Some? Sure. All of them? Maybe not…
Guy and a kid are walking through the woods at night through a thunderstorm. In the midst of the crashing thunder, lightning, and rain the kid tells the guy he’s scared. The man looks at the kid and says “You’re scared, I have to walk home alone tonight.”
nah i read them all xcept the super cheesy ones. they were uncomfortable at the pedo ones and wondered why i was laughing so much
A new teacher was trying to make her students feel good about themselves. She started her class by saying, “Everyone who thinks they’re stupid, stand up!” After a few seconds, Little Johnny stood up. The teacher said, “Do you think you’re stupid, Little Johnny?” “No, ma’am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!”
Q: What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?
A: Wiped his ass.
Buckwheat is in class and the teacher asks him to spell “dictate”. So Buckwheat says, "Otay! D-I-C-T-A-T-E!"
The teacher says, “Very good Buckwheat! Now, can you use it in a sentence?”
And Buckwheat says, “Sure I tan! My dirlfriend say my dictate real duhd!”
Canadian humour
Why don’t middle eastern people play hockey?
Every time they go into the corner, they open a 7-11
Why don’t lepers play hockey?
Every time they fight, there is a face off.
I used to be a necrophiliac, until some rotten cun* split on me.
A brand new store has just opened in New York City that sells Husbands. When women go to choose a husband, they have to follow the instructions at the entrance:
“You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are 6 floors and the value of the products increase as you ascend the flights. You may choose any item from a particular floor or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you CANNOT go back down except to exit the building!”
So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband.
The 1st floor sign reads: Floor 1 - These men have jobs.
The 2nd floor sign reads: Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.
The 3rd floor sign reads: Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids and are extremely good looking.
“Wow,” she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.
She goes to the 4th floor and The sign reads: Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help with Housework.
“Oh, mercy me!” she exclaims, “I can hardly stand it!” Still, she goes to the 5th floor and The sign reads: Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, help with Housework and Have A Strong Romantic Streak.
She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the 6th floor and the sign reads:
Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.
i would be a 3rd floor nigga tbh
I’m in the basement, hogging all the fatties
What’s worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm?
Spoiler
The Holocaust
So I ran into Hitler the other day. He told me he was going to kill 6 million Jews and 2 clowns. I asked why 2 clowns? He told me “You see, nobody cares about the Jews!”
I remember hearing that one from a radio personality who comes on in the morning down here in Atlanta. Older white guy judging by the sound of his voice. Talks about politics and world news.
I heard that joke back in '98 but wasnt as convoluted. Still made the same point though. Bitches. Cant live with them, cant live without them.
What’s green, has four legs, and if it jumped out of a tree and landed on you would kill you?
Spoiler
A pool table
Whas long hard and women love putting it inside themselves?
[details=Spoiler]a penis
@chadouken! @NickRocks This better not become a trend. Like those aren’t even jokes. Those are statements…
What’s brown and sticky?
Spoiler
A stick
What’s green and smells like pork?
Spoiler
Kermit’s fingers