I’m using that one. I’ll shout out props afterwards.
I don’t get it Either…
I heard this one from some drunk guy on XBL screaming it into his mic.
During dinner my wife said to me “I think you might be a pedophile.” I replyed “pedophile? That’s a pretty big word for an 8 year old.”
I got a few.
Whats the difference between a blonde and a misquito? The mosquito stops sucking once you slap it.
Judge said kindly to the witness: "You look disstressed. Is anything the matter?"
The witness replies “Judge, I swore to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. But everytime I try to explain, some lawyer objects”.
A man is out walking in New York when he sees a girl being savaged by a fierce dog. He fights off the dog by beating about the head with a stick and saves the girl’s life.
The girl’s mother rushes over to him: “Thank you, thank you, you are a hero, tomorrow all the newspapers will have headlines about Brave New Yorker Saves the Life of Young Girl”
“But I’m not a New Yorker,” the man says.
“Oh, then it will say in all the newspapers Brave American Saves Life of Young Girl,” says the mother.
“But I’m not an American,” the man says.
“What are you then?” asks the mother.
“I’m an Iranian,” the man says.
The next day he sees the newspaper headlines:
Islamic Extremist Kills American Dog.
People either get this the 1st time or they dont get it at all. Ill explain it for you, k?
Think about it, how is she realistically going to sing a song with a mouth full of meat? All the holes in her face are taken up… execpt for the one she just vacated.
Anyway, heres another…Hopefully you lot will get this one:
Two men were out playing golf on a nice Saturday afternoon.
They were getting frustrated, though, because the two women who were playing right in front of them were quite slow, and were holding up the men’s game.
“Don’t they know their supposed to let us play through?!” asked the first man.
The other man shook his head. “I’m going to go ask them if we can play through,” said the first man, emphatically, “Enough is enough!”
He started walking over toward the women, but as he got close, he suddenly turned around and came back, white as a ghost.
“Oh God,” he said to his friend, “This is awful. You’re going to have to ask those women if we can play through. You see, one of them is my wife, and the other is my mistress!”
The other man shrugged, and said “No sweat.”
He walked over toward the women, and just as he was getting close, turned around and came running back to his pal. His eyes wide open, he said - “Small world isn’t it!”
What’s black and white, black and white, black and white and black and white?
A nun rolling downhill O___o
I got a killer joke. Its just in good fun and not meant to be offending.
The Chinese man comes home late after a night out with his friends, and slips into bed next to his sleeping wife. Being in a good mood, he wakes her up and asks "Hey, do you want to do 69?"
The wife responds “You have got some nerve. You come home late, stink of alcohol, wake me up, and expect me to make you a rice with beef, onions and extra spicy hot sauce?!”
Maybe “rocks” means “balls” in British slang ?
This is humerous in itself! I think ill let you lot carry on…:badboy:
What do you get when you cross an elephant with a skateboard?
(elephant)(skateboard) sin(theta)
An Italian man walks into a bar orders a Stoli with a twist from the Chinese bartender. The Chinese bartender says, “Once upon a time, there was a man named Cinderella…”
I have exactly one dumb joke.
What do you do with a dog with no legs??
-ac
you take it for a drag.
that always makes me giggle a little.
Not only was that REEEEALLY cheesy it looses whatever luster it would have because you have to read it twice before you realize wtf is going on… Lastly the cross product uses sine not cosine.
It’s not cheesy jokes, but cheesy pickup lines. They work the same since they’re lame and you get a chuckle out of them.
Hey girl, let’s you and me do some math. Add a bed. Subtract our clothes. Divide your legs. Then multiply.
Girl, if you were any enzyme, you’d be DNA polymerase because you elongate my strand.
If I cculd be any enzyme, I’d be DNA helicase so I can unzip your genes.
Haha, too advanced for my blood.
how to make a baby:
- get baby powder
- add water
Shit, my bad on the cos(theta)…I’ve had this argument (sin or cos) so many times that I guess I got confused on it.
You’re right about the luster, it’s better when it’s said out loud I think. It makes me chuckle, and that’s all that matters. :bgrin:
A Chinese person would not mix up his ‘l’ and ‘r’ laterals, since Chinese has both phonemes in its alphabet. Instead, Chinese would mix up soft ‘w’ and soft ‘v.’ Japanese is the language without ‘l.’
Anyway, what did Ryu say to Ken when Ken asked to borrow his lawnmower?
“No. You can afford your own.”
What did Cam’s mom say to the pool boy?
“My hair is black so why do you keep asking if I am a natural blonde?”
you hear kermit the frog died?
yeah, he was eating miss piggy out and caught a bad case of the swine flu…
Know the difference between a dick and a drumstick?
no?
Wanna go on a picnic?
LAME 
sorry.