What do you call a monkey in a minefield ?
Answer
Spoiler
A BaBOOM!
Why do women take longer than men to reach orgasm?
Answer
Spoiler
Who cares?
Why would people rather be a hawk or eagle anyways? Not only is there a chance the genie is lying and you will just die, but I can’t think of anything that flies I would rather be. Unless you could say gundam or superman or something.
Sorry, it was just bothering me.
Because you’re stuck on a mountain. It’s either die, or become something else.
:wtf:
thats fucked up.
lmao, i liked.
Did you hear about the new emo style pizza? it cuts itself!
Yo mama’s so fat, I’m assuming she has health problems.
well in that case…
yo mama so fat she weighs more than 100 lbs!:arazz:
Yo mama’s so skinny she hid behind Callista Flockhart.
I saw Neil Hamburger perform last night, I think all of his jokes would be relevant here.
Knock Knock
who’s there
Steve
Steve who?
Steve Johnson
Hi, Steve come in.
Why are plastic surgeons so rich?
Because it just became trendy to be an emo kid without tear ducts.
Lulz
Alright, I heard this one from a friend like almost a year ago, so I might fuck it up a bit but w/e
A man comes home from a hard days work. He jumps onto his couch and turns the TV on with his remote, only to find the cable not working. “What the hell” He says aloud. He checks the TV and finds there’s no cable cord.
He thinks one of his family members might’ve taken it. So first he calls his dad. No one picks up. Then he calls his mom, whom he asks “Do you have my cable cord?”. She assures him no, and adds she rarely even watches TV . Then he calls his sister, whom he asks the same thing. She tells him she already has her own, so she had no need to take his.
At this point, he’s pretty sure it was his dad. He ends up driving over to his father’s place and knocks on the door. His father answers the door, and he asks his dad “Do you have my cable cord?” to which his father replies “Oh, yeah, I’m using it for the game today.”. Then the son drives home.
Your mother is so ugly, I would like to take time to convince her she has subdermal beauty as to boost her below average self-esteem.
adorable taiwanese ESL student told me this one (in the most adorable broken english)
what do liar do when he is dies?
lie still!
:lovin::lovin::lovin::lovin::lovin::lovin::lovin::lovin::lovin::lovin::lovin:
Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Nobody.
Nobody who?
Yo mama so fat she showed up on HD and ate the bars.
pondering humor…
Why is Santa so darn jolly?
Answer
Spoiler
because he has a list of all the knotty girls
I’ve been using this one for Diablo for decades:
Your mother is so ugly even Deckard Cain can’t identify her.