i would like pork Neesa with my sausage.
…
vienna sized, not kielbasa.
still tho. still.
Where do I want to eat? At the fucking dining room table. Get in the kitchen and cook me something motherfucker!
i did not know the PUMA is now doing high fashion couture now.
do bed bugs survive washings?
Souse…meat?
Why you eating spam’s incompetent pre-prohibition cousin? I thought they stopped making that stuff after the civil rights movement ended Jim Crow laws. man if you’re leaving the house anyway, get some good shit.
-Starhammer-
the iceman!
CALL THE AMBERLAMPS!!!
-Starhammer-
I know you get lonely, but yelling at yourself is never healthy
even if they didnt…i’m sure their eggs do, or else bed bugs wouldnt need DDT to eradicate an infestation.
@Starhammer
i know you hate SJWs…so i’ve got the perfect gif for you.
for whenever you feel the need to express that moment when a SJW needs to get slapped back to their senses.
its Ronald Reagan slappin a bitch so hard she actually felt it on the other side of her face.
its a powerful gif.
use with caution on days other than Manliness Mondays.
seems Vans sneakers have a “nintendo” line.
That be a gift for a 5 year old right?
I apologize in advance for this rant. It’s my autism flaring up. And I also apologize for anyone offended by my use of the diagnose autism. Even though I may technically be just below the clinical spectrum according to my psychiatrist and therefore am almost mildly autistic. But anyway, let’s talk about Superman.
Superman is fucking awesome. He’s my favorite superhero. Growing up, I got an entire moving box full of Silver Age comics my dad bought during the 60s and 70s from my grandmother. It was the shit. So naturally, part of it is nostalgia for me. But it’s more than that. See, I don’t feel the same way about Batman or Wonder Woman or the Flash. I like them, but they’re not as good as, say, the Jaime Reyes Blue Beetle or Booster Gold or Animal Man. But Superman is the fucking best. But people don’t get Superman. Especially Zach Snyder. And look, I get the immediate complaint of him killing a bunch of people in Man of Steel and Pa Kent being a fucking asshole who wants a busload of kids to die and kills himself over a dog, and that’s valid criticism of Superman’s portrayal, but I think it misses some fundamental things that make Superman awesome that the movies lack. Namely, he is not supposed to be Jesus. Sure, he might seem similar to Jesus at first. A good dude with powers beyond mortal men sent from somewhere else to guide mankind. But that’s actually only part of what makes him interesting.
People like to point to What’s So Funny About Truth, Justice and the American Way as this story that shows why Superman is awesome. And while it is a great comic, I feel the message is kind of simplistic. “I could kill everyone, but that would make me an asshole and doesn’t actually solve the problem” is nice and all, and the writing’s solid, but it just doesn’t quite do it for me. One of my all time favorite Superman stories is in Hitman. You know, the gritty irreverent Garth Ennis comic with tons of childish sex jokes and over the top violence (It’s also where that image macros the fat, sweaty dude licking his lips going “bueno” comes from. He is a superhero who literally has the power of being super creepy). See, there’s an issue where the main character (who kills people for a living, mind you) meets Superman and starts fanboying out. Eventually Superman starts venting about a space shuttle accident where he can’t save a dude and just before he dies, his final thoughts are “Superman can’t save me”. This eats Superman up inside, because he’s fucking Superman and everyone thinks he’s going to save the day, and that dude looked right into Superman’s eyes as he realized his hope of being saved was in vain. Up until his final moment, he thought he was going to live and Superman failed him. See, people think of him like Jesus, but he’s just a dude. A dude with ridiculous powers, but still a man with limits. The response the main character gives Superman is that he’s a good guy precisely because he still thinks that way. If he ever were to go “well, that guy died, but I saved a lot of people, so who gives a fuck?” he’d start on a slippery slope. But he still beats himself up over his mistakes and tries to be better than he is, even though he’s fucking Superman. He holds himself to that standard, not everyone else. Because he can do more, he has more responsibility. He has to at least try to live up to people’s faith in him.
