Thanks For All The Fish

Human to Dolphin translation about to be attempted

Yeah, I somehow get the feeling that they’re going to be some foul mouthed mother fuckers.

Those fools. It’s the Mice they should be trying to talk to.

“Thanks for all the fish, but now we seriously have to talk about 2012!”

I would laugh so hard if that’s what they say. Although I’m sure it’ll have to do something about those giant floating garbage piles they have to swim under.

My God, do you have any idea how many horrific scientific experiments have been performed on mice? Lets not even talk about the mouse trafficking industry that supplies live mice to snake owners or racist cartoon depictions.

We can’t afford to let animals gain speech because that would be the first step in undoing their oppression. If they had any idea of what humans were doing to them and this planet they would revolt.

A world ruled by animals: Where humans are bred for fun and forced to consume dangerous chemicals for the sake of science or slaughtered for their meaty insides. I pray that there is no justice in this world.

I hope they won’t use the same sounds ‘Flipper’ would say during the series.

I don’t imagine they would have anything good to say about the Japanese.

Imagine a world ruled together by the twin dynasties of humanity and dolphin…ity.

If I were to write it mathematically, it would go like this:

A = the collective intelligence of all humanity
B = the collective intelligence of all dolphinity

Now, you’re doing pretty good with A. But A times B equals massive fuck-overage for all species not human nor dolphin. We would win decisively.

And then we would turn on our dolphin brothers and sisters like Lando turned on the Empire.

Nice hitchhikers reference in the title… dolphin translations? it might be like this: [media=youtube]5aGxRZL-_sA[/media]

LOl@Thread title

I am pretty sure Dolphins can already talk to vaginas.

Impossible, humans suck at sharing and are extremely racist (that is, the human race is above all others). Do you think the world governments would really concede any fishing rights? Anyway, what would dolphins bring to the table? We can kill fish way faster than them. If they asked us to stop dumping nuclear waste into the oceans, we could just threaten to dump MORE nuclear waste into the oceans.

The only reason humans and dolphins would team up would be for economic reasons like:

  1. If Dolphins shat pearls
  2. Dophins knew the location of atlantis and were willing to betray them by abducting sexy loli mermaids
  3. If many years from now, all of the worlds internets went to sealand and they threatened to destroy the under water pipelines.

In those cases, yes, we would fuck over the worlds fish populations (and it would have to be fish as we can’t allow them to get a taste of land mammal because that is also a slippery slope)

Dolphins can recite their dolphin-speak at such a frequency as to cause us to die in mass numbers due to spontaneous brain aneurisms. (I guess they haven’t done this yet because of the aforementioned fish-giving.) They can also swim much faster than even our best swimmers, which may lead to a penis-measuring contest that distracts from our efforts to snuff one another out, a la the space race.

Well, to be fair, they did try to warn us about our imminent doom. We as humans just took their fish-catching and hoop jumping as tricks and charades instead of warning about the destruction of our planet.

dolphins have sex for pleasure, like us. They have also been known to rape each other and people

My sister had a professor in University who had a far fetched theory that dolphins were people that evolved into the ocean or some nonsense.

I wonder what they taste like grilled

They also engage in killing and war for the fuck of it. Guess what else rapes, murders, and goes to war that’s not us, chimps! The smart animals are the most crazy.

I’ve had dolphin, not much to write home about and high in mercury.

They also engage in killing and war for the fuck of it. Guess what else rapes, murders, and goes to war that’s not us, chimps! The smart animals are the most crazy.

I’ve had dolphin, not much to write home about and high in mercury.

I’m not sure it’s all that far-fetched. I think I read in Carl Sagan’s Cosmos that mammals are thought to have evolved on land, therefore marine mammals are land mammals that returned to the water.

It’s been a while since I took any sort of biology. But marine mammals, ie whales and what the dolphins come from, are actually older than our little rodent fore fathers that got onto the land. Ditto for most life, see the shark and how long it’s been around vs anything on the land that isn’t a crock or turtle (hint, still beats those).

Time to come clean: I am from the future. I was sent back by the human-dolphin coalition to warn everybody of the impending war with our mutual enemies, the three-toed sloths. I know they seem too slow to do anything, but they are devious and without remorse. Plus, they can pee through their skin.