cheh,
I finally played this game Knight’s Contract at a friend’s house a few days ago… it looks ok, but that boss that’s on fire all the time is some seriously cheap ass shit. Here’s the rundown:
-You fight the thing on a small square platform area. There is already not much room to run around since this area is small, and the boss is huge. You can fall off the sides and of course that’s death.
-You apparently can’t even hit her when she flares up with more intense flames than normal.
-The whole game has this “escort mission” aspect to it. (*well, this is an assumption; I only played this one part…but the story/concept of the game has you as a warrior paired up with this broad that uses magic) Yeah, in these modern times… game developers apparently still have the misconception that gamers love escort missions. You’re stuck with this bitch that uses magic powers. Of course she’s apparently useless in this fight. If she dies, that’s instant game over and you’ll have to start over again. Her unbelievably dumb AI leads to a boatload of problems that makes this much more difficult than it should be… more on that later.
-Big Fire Bitch boss here also makes lava/fire appear on most of the already small area you’re fighting on. Every time she does whatever the hell that move is, a large “X” of lava shows up, which drastically cuts down your options for where you can move. Sometimes, it also prevents you from even saving the stupid magic bitch…so she just stands over there taking damage forever, and there’s literally nothing you can do about it.
Oh yeah, and Big Fire Bitch can also jump off to the side of the platform and launch attacks that blow up on the platform. Apparently, this always knocks your dude off the platform if he gets hit at all…even if he’s standing in the middle of the platform. The obvious solution is “well dodge that shit!”. Yeah, that’s good… if you overlook the awkward camera angle for that situation, which makes it difficult to see exactly where you area in relation to the edge and where the fire attacks are going to drop.
-There’s also the problem of Dumb Magic Bitch not adequately responding to your commands (just like a woman, eh?). It also seems like the game actually teleports her away from you and into one of the lava pools at random times…you’re running with her, and bam suddenly she’s way over there, taking damage AGAIN. The shit is so stupid it goes beyond aggravating and ends up just being funny.
***Game Developers: “Escort mission” aspects of game design are STUPID, annoying shit. It is NOT FUN. There has never been a time when it has been fun. What is enjoyable about losing not because you’re dying/losing…but simply because an AI character that is your “partner” or whatever isn’t smart enough to know when it’s time to dodge or run away? I’d go out on a limb and say at least 90% of gamers would agree with this assertion.
surf ninjas is on hbo right now…why am i still laughing at these jokes almost 20 yrs later.