
