Italian Sausage isn’t secret top tier, just misunderstood.
Black olives, on the other hand, need a health nerf.
Tell me about it, I live in South Carolina!
Salad Sauce.
Im going to assume your hispanic, only becasue I remeber reading something you wrote in spanish. the whole nigga thing doesn’t help. But ive yet to meet a black person that likes ranch on pizza.
ranch in moderation is really good, because it adds enough taste with out compromising texture. you should try french fries and tabasco.
I subscribe to Epic Meal Time logic: the best pizza toppings are Big Macs, Baconators, and more bacon.
I loathe those guys just like I loathe Paula Dean.
Good food is about balance.
I don’t know what that shit is - but it’s not food.
It’s hilarious is what it is.
Pepperoni, sausage, hot sauce, and ranch are my faves on pizza.
Everything is my favourite pizza topping! 
Depends on which kind. White button mushrooms are about as good for that as ryu DP assist is for reversal in MvC3.
Truffle - Haggar lariat, owns everything, including yourself when overused
Chantrelle - Ammy Cold Star, stands up strong against big beefy things
Oyster - Dante Jam Session, can pretend it’s something it isn’t (once cooked), big and tall
Shiitake - LeiLei Senpu Bu, needs some preparation before it’s good
Cremini - Sentinel Drones, really versatile but the truth is usually people just spam it
<3 <3 <3
I was keeping it simple.
Let’s talk about the really confrontational part of pizza: Frozen grocery store product.
What’s your weapon, because there is decent stuff considering the source.
Are we talking about good frozen pizzas, or good frozen ingredients for pizza?
This is some advanced pizza theory discussion.
Mind = Blown. I’m barely starting to put in work with Portobellos; can’t see myself working on the others yet. Only thing wrong with your post is the use of MvC3 assists. :nono:
DiGiorno ain’t bad for the price. Luckily though, one of the italian restaurants is big enough to where they make pizzas and deliver them uncooked to one of the super market chains. Only problem is that I can’t get a good crispy crust on them, otherwise they are pretty alright.
. . . I’m so confused… Gonna have to start my pie game in a couple of weeks. Abandonist is gonna have to give a clinic on that cheese selection; specifically wondering whether or not a pizza with pepper jack as the cheese could work.
Good frozen pizza. I stand by Palermo’s Hand Tossed line as the best affordable option. If I’ve got a few extra dollars it’s Wolfgang Puck Uncured Pepperoni.
Regarding cheese and advanced techniques: I break pizza into 2 categories (with several sub-categories in each): Standard and Fancy. Standard is what you find at any pizzeria, allowing for an individual ingredient here and there to be somewhat unique (goat cheese - not common, but seen often enough). Fancy is where the gloves come off and anything goes - California pizza. My chef friends and I have gotten stupid making sushi pies before. Ludicrous stuff that’ll never see a plate or menu, stuff that’s barely even pizza its been changed so much. If I toss a dough, spread hummus and harissa on it, top it with minced lamb, and drizzle it with saffron sauce, is it really still pizza? I maintain there’s a case either way, which depends on your initial mindset. Were you trying to make something with pizza on your mind, or did you just pile some shit onto a flat bread? It’s a question of intent. Basically, if it’s just an unrolled wrap-style sandwich, then it’s not pizza. But that doesn’t mean you can’t use flatbread as a base for a pizza! Confused yet? Taxonomy and nomenclature’s fun!
Pepper jack as a cheese could work nice, but I’d pair it with a fairly assertive tomato sauce for maximum impact. Something spiked with sherry vinegar and crushed red pepper. No toppings. Drink a dry white with it. Perhaps a sparkling white like Cava (sparkling white from Spain) to enhance the acid and spice. Trader Joe’s has a nice Vino Verde that’s cheap if you have one near you - and they carry Cava from time to time. If you’re not into wine, then any dry cider would be great, or your personal favorite lager style beer.
Oh, and for fuck sake, use good cheese.
If you don’t know the difference between good cheese and shit cheese (and that’s fine! not everyone knows!), go to your grocery store and get a block of cheddar. Now go to a Whole Foods type place and get a block of cave aged cheddar (ask the dude there for a recommendation, they’re there to help). Taste them side by side eating a small piece of bread and sipping water in between each to cleanse you palate. If you can’t tell the difference in structure, texture, creaminess, etc, then you’ll need a one on one workshop and I can’t help you over the internet.
Pineapple is a great assist topping, and not just to ham. In fact, I personally find the ham/pineapple combo overrated. Best topping pineapple can assist is bacon. Bacon/pineapple is the best two topping pizza IMO. If you need a good three topping team, pepperoni/bacon/pineapple FTW. Also chicken/pineapple >>>ham/pineapple.
Obviously I’m just going by the toppings you’d get at 99% of pizza places. I’m talking about the random mom&pop places that have really random (but probably very good) toppings no one else has like muenster cheese and fried pickles or some shit like that.
I don’t know why you people have chicken so low. Yeah it demands bacon AA assist, but then what doesn’t demand a bacon assist?
And Bell Peppers are sleeper god tier.
Onions doesn’t even get a shout out as a great rush down assist?
If we’re talking about frozen section grocery store-bought pizza…
Freschetta and DiGiorno’s have gone back and forth as the #1 and #2 for me, and it’s tough for anything else to compete with their power. They’re saiyan brothers, and just about everyone else is Yamcha “clear that trash OFF the battlefield” status, at least in comparison.
For a super-cheap option, the generic Walmart version does a surprisingly good job of imitating DiGiorno’s, so I guess it counts thanks to its cheap XCOPY ability. (*sidenote— Walmart dominates as usual when it comes to price on all of this stuff. Kroger will sell you a Fresch or DiGiorno’s for about 6.99 or MORE…meanwhile, Walmart will sell you that same pizza for 4.99 or 5.25, something like that. Kroger and other stores are always getting killed in the price war on the pizza front.)
Ohhhhh just bringing it up makes me want another Freschetta’s… oh but the “Brick Oven”-labeled version is lame…never get that…the “Rising Crust” is the real deal. Also, never use the microwave to cook a Fresch or DiGiorno’s. It’s never as good microwaved as it is when you use the oven to cook it. My only complaint with Freschetta (and occcasionally DiGiorno) is that the bottom of the crust is usually too soft. However, this can easily be fixed by some further cooking in a buttered up skillet after you take it from the oven…that toasts the bottom and there ya go…it is now PERFECTION.
I suppose Red Baron is ok…it would be a reasonable 2nd or 3rd tier below the aforementioned legends.