Long-time lurker, first-time poster here. To be honest, this is the only place I’d dare to ask for advice and opinions regarding such a situation. Nobody I know in real life knows of this secret operation I have planned, and I’d rather keep it that way.
Firstly, the backstory. I am a single male who conveniently lives alone in an apartment inhabited by a variety of weird and wonderful characters. Perhaps the strangest neighbor I have is the one who resides directly opposite. For the sake of confidentiality, I’ll refer to him as M.
M is what the internet would label a “neckbeard”. He is grossly overweight, hideously unhygienic and a socially impaired creep. My first proper encounter with M occured last year, when I noticed him pacing the corridor and mumbling to himself in a rather distressed manner. Though it was no easy feat, I managed to find out what his problem was. Due to lack of payments, his internet had been cancelled and he was in desparate need to download the latest episode of some Japanese cartoon. By allowing him to use my computer for such download, I was able to plant the first seed of a friendship that would later prove beneficial to me.
In the months that followed, M was more sociable towards me, to the point where he felt comfortable inviting me into his apartment. The whole place is a wretched cave of body odour, candy wrappers and peculiar Japanese merchandise, but it gave me an insight into M’s world.
Now for why I’m here. Recently, M revealed to me a “Real Doll” he purchased from the internet for a whopping $5,000. He’s had the mannequin for about two months and it’s cast a strange spell over him. For example, last week he purchased for the doll a $600 gold necklace and a pair of genuine leather boots. To say that he’s obsessed with this artificial chick is an understatement.
Anyway, in the next few weeks I will be moving to another city and into a new apartment. Before I depart, I was planning on kidnapping M’s doll and demanding a ransom for its safe return. The method would be easy enough: I’ll access M’s apartment through the window via the emergency stairs and load the doll into my car. During the journey, I’ll contact M and ask for cash in return for his beloved woman.
Basically SRK, I want your opinions and advice on such a matter. How screwed will I be legally if cops are added to the mix, how much is a reasonable ransom etc. And before any of you start taking the moral high ground, I know how terrible I am for planning such a thing, but M’s not exactly a saint himself and I need the extra cash. Besides, it’s a mannequin so nobody will be getting hurt.