Passing gas in bed and the health implications of it

The other night, I had an Angry Whopper for dinner; the one with the jalapenos. At around 9:30 pm I had painful hiccups that cleared slowly. And then at midnight, I had this really bad upset stomach, but no urge to go to the bathroom. All I could do was pass gas. Now you have to understand that, normally, I lift up the covers when I do that to let it air out. But considering what I had for dinner, I decided to leave the covers concealed because, honestly, it smelled kind of good under there. But it took like an hour before I had the need to use the restroom and boy did it BURN down there when I did. Now, when you expose your exterior lower body to methane for extended periods, does this cause your crap or your intestines to become in worse shape than otherwise? I’ve had similar experiences when eating spicy foods, but that instance felt unusually intense.

Lets talk about a BeGuiled thread and the health implications of it.

It gives me cancer.

I think this thread gave me cancer.

Sleep with a lit match in your bed to get rid of the odor.

Hahah i prayed this was one of your threads, Legend

The funniest thing about this thread is that it took me a few seconds to remember that the Angry Whopper is actually “a thing.” I thought he was just talking about how it jacked him up and calling it angry.

Bet OP is this guy:

And your previous avatar gave people seizures.

Dragon’s Dogma: DA > this thread.

Is BeGuiled a alien?

The gas is slightly caustic. Even in a hermetically sealed chamber, its not enough to cause burns, however, repeated release in a warm, dark eviroment, such as under the sheets can soften and minimize leg and pubic hair.
Whether or not this is beneficial is subjective, some people like it, some don’t.

Ha! I get in trouble for farting in bed and lifting the covers up because it always wafts in my girlfriend’s face. It’s not quite a Dutch Oven, but almost as effective. We just bought a Tempur-Pedic and I’ve found that you can rip one and get up, and the mattress will absorb the fart, saving it for next time you lay down. I’ve set some booby traps for her and they actually work!


Farts, or flatulence if you want to be scientific, are made out of methane, and methane is a dangerous gas. If it binds with any amphetamines it can corrode your brain like acid. Amphetamines are a chemical in your brain, so brains and farts are a volatile mixture. If a fart gets into your brain you’ll get high and eventually end up with the IQ of someone who lives in a trailer park in Florida (which is the worst kind of trailer park). You don’t want to be a Meth-head do you? Keep those farts and brains separate.

Then again if you were short on money you could bottle the methane and probably make a fortune. I hear ‘meth’ is pretty profitable. You could use a tube system attached to your butt to collect it all. Don’t waste any of that gassy gold. But methane isn’t very dense so you’d need to put it under a lot of pressure, so get a hold of some scuba tanks. A lot of them have built in mouth hoses for easy huffing.

And if no one wants to buy your scuba farts just mix the tank in with the rest of the tanks a scuba diver uses. That would be a hilarious joke to make someone breath in your farts. Just make sure you put the fart tank on tank 2, that way when he’s deep under water and switches to tank 2 from tank 1 hilarity ensues. The only way that would be funnier is if you mixed helium in with your scuba farts. That way they’re a squeaky fart breather.

And he’ll have to take his corroded scuba fart brain to a trailer park in Florida. You win. Fuck that guy for sleeping with that girl you were stalking.

If this thread were a fart, it would be a dull fart. The kind that doesn’t cause laughter among others, but doubt and animosity towards the farter.

What in the hell did I just read?

If you think jalapenos are spicy you’re scrub tier

Wait a min, BGuiled = Sony?