Mommy, mommy!
WHAT?!
Why are we pushing the car off the cliff?
SHH! Shut up son or you’ll wake your father!
Mommy, mommy!
WHAT?!
What am I gonna be when I grow up?
Nothing, dear. Because you have AIDS!
Mommy, mommy!
WHAT?!
Why is daddy bent over and crying?
SHADDUP and eat your hot dog!!
Q:How do u teach a Mexican to swim?
A: Put a fence in front of the pool.
Three guys are sitting in a boat in the middle of the ocean and they have four cigarettes, but nothing to light them with. So they throw one cigarette overboard and the whole boat becomes a cigarette lighter.
Fancy white couple has costume theme party.
First guests show up dressed in pink feathers, they proclaim they are tickled pink.
Second guests show with an N and a V on their green shirts and proclaim they are green with envy.
Third set of guests show up, 2 naked black guys. One has his dick in a bowl of pudding, the other has a pear on his dick. White couple asks what they are supposed to be. First dude says he’s “fuckin dis-custard” second one says “I’s in dis-pear”
Jewish kid asks his dad to borrow fifty bucks.
Dad says, “Forty bucks? What do you need thirty bucks for?”
Ozzy Osbourne once bit the head off a bat. So not to be outdone, Chuck Norris bit the head off of Batman.
Two women are at the zoo discussing gossip when they get mauled to death by a lion who jumps out the enclosure. The media comes everyones wondering why the animal killed the women. The lion holds a press conference and says he was acted out of rage when he heard a racial slur. The crowd was confused.
The women had said they were tired of lyin ass niggas
Q: Why are Asians afraid to go skiing?
A: They heard the Americans were gonna hit the slopes.
A pedophile, a priest, and a child molester walks in to a bar. [details=Spoiler]And that’s just the first guy.[/details]
how do you speak chinese?
throw some coins down some metal stairs
How many black guys does it take to start a riot?
-1
booooooo I always heard it as “how do chinese name their kids? throw some pots and pans down the stairs CHING CHANG BONG”
I fucked some homeless girl last night, afterwards she asked me to take her home.
So I grabbed her cardboard box and ran away with it
I always heard they throw their wok down the stairs.
Why do all polish names end with -ski?
Because they can’t spell toboggan.
What did George Washington say to his men before they got on their horses?
men get on your horses
so a man walks into a bar…
…and hurt his head
Helen Keller walks into a bar…
…then she walks into a table, and then she walks into the wall.
A midget that can talk to dead people escaped from jail.
The call went out for a small medium at large.
Why cant Pinnochio’s nose be 12 inches long?
Because then it would be a foot.
So this guy with premature ejaculation comes out of nowhere…
:how_interesting: