Bugs_bunny.gif keeps looking better and better: Florida thread

d3v · April 11, 2014, 5:39pm

Figured it wasn’t real when I noticed you weren’t making comments about how you’d let her attack you (but only if she let you go in balls deep in return).

Gravity · April 12, 2014, 6:12am

Normal people in Florida prepare, the next time all hell breaks lose, you better be strapped.

**Florida House bill would allow carrying guns without a permit during riots, natural disasters
**
By Michael Van Sickler
Herald/Times Tallahassee Bureau

TALLAHASSEE – Under a bill backed by the National Rifle Association and other gun groups, riots could be the newest safe haven for those carrying firearms without a permit.

HB 209, which is expected to be voted on Friday by the Florida House, would allow people with clean criminal backgrounds to conceal firearms without a permit during emergencies — including riots and civil unrest like the 1996 racial disturbances that rocked south St. Petersburg — declared by the governor or local officials.

Read more here: http://www.miamiherald.com/2014/04/10/4049956/florida-house-bill-would-allow.html#storylink=cpy

Iduno · April 12, 2014, 4:30pm

It makes sense to be able to defend yourself against rioters, but, abuse of the law concerns aside (technically it would allow some of the rioters to carry a gun), when the fuck are you going to be able to just go out and buy a gun during an emergency?

(You weren’t meant to have one without a permit before then as it wasn’t and emergency.)

Joshkaz · April 12, 2014, 4:58pm

It’s Florida.
They’ll probably pass them out during a riot or natural disaster.

Rhio2k · April 12, 2014, 8:07pm

And it’ll more than likely be the people signing people up for SNAP and free phones doing it.

Starhammer · April 14, 2014, 10:49pm

In light of the new gun law news out of Florida:

Fuck guns. I want bears on skateboards as my advance guard. Of course, they may have whatever guns they wish, but I would prefer that the big guys were carrying AA-12s.

-Starhammer-

Missing_Person · April 15, 2014, 4:25am

I don’t know why they killed it, it was merely standing it’s ground.

Oh wait, they made it clear it was a black bear. Nevermind.

Starhammer · April 24, 2014, 9:23am

http://news.msn.com/crime-justice/fla-man-guilty-of-killing-newlywed-wife-for-money

Just gonna leave this here and go back to my work. What really scares me is that this story is so bland compared to the others.

-Starhammer-

Shocky_II · April 28, 2014, 4:51am

http://www.wftv.com/news/news/national/accused-animal-crush-porn-model-pleads-not-guilty-/nfjMn/?ref=cbTopWidget

VolcanicAkuma55 · April 29, 2014, 1:00am

holy shit…is PETA actually good for something?

Starhammer · April 30, 2014, 12:30pm

show of hands. How many of you immediately looked up the model’s names?

-Starhammer-

d3v · May 6, 2014, 6:19am

Hahahahaha… well played Florida, well played.

A Florida gay marriage case – known in the federal court system as James Domer Brenner et al., v. Rick Scott, which challenges Florida’s refusal to recognize gay marriages that are performed legally elsewhere (Brenner and his partner married in Canada) – is sure to be one of the landmark court decisions to grind through the Sunshine State. But at least one person is elbowing in to make his own point.
Enter Chris Sevier, “a former Judge Advocate and combat veteran” who filed a motion to intervene on the Florida gay marriage case on behalf of “other minority sexual orientation groups.”

In the 24-page document, Sevier says that if gay couples “have the right to marry their object of sexual desire, even if they lack corresponding sexual parts, then I should have the right to marry my preferred sexual object.”

Which is?

“My porn filled Apple computer,” according to Sevier’s filing.

Recently, I purchased an Apple computer. The computer was sold to me without filters to block out pornography. I was not provided with any warning by Apple that pornography was highly addictive and could alter my reward cycle by the manufacturer. Over time, I began preferring sex with my computer over sex with real women. Naturally, I ‘fell in love’ with my computer and preferred having sex with it over all other persons or things, as a result of classic conditioning upon orgasm.

Short on sound legal grounding (and even shorter on wit), Sevier’s filing is obviously an attempt to punk the legal system because he doesn’t agree with gay marriage (as he says in the filing, “sexual orientation” never existed as a classification until President Obama came along to advance his “social agenda to make America a ‘gay nation.’”

Sevier says he’s here to make the courts “put up or shut up” on the equal protection argument upon which the push for gay marriage is based. He obviously thinks his obnoxious argument makes some point.

This seems to be part of his MO, clogging the legal system with ridiculous claims and troglodyte thinking. A Chris Sevier sued Apple because it sold him a computer without telling him about the evils of porn. A Chris Sevier sued A&E after it fired Duck Dynasty’s Phil Robertson after he was caught spewing antigay talk. And just recently, a Chris Sevier tried to butt his way into Utah’s gay marriage legal case. In a 50-page motion, he claimed he was there to make the court “put up or shut up” on the gay marriage issue.

Fortunately, here in Florida, the federal judge manning the gay marriage case has tossed Sevier for now. “Chris Sevier has moved to intervene, apparently asserting he wishes to marry his computer,” Judge Robert Hinkle wrote in an April 24 ruling. “Perhaps the motion is satirical. Or perhaps it is only removed from reality. Either way, the motion has no place in this lawsuit.”

