It’s certainly not the only way, but lets be real. Who’s got a story to top that this year?
I was drunk typing on my phone on screen keypad. I can barely do this sober, so the fact that it showed up that legible drunk is a shock.
Sent from a phone, using an app that I purchased from an App Store, that appends this signature above my signature to make me look superior in social status to everyone else.
Anyone can “top” MP, evidently.
Blue ball comes slowly.
Call him/her back over again, and take pics this time.
2 Days ago I puked the most I ever had in my entire life, then directly afterwards took a shit.
Fuck you man.
All I have to say about you now.
Thought I knew you. Shit man. Making me feel like ass for what? Your fucking ego? Making yourself feel like a bigger man because I took that load?
Walk a mile in my shoes, then talk shit about my choices. Yeah, do that,
Then I’ll ridicule you. Because turnabout, bitch ass.
Sent from a phone, using an app that I purchased from an App Store, that appends this signature above my signature to make me look superior in social status to everyone else.
Goddamn, did that Tranny give MP her balls too or did he finally just grow a pair himself?
You go girl!
How about I walk a mile backwards in your shoes?
Backwards is the new straight, in Missing Person: The Game.
MOONWALKING produces less gay perfomers.
EDIT:
Are you certain this is the first time?
I seem to recall a dirty drawers story, and your wife throwing them away.
This explains that.
She actuallys loves you enough to facilitate yor denial, Corey.
Or should I call you Tobias, Mr. Funke?
Blue ball comes slowly.
I’m really curious now. Did MP purposely mimic Jab’s posting style or did it just work out that way?
What?
The posting one sentence per line thing?
I’ve been doing that for years, alternating between that and posting paragraphs when I actually have something uber-important to say.
Have I really not been on the radar until I got porked?
Man, just shut the fuck up, and go join Westboro if you’re that enamored with my love life that you haven’t stopped talking shit about it since I posted it up.
Shit man, you act as though I dragged you into the room and had her cornhole you too.
Maybe it’s because I’m running on 2 hours of sleep, but this line fucking kills me. 
I’ll pay your trip to Evo if you make that happen.
That’s a pretty expensive plane ticket, yo.
Double that if you actually want her too.
And maybe a bus fare to Tempe since Jab would never show his face at Evo if I was there, apparently.
Oinkers (Fat chick fucking) will never pull anyone the Sexual Deviant award. Unless that Oinker is packing a pig in a blanket down below and some weird shit went down.
You know, this whole thing is bittersweet.
On one hand, I lost a friend, apparently. Seriously Jab, what the fuck?
But on the other hand…
I’VE HAD THE TIME OF MY LIFE!
AND I’VE NEVER FELT THIS WAY BEFORE!
I SWEAR, THIS IS TRUE!
AND I OWE IT ALL TO YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!
Would never happen.
And you went… WILLINGLY.
Nobody had to “drag” you, only himself.
Too much TTT2, imo.
My cornhole is 100% Grade A diamond producing caliber.
It auto-parries, just defends, chicken-blocks AND fuzzy guards without fail.
It is named Athena Artemis Hestia Ferguson - and proud of it.
Blue ball comes slowly.
This is the best lounge thread ever. I am totally saving this thread for later.
And I never even fucking denied that I went willingly.
This is the shit I don’t get.
PapaRhino comes out as gay, and gets porked, you see no problem with that.
I’m not even gay, I just had sex with a chick with something extra (note that I’m not sitting over here right now swooning for whatever the fuck gay guys swoon for, in fact I just got finished ogling some good looking North Korea girls, none of which I would believe, knowing the oppressive society they live in, have anything extra in their panties), and somehow ZOMGMISSINGPERSONISAFAGGOT!
How does that make sense in your logic-deprived mind? Could you please fucking elaborate?
Once again, I reiterate, double fucking standards. Eat shit.
PapaR denies ever getting porked.
I am cool with RSG3 being himself.
You are confused ON SO MANY LEVELS.
Jesus wept, yea sad missionary.
Assume the position and repent - not THAT position, damn it!
Eat shit?
Funny, coming from you.
Did some leak out yo’ ass with his semen, and you stuck fingers down there, and acquired a taste, or something?
Val and AL wept.
Blue ball comes slowly.
insert random popcorn gif here