SRK Lounge: More like turned on by Lesbian Seagulls

[crucades]

Damn Eddie just maxed out, dude took like 5 years off his lifespan just to beast that thing.

[Phantom_Angel]

Has anybody here ever used a flesh light?

Like would anybody buy a sentient real doll that moves and all that?

Sex bots i wonder how many guys would

These dudes are more into being penetrated than doing said penetration. Some of them only do it for the money like @thirst.

Some of them do it for the prestige like @raz0r.

And then there’s…you.

They don’t call you “Analpalm” for nothing.

What’s that little momma?

You really aching for that attention? Need a bit of cuddle time?

Well since ya think my name is so fucking cute why don’t you slap ya balls and your dick to your stomach and come ride me fuccboi.

Woah, woah there, cowboy…

That’s what this little bitch gonna be screaming when he got the stallion inside him. Gonna have him shitting in his sleep for a week.

http://gifsec.com/wp-content/uploads/GIF/2014/10/Disappointed-Terrible-Awful-OMG-Embarassed-Embarassing-WTF-GIF.gif?gs=a

[Manx]

So, the boss called a meeting (not sure if I posted that on here or not), telling us that our entire job descriptions are being changed and that we’re basically all Security Ops Engineers now, after training and certification. Title change comes at the end of the week and a pay increase. Potentially a BIG pay increase. I’m trying to scrape out as much $$$ as I can get. If I still get shift differential pay, my hourly could double. And just think, I was thinking of leaving trying to get just this position.

:tup:

[odin]

So, the boss called a meeting (not sure if I posted that on here or not), telling us that our entire job descriptions are being changed and that we’re basically all Security Ops Engineers now, after training and certification. Title change comes at the end of the week and a pay increase. Potentially a BIG pay increase. I’m trying to scrape out as much $$$ as I can get. If I still get shift differential pay, my hourly could double. And just think, I was thinking of leaving trying to get just this position.

:tup:

Grats, brother!

[crucades]

So, the boss called a meeting (not sure if I posted that on here or not), telling us that our entire job descriptions are being changed and that we’re basically all Security Ops Engineers now, after training and certification. Title change comes at the end of the week and a pay increase. Potentially a BIG pay increase. I’m trying to scrape out as much $$$ as I can get. If I still get shift differential pay, my hourly could double. And just think, I was thinking of leaving trying to get just this position.

:tup:

Congrats my friend, truly…

Jealously compels me to hope for a run in between yourself and that glorious american law enforcement in the near future.

[Sonicabid]

So, the boss called a meeting (not sure if I posted that on here or not), telling us that our entire job descriptions are being changed and that we’re basically all Security Ops Engineers now, after training and certification. Title change comes at the end of the week and a pay increase. Potentially a BIG pay increase. I’m trying to scrape out as much $$$ as I can get. If I still get shift differential pay, my hourly could double. And just think, I was thinking of leaving trying to get just this position.

:tup:

You ready for the new Path of Exile league, Manx? :tup:

Who else is starting the new season on the 2nd? @ShaftAgent ? @Odin ? @Azure MIA?

[Reticently]

Thor hates Santa- it’s on!

https://twitter.com/Reuters/status/770306283429883904

https://twitter.com/BBCWorld/status/770300516807028737

[Reticently]

Also, wtf?

https://twitter.com/ultradavid/status/770195096515940352

[Tekno_Virus]

Manliness Monday

[SadQuotes]

FYF 2016 was great, I had a ton of fun seeing artists like Kendrick Lamar, Vince Staples, Chelsea Wolfe, etc.

I also got to see Chloe Moretz getting kicked out by security because she tried to sneak to Backstage LOL.

Saturday, I saw Hop Along>DIIV>Vince Staples>Grimes>Tame Impala>Kendrick Lamar

For Sunday, I saw Julien Baker>Julia Holter>Saves the Day>Black Lips>Mac Demarco>Beach House>Floating Points, Chelsea Wolfe>LCD Soundsystem.

[BullDancer]

So, the boss called a meeting (not sure if I posted that on here or not), telling us that our entire job descriptions are being changed and that we’re basically all Security Ops Engineers now, after training and certification. Title change comes at the end of the week and a pay increase. Potentially a BIG pay increase. I’m trying to scrape out as much $$$ as I can get. If I still get shift differential pay, my hourly could double. And just think, I was thinking of leaving trying to get just this position.

:tup:

So when you gonna get me that Kobe beef steak dinner? Niggas starving out here cuz.

[NickRocks]

MUSCLE MONDAY

[Starhammer]

Look who’s outta jail. Sup Debo?

-Starhammer-

[odin]

So, the boss called a meeting (not sure if I posted that on here or not), telling us that our entire job descriptions are being changed and that we’re basically all Security Ops Engineers now, after training and certification. Title change comes at the end of the week and a pay increase. Potentially a BIG pay increase. I’m trying to scrape out as much $$$ as I can get. If I still get shift differential pay, my hourly could double. And just think, I was thinking of leaving trying to get just this position.

:tup:

You ready for the new Path of Exile league, Manx? :tup:

Who else is starting the new season on the 2nd? @ShaftAgent ? @Odin ? @Azure MIA?