And on a deeper level, that issue is also a meta-commentary on the comic book industry. See, the issue ends with Superman feeling better after their conversation and flying off. At which point the titular hitman shoots a dude in the face with a sniper rifle while commenting on how not everyone can be as good as Superman, and he can be a morally gray piece of crap because Superman’s out there being the good guy. See, precisely because Superman is fucking Superman, it creates the contrast for gritty edgelord shenanigans. If all heroes were Spawn, Venom or the Punisher, we’d probably get pretty bored because there would be no good guys. Punisher is cool because internally you contrast him with guys like Superman, even if you think Superman is lame as fuck.
Which leads me into my final rant, which is about how Zach Snyder portrays Superman and Lex Luthor. See, my favorite interpretation of Lex Luthor is as a fundamentally good guy with the critical character flaw of not being able to recognize someone’s better than he is. And not in the traditional “I just want to beat Superman with my science” sense, but in the sense of just being a better overall person. A lot of the time, tv series, animation and movies go for Lex Luthor just being a megalomaniacal egomaniac and/or thinking Superman will try to take over the world. But my favorite interpretation of the Lex Luthor character is the guy who simply can’t fathom that a guy everyone worships as a god and who gets all this publicity is genuinely doing things out of the goodness of his heart and doesn’t let his own hype get to him. Because Lex wants approval. He does charity and PR events so people will like him and buy his bullshit. Even the stuff he does for the betterment of mankind, he does because he wants people to acknowledge him. The fundamental difference between them is that Superman genuinely believes everyone can be a good person and he’s no better than anyone else, while Lex subscribes to the idea that the best you can hope for is for people to do what’s good for them in the long run and thinks he’s one of the few people smart enough to realize this. We do good things to leave a legacy, whether it’s awards and accolades, or our kids. Superman “pretending” he does it for selfless reasons pisses him off. But when you literally make Superman Jesus, Luthor becomes right in a sense. He’s completely justified in believing this dude who acts like a god and encourages people to think of him that way might think he’s a god. For fuck’s sake, he’s doing Jesus poses while adoring crowds touch him in awe. Now, there’s nothing wrong with a villain with logical justification for his actions. That can actually make for a compelling character. The problem is that in order to make him look like the bad guy, Snyder makes him even more evil and crazy. Which misses the most interesting point about Luthor, which is that he could be a good person if he’d just acknowledge his own flaws. He’s not just bald Joker with a lot of money or Obadiah Stane.
For example, in Superman: Red Son Lex Luthor is arguably the good guy. He’s still a narcissistic piece of shit who neglects his own wife and is callously willing to kill tons of people and ruin the economies of entire nations to defeat Superman. But the thing is, he at the very least acknowledges this. He thinks it’s necessary to stop Superman from turning the entire world into a communist dystopia. He’s more than willing to say it’s partially for his own ego’s sake, and a few of his plans even rely on Superman being a better, kinder and more benevolent person than he is. His final plan more or less boils down to “I’m going to make Superman realize he’s sunk below his own moral standards and kill himself”. And once he does beat Superman, he becomes a good person, more or less. Sure, he’s still an arrogant prick, but one that helps all mankind. And that’s how it should be. But for some reason, people seem to have an easier time grasping the Batman/Joker dynamic than Superman/Luthor. And that’s kind of sad. Everyone doesn’t have to like Superman, but I just wish more people would get Superman.
End of rant. Feel free to make fun of me now. Like I said, sometimes I just need to vent the nerd gas before it builds up inside me and my pipes start bursting.
DC should just do a live-action, scene for scene remake of 90s Justice League.
Are you talking about the animated show or the comics? Because while the Grant Morrison run on Justice League was really good, the Bat-God syndrome got annoying. Tower of Babel didn’t even really make sense, because half the “ingenious plans” to defeat the Justice League were fucking retarded. Like Green Lantern. If you can get him in his sleep, why not just shoot him in the head? You were willing to kill Wonder Woman with a heart attack (which is a whole other can of worms given that incarnation is a literal ageless golem made by the gods), so why do some stupid blindness nanomachine bullshit with the guy who needs to be conscious to use his powers?
Batman beating Prometheus by giving him the motor skills of Stephen Hawking was hilariously awesome, though.
The show.
nope. a 5 year old would never be able to appreciate the glory that was the original nes.
