This. This, this, this, this right here. There are plenty of times where I’m talking to my girlfriend on the phone and I get to this point. I try to find a way to deal with it - I’m able to talk to my friends daily on whatever geeky topic that interests us for days on end, but my girl doesn’t share a lot of my interests to the point where I can run out of things to talk about. Although, I have to be fair. I’m unemployed and living at my mom’s right now. It sucks and I’ve been here since September, but I am getting out of here next month. Not doing anything at all, while my girl’s been pulling two jobs at shitty shifts just to get herself here. I really don’t have much to talk about if it’s not video game related…lol.
She’s very sweet and she’s not an awful person, but sometimes she just forgets that I don’t really care about the fashion industry or celebrity gossip. Every now and then I’m able to turn her onto good shit but for the most part the only thing we’re both passionate about is food. This has been somewhat of an issue while I was still in New Jersey, but its even more pronounced long distance.
Yeah. It happens. Granted, I like more “geeky/guy” things than the stereotypical female. Y’know, computers, video games, electronics, football, etc etc. But I’m not heavily into it that I’d wanna talk about it 24/7. That’s when the “girl” part of me kicks on and it’s like, “Uuuhhhh… I don’t care. /tune out”
But, since he got Plants VS Zombies for the 360, we can play that for hours and have a good time together. (The multiplayer portion is so fun). Or I’ll attempt SF again and he can help me with stick motions, etc. It gives us something to talk about while we’re playing and afterwards. Online we can show stupid conversations with other or websites to keep the conversation going for some time.
In the end, it takes lots of trail and effort to see what you both can agree on/enjoy together, besides food. And if it’s long distance, that shit can be killer. But, I found I had more things to talk about long distance than in the same area. Especially if it’s two different parts of the country. Comparing shit and being jealous of not having a In & Out always worked for me.
Fuckin’ West Coast and your good food joints.
QFT. I think it smells so gross. Plus, the smell gets into your clothes. Ugh. So not attractive.
So I like one of my best friend’s sister. I’m in a dilemma because he’s really close with her and I don’t want to say he’s overprotective, but I’m unsure how he’ll react.
Her and I are totally cool. When I first met her I was actually intimidated by her, but gradually we talked and we seem to have a great time when doing that. I don’t see her all the time. Any time we do see each other at parties we have a great time. At a friend of mine’s a few weeks ago I talked her up the whole night and it was so much fun it seemed as if we were the only two people at the joint.
We’ve chatted recently on Facebook and send messages back and forth as well. I’m pretty sure she’s single right now. Just last night we chatted on Facebook from 11 p.m.to 1 a.m. It was full of laughs and just more of the same fun we had at my buddy’s a few weeks ago. My face actually hurt because I had a grin from laughing and just being thrilled to talk with her.
The question I have is how do I go about actually asking this girl out? Like how do these “we were friends at first” things advance to the dating part? And how do I go about making sure it’s cool with my friend?
Haha. I should drag my boyfriend in here for this one. But, that’s how we started. Been best friends since we were 14 (we’re 22 now). It took some time for us to start dating but (mainly cause I friendzone’d him), it eventually happened. It’s been over 2 years. Jesus. Anyway. In some respect, you have to be able to be “friends” to a degree to work. Sometimes, the lines of friendship/intimate relationship can blur. That can be a good and a bad thing, but we won’t get into that.
Before I forget: What I mean about still being friends is that you’re there for her, but not the go-to guy when she needs a shoulder to cry on. That comes after an intimate relationship is established. She already has a best friend for that. That shit is friendzone fuel. Figured I’d throw that out there as a warning.
From the girl’s point of view, sometimes it’s hard to separate “friends” from going to the next step. However, since you guys don’t see each other on the regular like us (high school. lol), you’re one step ahead. Doesn’t seem like you’re really friendzone’d yet. So, that’s good! Since you guys are talking, I think you should do something casual. Like, “Hey, you wanna hang out sometime?” And make sure that you specify that you want it to be just the two of you. Don’t want some group outing bullshit. See how it goes from there.
If you two can continue to talk and enjoy each others’ company without it being a party setting, then hell yeah. If it goes well, ask for another outing/date. Somewhere in there, you’ll eventually have to state your intentions with her (if she hasn’t figured it out). Sometimes girl can play dumb (or are really dumb) and not notice that you’re trying to push for more than just being BFFs. We’re just waiting to hear if the guy feels the same. Almost like a defense mechanism or security. No one likes getting emotionally hurt and rejection is a bitch. Just prepare for the best and worse cases.
1: She’s genuinely interested in you and would like to take it further.
2. She thinks you’re a great guy and fun to talk to, but not someone she can “see herself dating”.
Sadly, the only way you’ll know is if you put your neck out there. Cruel, ain’t it?
And her friend? Fuck them. That’s not her dad. You don’t HAVE to be cool with them to get permission to date her. If they get hurt with you dating her, that’s just collateral. If he wanted to make a move but was taking his sweet ass time… Sounds like a personal problem.
I have to chime on this part cause my sidekick Neesa summed up the steps well
know what… i dont think he should have a reaction. lets be real… he obviously will feel a certain way and YOU SIR will have to adjust your mannerisms toward her so if anything it more of an adjustment. Also note that if this is your friend you need to recognize that an everything in your relationship (dating level) can NOT be shared as u may have done in the past…
never be afraid/nervous/questionable about anyone other than mom an dad. everyone will have opinions an views of you an her an everyone thinks they know whats best… u ignore it like light kicks an mediums kicks after fireballs… its just to distract u wit wiffs that are not hitting you…
I guess I never really paid much attention to friends. But, I can be selfish like that. I honestly didn’t notice I was hurting my best friend (current boyfriend) at the time by dating other guys. I was just worried about me. Just a personality flaw. Ah well. I’m still fly.
