Just a bit over 2 years we took things at a snail pace. Yeah, shes always been like this. It’s as I said thrust. When shes ready, shit is amazing. Theres no halfway point for her, but when she doesn’t want to do it, don’t matter how much I want to, she won’t.
yea yoiu should talk it out. i mean like does she lay there and not get wet or is she like throwing out random excuses?
It’s undervalued because women are ‘taught’ to undervalue it. Not alot of women know themselves sexually and embrace their sexuality.
The constant becomes boring if you allow it to be boring, or hold up high and mighty expectations of it going in. Not every sexual event has to be mind-blowing; sometimes the simple creature comforts are more effective than the freak fests.
Sexual chemistry and personal chemistry go hand in hand, or I should say, should go hand in hand.
One shouldn’t outweigh the other, but in relationships in general, as Az says, sexual chemistry is often put on the backburner, and most often, it’s put back there by women.
For the life of me, I really DON’T understand that right there. If you’re so offended that your man seeks some ‘relief’ via porn, just handle that shit yourself. That shit just REEKS of insecure, little girl bullshit.
She could have a low drive or she could be attempting to control the rate of sex, as covered in previous posts. I’d have a discussion with her about this.
I’m starting to think it may be the latter instead of the former, where she doesn’t value sex as much but more closeness/feelings I guess, coupled with a low sex drive…I’m gonna try to talk to her about it later on tonight or tomorrow.
doea she still like to cuddle/make out and shit? bcuz i’ve never understood how some people (read: chicks) could be all about making out that doesn’t progress to sex, i could prob count on one hand that amount of times i’ve made out and no sex play went down.
20 lbs is a lot of weight to cut. Whats her bf%? This should be in the weightlifting thread imo.
In any case dealing with a broad with suspect eating habits is one of the hardest things to do imo. They won’t listen half the time and they end up finding out the hard way in most cases. That said her trainer is a prick for trying to push her to cut 20 lbs. Thats absurd. Especially if shes around 160-170 naturally.
I had a serious girlfriend for several years who developed anorexia as the result of stress in college. I can tell you from experience that while people with body dysmorphic disorders will for sure need the support of their loved ones most of them cannot recover without professional help. If you really think she has a clinical eating disorder then she needs to see a therapist before irreversible damage is done to her body. The real problem is not being able to rationalize the limits of their own body, and that’s not something that can be solved by just encouraging her to eat more.
WTF?? 10%?? My bf% is 10%. That is crazy for a broad. She shouldn’t even be under 18-19% IMO. Yea…she needs help. Do something fast bc thats dangerously low for a woman.
Girls are fuckin’ retarded. Especially on a high school level. But you should really just talk to her. No need beating around the bush. She clearly needs some help and fast. I agree with Epidemic wholeheartedly with getting her help right away.
Personally think most of this thread is a joke, but good laughs nonetheless.
This thread is always going to be split down the middle between the the people who think long term for relationships and people who think short term, some variation of the same argument comes up every other week in which someone askes a question and both sides weigh in, and one side is like what the hell are you talking about to the other. As far as the sex thing goes i like being in relationships more so im on Neesa’s side. If you look at the issue of constant sex as “i’m having sex wih the same person” vs “im just sex regularly with multple people” you come to very different answers in your head. Having sex with the same person does get dull at times but it runs alot less risk than having sex with whoever.
Same thing goes for flaws in your significant other short term people will tell you to get out as soon as possible while the relationship people will tell you to at least try to work it out generally. Figuring out which side of the line you fall on is kind of critical for getting useful advice from this thread IMO.
Yes. Yes she does.
I don’t think that holding back on sex is going to make when you do get it more exciting. Boring sex will still be boring sex. Maybe I’d be happy to be finally getting some, but that doesn’t change the fact that its boring sex.
If both partners are enjoying themselves, then I don’t see the purpose of holding back. If you’re getting bored, its time to start trying to figure out why. I don’t think you need crazy positions or situations to keep a sex life healthy.
As has been said, a lot goes on with women’s sex drives. She could just be the low-drive type. A lot of women have their emotions linked to their sex drives, so if she’s unhappy about something - friends, work, whatever, that could also help to turn it down.
One thing I’ve always tried to do was to ensure that my partner always fully enjoyed the sex. Whatever I had to do. Because men and women think a lot differently when it comes to sex. Many of us guys, we do whatever we have to do to get that nut off. Sometimes the blinders come on and it makes us crazy. But for many women, its the exact opposite. If she’s not particularly in the mood, if she thinks about sex she thinks about how the sheets will get messy, how bothersome the after clean-up will be, if you take too long and she misses her favorite TV show…stuff like that. You as her partner should make sure that the sex itself blows all that out of the water. So that even when she is not in the mood, she may think “Well, I’m not feeling it now, but if I do it I’m going to get my socks rocked, so okay.”
Okay, I’ve got a question for you guys. Recently, I’ve been trying to win over a special young lady. She’s been playing very hard to get, and for the most part, I don’t mind, but its starting to get annoying. I’ve managed to avoid falling into the friend-trap several times already, but my patience is wearing thin, and if this keeps up for much longer, I may slip up my gameplan and fall in. She’s told me she has reservations about dating me because she’s a ‘bad girl’ and she doesn’t want to hurt me, blah blah. I keep telling her that I’m the really bad one(not actually, but y’know)
Normally, I’d just say fuck it and move on, but this one intrigues me(actually knows what SF is and is a Tekken fan), so I think I’d like to see where it could lead. That, and I’m incredibly stubborn and hate to lose…
I guess my question is: How do I speed up the process and actually get her to go out with me? Because once I get that date, it’s all good from there. Or am I just gonna have to keep turtling and fishing for a better opportunity?
