Best Ever Hate Mails / Trash Talk
I should probably mention the best ever LOLz I had on XBL in SF4.
Very recently when I played this terrible Ryu, he kept spamming Tatsus (first I’ve seen of a tatsu spammer) and i kept destroying him with Air FBs (I main Akuma). He sends me a msg after saying “FB spammer, learn to fight.”
I was intrigued so I sent a msg back saying “rematch? I won’t FB at all.” He agreed!
I create a lobby and pick Akuma (now we’re voice chatting).
He starts SCREAMING "you said NO FBS! WHY U PICK AKUMA?!?!"
I said “Don’t worry, I won’t FB at all. Not once”.
Him: "Ok, but if I see one FB, I quit"
I said “Ok, no FBs. No problem”.
FYI, he picks ken.
Match starts:
Jumping cross-up MK into cr. LK tatsu fierce SRK.
He muffles under his breath: That’s some fucking bullshit right there.
He starts spamming FBs as ken. I FADC through them, block his SRK, and repeat the same combo as before, replacing the cross-up with a standing RH.
He SCREAMS through the mic: FUCKING BULLSHIT YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE! I BLOCKED!!
Finally, he lands a few SRKs on me and I jump back. He jumps in and I Ultra Demon.
I hear lots of screaming and metal crunching noises (like he threw his controller or broke something).
I said GG, rematch?
He said, FUCKING BULLSHIT! YOU FUCKING CHEAP BLAH BLAH BLAH, I can’t remember all the details.
He agreed to a rematch and I stated that I wouldn’t use ANY special moves. Just normals.
He said, U SERIOUS? YOU R GONNA GET WORKED!
I said, Then this should be a fun match for you!
No response.
I select Akuma again.
He picks Ken again.
Match start. Jumping MK cross-up into 4 chained low LPs.
Him: PROFANITY PROFANITY PROFANITY etc.
Me: Relax dude, it’s just the beginning.
The entire match I just kept getting in on him with throws and doing some low punches. I don’t think I even shot out a single fierce. Second round, using this tactic, I scored a perfect.
Now I hear LOTS of screaming and heard something break for sure. His mic must be on the ground because it’s kind of far back. I think I hear something like “you’re a dick” but I couldn’t really understand. After about 30 seconds, it goes somewhat quiet. He picks his mic up. I hear heavy panting.
Me: “You ok dude?”
Him: “You broke my stick”
Me: “What?”
Him: “You…<breathing heavy>…broke…<breathing heavy>…my<BH>…<yelling>STICK!!!</yelling>”
Me: “WTF? <snicker> How did I do that?”
Him: “RAGE RAGE RAGE RAGE.”
I didn’t really understand much after that and then he quit. He sends me a pic a few minutes later of his stick that was missing 2 buttons and had a huge crack in the middle (looked like an old hori stick or something). God I wish I hadn’t purged all my messages. That was one worth keeping.
I actually kind of felt bad for him but I guess that’s what you get for having an inability to control your rage ;-).
EDIT: If you lol’ed at this, I think it deserves a +rep