Score one for common sense. Then again, it’s a little depressing to see what gets flushed out of the weeds by a little progress.

jimmy1200 · May 6, 2014, 6:28am

thats a story you pull out anytime your girl gets mad at you. like look, im a good man, i could be this crazy fuck, but im not. sheesh, the shit crazy people do.

Starhammer · May 7, 2014, 2:46pm

Here is a REALLY Weird Florida story.

http://news.msn.com/us/florida-girl-graduates-college-and-high-school-a-week-apart

Good black female who is smart? Yeah, she better get the hell outta there with the quickness.

-Starhammer-

Rhio2k · May 7, 2014, 2:54pm

Hell, I saw some shit on the news where high school kids can graduate and get a degree at the same time thanks to a new program that’s just been started at one school. 2 years college experience RIGHT out of high school. Tha’ shi’ cray!

Rhio2k · May 7, 2014, 3:01pm

d3v:

Hahahahaha… well played Florida, well played.

A Florida gay marriage case – known in the federal court system as James Domer Brenner et al., v. Rick Scott, which challenges Florida’s refusal to recognize gay marriages that are performed legally elsewhere (Brenner and his partner married in Canada) – is sure to be one of the landmark court decisions to grind through the Sunshine State. But at least one person is elbowing in to make his own point.
Enter Chris Sevier, “a former Judge Advocate and combat veteran” who filed a motion to intervene on the Florida gay marriage case on behalf of “other minority sexual orientation groups.”

In the 24-page document, Sevier says that if gay couples “have the right to marry their object of sexual desire, even if they lack corresponding sexual parts, then I should have the right to marry my preferred sexual object.”

Which is?

“My porn filled Apple computer,” according to Sevier’s filing.

Recently, I purchased an Apple computer. The computer was sold to me without filters to block out pornography. I was not provided with any warning by Apple that pornography was highly addictive and could alter my reward cycle by the manufacturer. Over time, I began preferring sex with my computer over sex with real women. Naturally, I ‘fell in love’ with my computer and preferred having sex with it over all other persons or things, as a result of classic conditioning upon orgasm.

Short on sound legal grounding (and even shorter on wit), Sevier’s filing is obviously an attempt to punk the legal system because he doesn’t agree with gay marriage (as he says in the filing, “sexual orientation” never existed as a classification until President Obama came along to advance his “social agenda to make America a ‘gay nation.’”

Sevier says he’s here to make the courts “put up or shut up” on the equal protection argument upon which the push for gay marriage is based. He obviously thinks his obnoxious argument makes some point.

This seems to be part of his MO, clogging the legal system with ridiculous claims and troglodyte thinking. A Chris Sevier sued Apple because it sold him a computer without telling him about the evils of porn. A Chris Sevier sued A&E after it fired Duck Dynasty’s Phil Robertson after he was caught spewing antigay talk. And just recently, a Chris Sevier tried to butt his way into Utah’s gay marriage legal case. In a 50-page motion, he claimed he was there to make the court “put up or shut up” on the gay marriage issue.

Fortunately, here in Florida, the federal judge manning the gay marriage case has tossed Sevier for now. “Chris Sevier has moved to intervene, apparently asserting he wishes to marry his computer,” Judge Robert Hinkle wrote in an April 24 ruling. “Perhaps the motion is satirical. Or perhaps it is only removed from reality. Either way, the motion has no place in this lawsuit.”

Score one for common sense. Then again, it’s a little depressing to see what gets flushed out of the weeds by a little progress.

http://blogs.browardpalmbeach.com/pulp/2014/05/florida_man_wants_to_marry_my.php

Oh, thank god. I thought it was gonna be a donkey or something. This guy’s just being a smartass. But give it time…everything liberals claim could never happen with their decisions and policies somehow finds a way and becomes an “unforseen” occurrence. I say if you want to be recognized as a gay couple in 'murrica…you probably should get gay married in 'murrica, or go get your marriage documents or whatever recognized and notarized by somebody here who does gay marriages. You know, get your shit on the record, at least.

jimmy1200 · May 10, 2014, 10:59am

d3v · May 10, 2014, 2:22pm

^So nothing surprising or totally unexpected for Florida.

Starhammer · May 11, 2014, 9:49am

@‌Jimmy1200

just…Damn. I saw part of that on the news. Florida alone keeps the WTF button in business.

-Starhammer-

Zio_Name · May 11, 2014, 1:05pm

You know… This thread was one of the reasons i finally decided to register on SRK… I always wanted to leave Italy and get to some coastline State (main causes of my wish: crappy economy plus i live in a crappy place) but the more and more i read about Florida, the more i want to stay in Italy. It is totall absurd how news about crimes pop up not only in Florida (though i must admit: Florida looks like the most fucked up place) but also in other States.

And how absurd are some of your laws. The “Stand Your Ground” one just sounds like… Total Bullshit, if i’m permitted to say so. I mean, i was talking about this particular law with friends and they were “You’re kidding, right? I’m mean i know it is America and they are a bunch of fucking, stupid, often obese turds, but they can’t be this stupid”. (yep, this is how a good part of Italy sees you americans. The only good things about americans are Carlo’s Bakery and Gordon Ramsay, apparently, wich is hilarious enough, since the first is of italian origins (Sicily, if i recall correctly, though he was born in America, and the second is Scottish).

Anyway, it’s not that i (as an italian) have much to be proud of. Just in the last 6 months or so, we had at least 4 crimes similar to the last ones that was posted.