But, I guess if this dude is close to her like that, maybe keeping your opinions about him to a minimum. Until you’re in there (not sexually). Some girls can get real defensive about their best friends. Specially guys. I don’t know why. I think it’s a territorial thing that kicks in. Adjustments does sound like a better way to get close to her and not step on the BFF’s toes… too much.
Thanks for the input. She chatted with me on Facebook again last night. She was the one to start the conversation, not me.
We chatted for about an hour and I think we plan to talk again today. Neesa, I honestly believe she might be too dumb to realize I’m into her. Damn, like you said, I just have to stick my neck out and hope for the best.
And Koop, you’re right, I can’t talk with homey about anything, 'cause it’s his sister. It’s tough, 'cause he has a girlfriend and he’ll still send texts or mention other hotties who we’ve met or point them out if we’re at the club or bar.
Anyway, I’m leaning toward hanging out with her. She said she would be busy this week (Christmas and family is in town). Still don’t know if I can get her in a one-on-one situation like Reggie Bush against a linebacker. I’m gonna have to try an empty Dragon Punch and hope to hit Dhalsim’s extended limbs.
Some reason, this made me smile. If that’s the case, then you’ll definitely hafta say something. The only drawback might be the whole, “Oh… I didn’t realize it. I dunno if I can look at you the same way now…blahblahblah.” Hopefully, it doesn’t get too weird for her and things pan out well. Unrequited “love” is a pain in the ass.
Well, at least if you let her know what’s up, you know if you stick with it or drop her faster than a HMO.
I’m currently in that situation. The girl I’ve been talking about is as close to my ideal of the perfect woman as humanly possible it’s ridiculous and while I’d prefer her to like me as more then a friend the fact that we are friends is good enough for me.
Ugh man, I wish I had a situation like that. Im still workin on becoming a better social person, but sometimes I cant bring myself to say anything to a female. I’m not as much afraid about hearing “no” as I am about unsure of how to segway into asking for her number (unless I am drunk but there is no possible way I’ll be drunk 24/7). Those times I do say something, I wind up always just cutting of the convo and peicing out rather than asking for anything. How am I spose to get my confidence up? I’m tired of being that guy that came with that couple.
Know what I hate? When you get a number, only to misplace it the next morning. Well fuck you, Fate! Im going back to drink a pint, demolish some wings, and get her number again!:arazz:
Do you feel comfortable if your significant other went out with a friend of the opposite sex to like the movies or out to eat?
would you buy a gift for someone you do not really know that well but have associated with or know about? (all signs point to “hell no”) im guessing it depends on the price of the gift as well…im talking shoes, forces which run at about 60 to 80 bucks a pair
(im considered “cheap” “selfish” “stingy” “wrong” because I did not want to buy someone I barely know something)
Question 1: Is the person my significant other interested in them? If not, then no I won’t have a problem with it. I trust my boyfriend enough to know he’s not gonna do anything stupid.
Question 2: No. I don’t buy “associates” anything. They’re on a hi/bye status. Don’t feel the need to search for Christmas spirit to spend cash on 'em. If they got me something, good for them. Call me stingy/cheap/whatever. I still got money in my pocket. They don’t. Derp derp on them.
Going with Neesa on this, it depends on how the other person feels, obviously though if he/she is attracted but your significant other is clueless you can’t blame them.
I was going to my friend’s classmate’s birthday party at a club with open bar and naturally felt obligated to get her a gift so I bought her an $8 shot glass from hard rock cafe store.
I am…no way she’s getting forces ill just get something different (this is how I can test her to see where her heart stands if she accepts my gift with no problems cool…if she goes apeshit saying she wanted shoes then cut…) seeing as how I said I was for her birthday but then again I really do not know her that well at all…I know of her from my co-worker’s daughter…we talked a few times…only went out somewhere with her once so I got the random request…
No, if she went out with a group of friends I wouldn’t think anything of it but if she was spending one on one time with some next guy it would be sloppy not to be suspicious.
I don’t think you ever need to buy someone a gift, as far as I’m concerned a gift is a gift because there is no pressure to give it to the individual.
Naturally my answer to that question is no.
Lets be real here for a second. We all can sit her an say something to make us feel at ease or show some composure…im not:
Hell the muthafuccin no will I allow or even feel comfortable with my woman (whom i trust) going out with a SO CALLED male friend. First an foremost my comfort level has raised to the point im really wondering how this convo went to set up basically a date. its not that i dont trust her…i dont trust that ‘male friend’. in fact i dont think if we flipped the scenario that sentence could have been finished without a matlock interrogation…
me: hey boo… tomorrow night imma be out at the movies with neesa
her: … ur… wait Neesa… from s…r…k righ??
me: yeah
her: … so… sooooo. so yall goin on a date
me: nah… just wanted to see this action flick an just chill
her: … you…goin to see a action flick with this Neesa… is shadow ace goin?
me: no
her: orchi?
me: no
her: wow… ok… thurst
me: lol… nah… its just me an Neesa an we gonna hit the 730 showin an be done an ill be home
her:… Neesa??
me: yeah
her: …
me: omg aint nothin goin on
her: i know… not yet
me: wow… really
her: really
me: really
her: wtf u take me for… when the fucc u suddenly find these chicks an make them friends
me: my god we just hittin a movie an that its
her: YOU SAID THE SAME SHYT TO ME AN I ENDED UP ON MY BACK CAUSE I COULDNT CONTAIN MYSELF…
