Need GD's Advice

Long-time lurker, first-time poster here. To be honest, this is the only place I’d dare to ask for advice and opinions regarding such a situation. Nobody I know in real life knows of this secret operation I have planned, and I’d rather keep it that way.

Firstly, the backstory. I am a single male who conveniently lives alone in an apartment inhabited by a variety of weird and wonderful characters. Perhaps the strangest neighbor I have is the one who resides directly opposite. For the sake of confidentiality, I’ll refer to him as M.

M is what the internet would label a “neckbeard”. He is grossly overweight, hideously unhygienic and a socially impaired creep. My first proper encounter with M occured last year, when I noticed him pacing the corridor and mumbling to himself in a rather distressed manner. Though it was no easy feat, I managed to find out what his problem was. Due to lack of payments, his internet had been cancelled and he was in desparate need to download the latest episode of some Japanese cartoon. By allowing him to use my computer for such download, I was able to plant the first seed of a friendship that would later prove beneficial to me.

In the months that followed, M was more sociable towards me, to the point where he felt comfortable inviting me into his apartment. The whole place is a wretched cave of body odour, candy wrappers and peculiar Japanese merchandise, but it gave me an insight into M’s world.

Now for why I’m here. Recently, M revealed to me a “Real Doll” he purchased from the internet for a whopping $5,000. He’s had the mannequin for about two months and it’s cast a strange spell over him. For example, last week he purchased for the doll a $600 gold necklace and a pair of genuine leather boots. To say that he’s obsessed with this artificial chick is an understatement.

Anyway, in the next few weeks I will be moving to another city and into a new apartment. Before I depart, I was planning on kidnapping M’s doll and demanding a ransom for its safe return. The method would be easy enough: I’ll access M’s apartment through the window via the emergency stairs and load the doll into my car. During the journey, I’ll contact M and ask for cash in return for his beloved woman.

Basically SRK, I want your opinions and advice on such a matter. How screwed will I be legally if cops are added to the mix, how much is a reasonable ransom etc. And before any of you start taking the moral high ground, I know how terrible I am for planning such a thing, but M’s not exactly a saint himself and I need the extra cash. Besides, it’s a mannequin so nobody will be getting hurt.

You

Me

I’m not sure how your picture is relevant to the situation at hand.

If you aren’t prepared to post legitimate advice or opinions, please refrain from shitting up my thread. If I follow through with this plan, I want it to go as smoothly as possible.

“Not exactly the saint himself”

What is this? I don’t even…

And for OP, I suggest you don’t. Unless you want the police to get you.
This is no different from taking anyone’s treasured belongings and holding it up for ransom.

Don’t do it, stealing is a crime, and crimes are bad. Besides if he can’t even afford internet how would he give you ransom money, unless you’re only trying to get like enough money for dinner, in which case why go through the trouble.
And why would you separate the guy from his beloved? Judging from what you’ve said, he’d probably kill himself. Could you live with yourself after that? COULD YOU

I understand the criminal nature of the situation, but I believe he’d rather comply with my demands than involve the police and risk his dear doll being harmed.

As for the money situation, things are different for M since last year. He has a steady job now that pays well, and living alone does wonders for a person’s savings.

Still considering whether or not to carry out my operation. I mean, I have everything prepared, it’s just a matter of putting things into motion.

can’t believe I’m first to call it but:

BULLSHIT

Genshir0_?

Nobody gets hurt until he needs an alternative to a willing fleshbot.

Then their pain will be all on you.

You bastard.

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Sounds like a RedD post. Pretty unimaginative.

Trust me, I’m a ninja.

This thread blows.

I’m changing the subject to subject tiers.

Subjects that are subjective are mid-tier. At best. Fight me.

Subjects that are subjective are S+ tier, when they agree with my opinion.

Let’s fight 'em together, TPB! :coffee:

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If I had the energy, I’d quote my prior Real Doll posts.

Banging the socks off of that RL, thick, ex-future wife is taking a toll on your lifebar, eh Vynce?

Good man. :coffee:

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Spoiler

http://planetgreen.discovery.com/home-garden/images/2008-11/dog-poop.jpg

(wipes tears from eyes)

I DIED

/thread.

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wasn’t that your rcaido joke, or fishjie?

Um, a little bit of advice:

Learn from your lurking. This thread is not quality product. It will not hold for long.

-Starhammer-

Nah man, nothing like dat.
</SB>

I’ve just had many thoughts on the RD topic. Like, “If you bought a Real Doll, and you don’t punch it in the face while screaming at it about what a dirty whore it is, you wasted your money.”

Plus, everyone knows Real Dolls haven’t cost as little as 5k since a generation or two ago. And if you want to slap a Real Dick onto it $$$$$$$.

Creative troll thread. I enjoyed reading.

For extra lulz you could tell him that she sucked you off after you kidnapped her. The rage he’d feel at being cheated on could make for some more entertainment.

Also looked at real dolls, and wow they dropped in price to 6k. I remember when I first heard about them in 2001 they were 10k. I don’t understand why dudes would buy one, because you could spend that cash in other ways that would land you a real woman. just sayin…

Kidnapped the doll then have a sex tape! Weekend at Bernies 3