You can’t. Does she know what you want? If she does, why isn’t she giving it to you? You have to think about it like that. She may be intruiging, but trust me, just because she likes video games, doesn’t mean she’s all that interesting. I will say that after that novelty wears thin, then you have to really see the full person. Outside of share the same hobbies, what about her is interesting? I’ve been hard to get situations myself, and I wasted a lot of time in them. It takes two to tango. You have to be willing to play the game along with her. If I were you, I’d have a talk. you basically have to tell her that you’re getting fed up, and you don’t want to keep this up. You’re not interested in the friend zone, and you feel it would be better to cut your loses if it’s leading nowhere. And you need to tell her this with the understanding that you may be cutting it off. The thing about some women, especially young ones is that they don’t take what men say seriously. The really think you’re talking out of your ass, or trying to get a response. women take men very seriously who say they are going to do something and actually do it. It’s one of the defining characteristics about men versus women. Men usually have the strong will to follow through what they’re saying, where women are a bit more malleable. Some lessons are hard, but you don’t want to waste your time with a woman who knows how you feel but yet likes to still play with your feelings. I don’t find anything intruiging about such a person.
I’m done talking about the whole holding back or whatever, since it’s not what I mean. But I will answer this. Yeah, our emotions are definitely the key factor to our sex drive. Especially stress. At least for me, it take a bit to try to get my mind from focusing on other things. If I’m feeling really depressed, forget it. I wouldn’t even wanna be bothered. However, sometimes I’ll just go with it cause I know it’ll make my boyfriend happy, which cheers me up. But, I wear my emotions on my face, so if he sees I’m not feeling it, he’ll stop. It’s weird cause sometimes it’s hard for me to not focus on other things (in the very beginning). If we played a game or discussed something, it’ll still be on my mind. And I’ll just keep thinking or recalling stuff. It’s fuckin’ annoying cause it can be such a mood killer. Like, I’ll want it but my emotions and physical desires can be outta sync because of that. So, he’ll try to get me in the mood (and it just takes some persuasion to get my mind off things) and go from there.
Relationship question time, not some hit it & quit it with a broad:
But, does that happen to guys? I’m genuinely curious. Has your girl ever tried to get you in the mood and you just didn’t wanna be bothered at the time
Yeah, I definitely agree. If she knows how you feel about her and she wants to stay on that “lemme see how far he’ll go for me”, then cut it. Yeah, it’s nice to find a relatively attractive female that plays video games. Since we know the majority are like werebeasts. But Like Branh said, gotta look at the person as a whole. What if she didn’t play video games, would you have even given her a second look/thought?
Playing hard to get is fun when you’re younger, but I think there comes a time when that shit needs to stop. You can do it for a little (both male and female) to see if the person is really feeling ya and not just dragging you around. But once feelings are established and the other person doesn’t know how to take it, it might be better to cut it. No point wasting time, effort, feelings on someone that doesn’t wanna reciprocate it.
i’m with branh, it sounds like shorty is frontin on you for whatever reason. the best thing to do is make a strong move to let her know that you’re serious and if she’s still BS’ing you, just fall back completely. some chicks need you to cut their asses off before they realize that you’re not some sucker nigga that’s gonna chase them forever and get with the program.
ok then yeah, i’d say you guys DEFINITELY need to have a talk bcuz it sounds like she’s getting everything she wants and you’re getting nothing that you do which isn’t cool and isn’t ultimately good for the relationship.
exactly. it sounds like you guys are confusing the relief that comes with breakign a dry spell with actual good sex. if you need that artificial construct to keep it interesting then whatever, but you’d be much happier if you just fucked more frequently and collectively (you and your partner) stepped your game up.
exactly. if you don’t like having sex with the same person ev
Thanks for the responses guys. Yeah the whole gaming aspect is just a bonus on top of the fact that she’s one of the few women I can have a convo with and not want to smash my head through a wall… She’s cool and all, but I’m getting too old for all of this ‘will she/won’t she’ crap. I’m gonna lay down the law when I see her again, and if she still wants to play, she can play by herself. I’ve got better things to do with my time and other options for relationships that don’t require me to jump through flaming hoops.
It’s a shame, because I think we’d make a great couple, but hey, you can’t change people.
I had a girlfriend go through that myself, I think that you have to tell them that the reason you are talking to them is because you care about them, you think she is beautiful, and you don’t want her to get hurt. So often these girls get traumatized or try to live up to an impossible standard because of what they see in Cosmo and magazines like that. I remember my girlfriend wanted to look like a shape magazine cover model so she went through extreme measures to get there. The problem was is she was a size 5 before she even started going on that crazy diet in the first place, and already had a great figure. Eventually, she got really sick and didn’t have enough immune function to fight her infection and was hospitalized for quite a while, THEN she finally started seeing the counselor. I think you can show some concern, but they have to want to get better, you can’t just force them to. It’s pretty hard to watch someone you care about fall apart like that, but they need to want to help themselves.
Hmm, I finally feel like delurking and posting something.
I want to respond to the girl holding back sex…I think it is stupid, I can?t understand what the heck goes on in a woman?s mind when she thinks holding back sex is a good thing.
I will however, say that what is usually not spoken often about is that there are men that hold off sex.
I?m not talking about a guy just not being in the mood, I?m talking about someone that was in a relationship for three months and he wouldn?t have sex with his gf. She was constantly complaining that she couldn?t figure out what is issue was, she was ready, they had both had sex with other partners before meeting each other, and they both really loved being with each other, yet he held back. She tried talking to him about it, no blame, or making him feel bad, just plain talking, but he just wouldn?t explain it.
So I want to know, why would a guy hold back on sex?