I’m in for Legion, sorry broseph.

[BB_Hoody]

Thor hates Santa- it’s on!

https://twitter.com/Reuters/status/770306283429883904

https://twitter.com/BBCWorld/status/770300516807028737

Damn mother nature, you scary.

[Phantom_Angel]

I’m starting to wonder about you, @NickRocks… Don’t follow in Analpalm’s footsteps.

[mIRC]

RIP and tear

http://img.ctrlv.in/img/16/08/29/57c492d074b85.jpg

[Negaduck]

Guess we won’t get that sequel to Red Asphalt 2

[StockyJam]

yoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

somebody wrote a song after Harambe the gorilla.

and the song is smooth too.

[Starhammer]

This Brit chick calls for government intervention to get guys flirting, so that...

actual article: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2016/08/24/lads-britain-needs-you-to-do-your-duty-and-get-flirting/

There are lots of things I love about Britain, just not its men.

And I don’t want to stereotype them all, so let me be more specific: I refer to those my own age, who have forced me to bookmark a cattery website. In the romantic arena, trying to meet a man sometimes makes me feel like David Attenborough, stepping into the jungle to locate a Jesus Lizard (a real thing).

Finding Mr Dreamy is difficult because the main strategies a girl can use are wrought with danger. Number one is proactivity: in 2016, it seems fair that a woman can approach a chap she fancies. This sometimes works, but generally does seem to make the man’s insides shrivel up when asked “having a good night?” or something equally menacing.

So we consign ourselves to option two: waiting. Which is just as problematic, as nothing happens. That’s the conclusion my friend and I came to last week, while we were sitting at a bar. We’re hardly bad company and several lads gave us a cheeky stare as they did the toilet trot. Still, nothing happened, so we stared sadly into our Mojitos at single reflections.

Eventually one guy asked if we’d like to join him for some table football. He was dashing and curious. He was German, of course (because the only people who’ll ever chat you up in Britain are not British.)

Now I’m not Claudia Schiffer, but I don’t think I’m Chewbacca either. Yet operating in this asexual environment, it is possible to feel largely unattractive. Some sort of winter chill has frosted over British men’s gonads, and it’s leaving us all out in the cold.

If only they’d learn from the Europeans, maybe we’d be in with a chance. In countries such as Italy, Spain and France, the men are as forward as it gets. In such territory, a woman’s self esteem may rise substantially from all the glory of being chatted up.

In Britain, it’s as if the stereotypical school disco - girls on one side, boys on the other - continues into adulthood. Eight-year-olds are probably better at asking for a dance. As a result, the singles market is growing, with 51 percent of people in England and Wales eating dinner for one.

In 2014, newspapers boasted that the City of London is fantastic for women - because it has 155 single men per 100 ladies. These numbers seems favourable - until you realise that you’re dealing with the most placid of creatures, many of whom seem to delight in their solo status.

Tools like Tinder and Happn have made things worse, as men are inundated with choice - giving them false belief they are Puff Daddy. Dating apps have completely killed off macho displays now even the most predatory man can click his way to romance.

You may be thinking that all this is trivial, but this dating dallying has big societal consequences. As the Guardian likes to remind us, loneliness kills - so dithering lads are actually murderers, when you think about it. I’m not sure what the psychological reasons for their inactivity is - perhaps feminists have scared them off with complaints of catcalling. So much so that, like the Jesus Lizard, a wolf whistle is near extinction.

British men need some encouragement, maybe even government intervention, to be more forward. In 2015, Denmark released an advert called “Do It For Mom”, to encourage its nationals to have more babies. Maybe we need an equivalent: “Do It For The Girls”. For if British men don’t make the moves, we almost certainly will be joining the Danes in the birth rate stakes.

Birth rates and loneliness aside, it’s a simple issue of self-esteem that worries me. Because of daft, but very real, rules of engagement, most women really are at the whim of men to decide their dating destiny. You wouldn’t believe how many guys are averse to forward women, but then won’t do the forward thing themselves. So everyone is stuck.

When I talk to single friends, many of us share a simple desire: we just want to be talked to more. Frankly, it’s getting us down. British lads, please find your gonads.

Oh you KNOW what time it is.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v733/stormhammer/Charlton%20Heston%20Laugh_zpseqhtrpn1.gif

Well ladies, this is what you wanted, and this is what you’ve gotten. I’m not gonna take a scapel to that article because let’s face it. ANY MOTHER FUCKER WITH AT LEAST THREE BRAIN CELLS COULD’VE SEEN THIS SHIT COMING!!! You pushed too far, and eventually, you ended up pushing them away. The government can’t fix this. Feminism can’t fix this. You made the problem, and the men solved it THEIR way. LOL@“Do it for mom”

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v733/stormhammer/Charlton%20Heston%20Laugh_zpseqhtrpn1.gif

Mom ain’t got nothing to do with this!! The lads apparently got tired of lopsided laws meant to turn them into prisoners and slaves in their own country for little more reason than saying,“I do” in a church. In effect, they’re saying,“I DON’T”.

-Starhammer-