Giraffe walks into a bar and says,
“Whats up, everybody. High balls, on me!”
A termite walks into a bar, and says: “is the bar tender here?”
How do you get an elephant up a tree?
Answer
Spoiler
Put it on an acorn, and wait for it to grow
How do you get an elephant down a tree?
Answer
Spoiler
Make it stand on a leaf and wait for Autumn
How do you hide an elephant in custard?
Answer
Spoiler
Put it upside down and paint its feet yellow!
Ever seen an elephant in a custard?
Answer
Spoiler
No? Then the disguise worked!
So two guys walk into a bar
Answer
Spoiler
The second guy should have learned.
what’s brown and sticky?
a stick
What’s green and fluffy?
Green fluff.
What’s pink and fluffy?
Green fluff in disguise.
My neck fucking hurts! lol
… if that shit works…:shake:
good shit. Who ever posted that “what did the math book say to the science book” joke, that actually had me laughing pretty hard. lol good stuff srk.
How do you circumcise a red neck?? Kick his sister in the jaw.
how do you kill a purple elephant?
shoot it with a gun to kill purple elephants.
how to you kill a pink elephant?
.
.
.
choke it until it turns purple, then you shoot it with a gun to kill purple elephants.
Did you guys ever hear the story about the broken pencil? You probably wouldn’t want to, it’s pointless.
A guy walks into a costume party wearing only pants. One dude asks him, “What are you dressed up as?”
The guy says, “Premature ejaculation. I just came in my pants.”
What’s Bruce Lee’s favorite meal?
WHOPPPA!
What did the Mexican say to the cheese thief?
NACHO CHEESE!
Why do Mexicans always cross the border two at a time?
Cause the sign says “no Tres-passing”
A priest, a rabbi, a monk, a dentist, a child, and a woman senator walk into a bar. The bartender looks up and says, “What is this? Some kind of joke?”
I think I hit the jackpot with this thread.
What kind of lettuce did they serve on the Titanic?
*Iceberg.
*
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
Why don’t blind people like to sky dive?
Because it scares the hell out of the dog.
So this rope walks into a bar. The bartender yells, “Get out of here! We don’t serve ropes in this establishment!”
So the rope slinks outside and thinks for a moment. He then curls himself into a loop and tassels out both of his ends.
Upon reentering the bar, the bartender looks at him and says, “Hey! Ain’t you that rope I just threw out of here?”
And the rope replies, “No sir. I’m a frayed knot.”
This has brighten my day…Thanks
Q: What do you call a guy with no arms no leg in a swimming pool?
A: Bob
Q: What do you call a dog with no arms no leg in a swimming pool?
A: Bob Barker
What do you call a line of warriors running away from a warlock?
A DOTTED LINE!
This thread is fucking killing me.
What do you call a person from Boston?
Bizah.
What do you call a person from Boston who’s on crutches?
Retahded.
What do you say to a homeless person pushing a shopping cart down the street.
Moving?
So a baby seal walks into a club…
Cheesy grammar joke
A girl walked into a bar and asked the bartender for a entendre. He asks “Sure, would you like a single or double?” She says double and he smiles and replies “You’d like a large one, wouldn’t you?”
I got jokes n jokes n jokes n jokes n jokes.
What’s the square root of this apartment?