Yo mama’s so skinny she turned to the side and disappeared.
Yo mama’s so fat, Columbus proclaimed her The New World! :woot:
Nice! Finally, back to the cheese.
What did Delaware?
She wore a brand New Jersey!
“Yo, I heard Superman used to be a blood.”
“Yeah, well he’s a crip tonight!”
this one involves the knee-grow joke…
first you ask a friend: why are black guys so tall?
friend says: uhm i dunno why?..
you say: because their knee-grows…
friend: erupts in amazing laughter…
six months down the line…ask him the same joke…
you: hey why are black guys so tall?..
friend: i know i know…cause their knee-grows…!!..(he is proud of himself and does a couple of double fist pumps)
…so you look at him with a annoyed straight face…and a serious look…
you: i’m pretty sure it’s genetics…
hmm…okay it makes sense when i do it in real life…i feel like a failure right now…
Ok, i got a lil something to add myself. Dunno if this one was ever made before, but i kinda made it up during a class i had in a computer lab after my computer wasn’t working…other than that, i can’t recall the events afterwards which led up to this joke @_@
Yo mama is so ugly that she can’t even turn on her computer >.<
A man, bored with his less than average sex life, decides to search the planet for the worlds best Blow-Job.
He ends up in a seedy bar in London’s Soho and, really frustrated, yells at the top of his voice, “I’ve searched high and low for the world’s best Blow-Job, can anyone help me?!”
A pimp looks up and replies, “I have a girl who can give the worlds best Blow-Job AND sing God Save Our Gracious Queen at the same time.” The frustrated punter was instantly interested, gladly paid the 50 asking price and followed the pimp to where his girl stayed.
On arival, the pimp told his girl to give the punter ‘the special’ and left the two alone, where she turned out the lights and started singing - “God Save Our Gracious Queen, God Save Our Gracious Queen.” It was the single most mind blowing experience ever and the punter vowed to relive this experience soon.
The next night, he met the guy again, in the same bar, and practically begged him to take him to see that girl again, which the pimp did, but not before upping the price to 150.
On arrival, the same thing happened. The lights went out and the girl started singing, while blowing him off. This time was even better than the first, and left the punter feeling empty and hungry for more.
The next morning, he stumbled on the idea of finding out just how the girl performed this amazing feat, with a view to teaching his wife, who was severely lacking in skills. So…
He met the pimp, gave him 350, the pimp took him to meet the girl, instructed her to give the punter ‘the special’ and then left the two alone. The lights went out and the girl started singing… Half way through the song, he turns on the light…
and sees a GLASS EYE on the table…
:looney:
A man with excessive flatulence goes to a party. There’s tons of food there so he figures why not. He starts eating and the food is great.
Pretty soon, though, he starts to feel bloated; he’s got to let go of a huge one!
He looks around and sees a dog and thinks to himself, “If I fart near where that dog is, everyone is going to think the dog farted and not me!”
So, near the dog he lets it go pretty loud. Everyone stops and looks at where he and the dog are. The owner of the dog shouts, “Ralph!!” After the attention subsides, the man assures himself, “No one suspects it was me.”
He starts eating again, and yet again, he feels the urge to relieve himself. He goes to where the dog is and catapults another. “Ralph!!” says the owner. “What fools!” the man thinks.
In supreme confidence, he begins stuffing himself with food. This time, it’s going to break a record! He goes to where the dog is again and lets it go with the utmost ferocity. The owner then says, “Ralph! Get away from that guy before he SHITS on you!!”
I don’t know if this one has already been told in this thread…but it made but I laughed so hard on this one today in class.
It’s 2 gays playing hide-n-seek. One of them says to the other “If you find me…you can DO anything to me.” "But if you can’t find me…
I’m in the closet."
so cheesy.
This.
What do you call a vegetarian with diarrhea?
Salad shooter
lol!!!
Hope someone gets my nerd joke.
Werner Heisenberg was doing 110 on a 80 km/h road. Two cops see him speeding, and they pull him over. One of the officers walks up to the Heisenberg and says: “Sir, do you know how fast you were going back there?”
He replies: “I don’t know, sir, but I know where I am now!”
A farmer was in a bar drinking and looking all depressed.
His friend asked him why he was looking depressed and he replied, "Some things you just can’t explain. This morning I was outside milking. As soon as the bucket was fill the cow kicked it down with his left foot so I tied up his left to a pole.
I began to fill up the bucket again and he kicked it down with his right foot, so I tied his right to a pole too.
As soon as I finished milkin’’ him again he knocked down the bucket with his with his tail and I took off my belt and tied up his tail with my belt.
As I was tying up his tail, my pants dropped down, then my wife came out and well, trust me, some things you just can’t explain!"
Okay, here’s a cheesy one:
How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Answer
Spoiler
Two, if they’re small enough.
What do Sara Palin’s mouth and vagina have in common?
Whatever comes out of them is bound to be retarded.
He who runs in front of car gets tired.
He who runs behind a car gets exhausted.
Here are two:
Two flies are next to each other eating shit. One of the flies farts and the other says do you mind I’m eating.
I got this one from a cartoon:
Why did the roast complain a lot?
Because they cooked it in wine. (God help me for laughing at this joke:rofl:)
And you all can’t forget this classic:
A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks him why the long face
-DJ-
You want cheesy/crappy jokes? You got 'em.
Q. What’s the most embarrassing title a fisherman could get?
A. Master Baiter.
Q. What’s a poker player’s favorite delicacy?
A. Chips.
Q. What does a tree usually say in winter time?
A. I wish this snow leaves me alone.
A newly planted bush tried to strike a conversation with a tree and asked how it’s doing. The tree replied “I’m pretty pine, thanks!”
Q. What do you call an undead insect?
A. A Zombee.
Q. What’s a vegetarian’s favorite video game genre?
A. Beet-em-ups.
:xeye: This one’s pretty wack:
*Knock knock…
Who’s there?
9-11…
9-11 who?
9-11 who?
Spoiler
:sad: You said you’d never forgot.
and here’s a lame your mama joke:
Your mama’s so fat, I tried to swerve around her and ran out of gas.
:bluu: Go ahead, throw the tomatoes. I deserve it… dood.