Titties for dem free cremies. Tien_G is right; you could be killin’ it if you write a book on this. Or maybe team up with an artist and do it comic-style.
Yo doc, hook me up with those care packages
say brah maybe I should…who could i link up with and do a book on this ish?and start makin PAPER!
Just got off doing a overnight…All the drunk white girls came thru and drunk white dudes too.I was gettin off(no pun intended) waiting for my food,drunk white dude walked up to me like Are you Kendrick Lamar?
me:Starts doing the running manBitch Don’t kill my vibe Bitch Don’t kill my vibe,why yes I am ya good sir sir good man
him:Wow bro I LOVED YOUR ALBUM,WHEN UR COMING OUT WITH UR 2ND ONE…
Me:shit man,when Dre drops Detox…detox is coming brah!
him:0_0 I been waitin since FUCKIN ENCORE FOR THAT SHIT BRO
me:me too I remember when Dre scrapped it
him:0_0 HE DID?
me:yup
him:fuckin ace man.but imma bout to go holla at them hotties over there,later man and thank u so much imma tell all my friends I met Kendrick Fuckin Lamar
me:Blessings and The Force be with u my friend
then he went to holla at these other chicks,dudes whole demeaner flipped
him:Val Venis voiceHelllllllllllllllllllllllllo Ladies!
her:hi(she wasn’t too interested from how she sounded)
him:are yall drunk too?
her:yup
him:where yall from?
her:Worcester
him:ahhh that hit the spot,tell u what I got a Boat and Some Cigaretttes…did that get the pussy wet?
her:ahhhhhh no
him:ahh I bet its just as wet as a grass being sprinkled on in the 1st month of Summer…sprinkle sprinkle winks
girl:LMAO SHUT THE FUCK UP
Him:i fuck up down left and right my dick is a d pad an ur da code babaaaaaay!how old are yall?
her:we’re 21
him:too young for me
her:how old r u?
her:im 38 do u have a sister?
her:no
him:does she look like u
her:dude!
him:well remember i got a boat and some ciggarettes and on May 30th at midnight remember a 38 yr old man named Ron got yo pussy wet,good night and good evening…
her:bye!
i went to leave this dude outside pretending he rowing a boat,dude was sitting down outside rowing lmao rotflI was DEAD
Then that dude thats been there 5 yrs off and on was being a real bitch ass nigga bleeding monthly type today.Kept complaining about my speed,about the bacon getting burnt(managers didnt set the timers right for the new bacon),he was getting at all the other crew members even the ones ordering,then the manager got in his case and told him to stfu,he told her fuck u im in a bad mood today and im letting it be known,then he said if u wanna talk to me talk to me in private…she took him in the break room he came back that dude was literally holding back tears lmao all quiet.
moral of today,is let a hater bury his own grave…1st thing he said when he came into today was Doc I didn’t like ur CD…im like ok…now look…he might b about to b kicked out again…
In the words of the GOAT Starhammer…DOC STAYS WINNIN…
And we got care Package #3…pm for pics
I’ll take that
Ill take a care package
Take dat, take dat.
Are you Kendrick Lamar? Lmao.
nah lmao,i kinda look like the dude tho lol
Ready to receive the mk. III care package, sir!
Just saw the care package. Damn doc
Him:i fuck up down left and right my dick is a d pad an ur da code babaaaaaay!how old are yall?
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funniest pick up line ever ur stories are comedy gold
send a lurker the goods
Reporting live out this bitch brazzers dude got fired for jacking off in the freezers
Craig and Smokey’s voice DAMMNNNNNN!
Dat Big Mac sauce is TOO STRONK.
yes! glad I came back! Get those milk-shakes flowing.
Delete Please.
today it was slow surprisingly…theres a new dude…this dudes mind state is in unfiltered niggadom coonin.dude comes to wrk with his pants saggin grabbing his nuts whenever a chick walks by,talking about how every1 knows him,got his headphone on saying the lyrics to Coke Boyz/French Montana ish.“I GOT MY 1ST 8BALL”“A HUNNIT BRICKS!”“BITCH I GOT 8BALLS!FUCK’EM AND FLEE” saying that all loud and ish.talkin about damn i wanna fuck shorty on a mattress thats held up by milk crates.Nigga is coonin it the hell up at wrk…to the point I don’t even wanna be standing this next to this dude.brah making me looking bad.not saying im a Larry Elder/Steve from Django type dude but damn b, some brothas gotta know how to act in public.
“talkin about damn i wanna fuck shorty on a mattress thats held up by milk crates.”
im done…
This shit is comedic gold, son!