I’m working on a little project I’d like to invite you all to join in on… a hard-hitting, no-nonsense (lie) look into who the father of Crimson Viper’s baby is! And as any fanfic author will tell you, female characters NEVER have relationships with male characters not featured in the story, so we know the father must be one of these deadbeat dads!
Disclaimer - This is just a silly thread I wanted to post and if some mod gets all serious-catand tells me I posted this in the wrong place, I apologize in advance. But this seems like the best place to do it. So, let’s have some fun! 
***What we know:
- Crimson Viper is an American secret agent, most likely a double-agent sent by the CIA to investigate SIN, Shadaloo’s weapons division. Her real name is Maya.
- Viper travels a lot. Her opening movie shows her in some hotel room.
- Viper’s daughter’s name, presumably, is Lauren, as indicated by the “I Love Lauren!” title she wins in her hard trials.
- Lauren is at least old enough to speak and dial a phone, as one of Viper’s victory poses involves her receiving a phone call from her daughter. Lauren’s side of the conversation is inaudible, but Viper is clearly heard saying “That’s great news, sweetie!” Judging by Viper’s tone, I would say Lauren is probably between 4 to 9 years old.
- Viper has a rather cynical life philosophy, as reflected in her winquote: “My gadgets are cheating? How naive. Nothing in life is fair. Remember that.” This may be reflective of a woman who has been jaded by the father of her child.
The suspects!
Suspect No. 1 - Guile!***
Theory - Like Viper, he’s an American, working for his government, traveling frequently, and investigating Shadaloo. Guile also has a history of trouble at home, and his wife hasn’t aged well. They’ve only had one kid who has to be at least a teenager by now, so if they are still having marital relations they sure ain’t showing it! He may have encountered Viper while investigating Shadaloo and let his sacred vows go flying out the window!
Suspect No. 2 - Balrog!
Theory - Viper, while undercover in Shadaloo, also goes “under cover” with its senior members!
Counter evidence - Balrog is based on Mike Tyson, and as such he probably prefers his women 14 years old and raped.
Suspect No. 3 - Vega!
Theory - Again, Viper may have penetrated the enemy ranks by letting the enemy penetrate her!
Counter evidence - Vega’s so wrapped up in his narcicism he probably prefers masturbating in front of a mirror to actual sex.
Suspect No. 4 - Ken!
Theory - Ken is a player who surely must occasionally feel the need to chew through the leash Eliza has around his neck. Plus we know his seed is plenty verile! Besides, everyone picks Ken!
Suspect No. 5 - El Fuerte!
Theory - Everyone knows women love a man who can cook, and El Fuerte has no shortage of vigor, either!
Suspect No. 6 - Abel!
Theory - Abel met Viper during his time with Shadaloo. He’s a big movie fan, and Viper is the spittin’ image of Angelina Jolie! Now he is faking his amnesia to get out of paying child support.
Additional evidence (by H. Knight) - Also, the French are sophisticated, and gentlemen by nature, but they can wrestle like no other in bed. So, it’s Abel. Viper digs those muscles, likes a nice, dependable guy who is burdened with a “dark side”, and is overworking herself to prevent her grief over his amnesia from overflowing. Her intimidating exterior is only a cover-up for the tender girl she is. A truly tragic pairing!
Suspect No. 7 - Blanka! (by Boogie Knight)
Theory - While in college, Viper was part of an environmental movement dedicated to saving the rainforrest. She and her student group flew to Brazil to chain themselves to trees to prevent them from being cut down. In the middle of the night, a hitman hired by the construction company is sent to kill the students while they are chained to the trees, but they were rescued by Blanka! Enchanted by his animal magnetism, Blanka and Viper then proceed to make “the beast with two backs.” Viper would later add her suit’s electrical attacks in honor of her forbidden lover.
Suspect No. 8 - Dan Hibiki!
Theory - Two words: Pity sex.
Suspect No. 9 - Seth!
Theory - Viper was used by SIN to give birth to the ultimate life form. When Lauren reaches maturity, she will transcend humanity and become a living god (in other words, the ultra-cheap final boss of Street Fighter VII)
Suspect No. 10 - Bison!
Theory - While spying on Shadaloo, Viper became Bison’s concubine. Lauren now possesses a fraction of Bison’s soul, and Bison has his henchmen closely monitoring her in case he ever needs it. You know, kind of like keeping a spare tire in your trunk in case you ever get a flat.
Theory No. 2 - Bison and Viper were like Anakin Skywalker and Padme; Bison’s deep love for Viper and fear of losing her drive him to take desperate actions that ultimately turn him into a supervillain! After Bison’s fall to the dark side, Viper delivers their child in secret and now carries the emotional scars of her broken heart.
Suspect No. 11 - Birdie!
Theory - Viper and Birdie meet at a support group for fighting game characters with stupid hair. Lauren is a bad-hair prodigy who will grow up to look like this!
Suspect No. 12 - Zangief!
Theory - Before assigned to Shadaloo, Viper is working an assignment in Russia. However, Zangief discovers her true identity and the two begin wrestling. Somewhere during the struggle, their anger gives way to passion. Happens all the time (in James Bond movies).
Suspect No. 13 - Sagat!
Theory - Chicks dig scars. Ryu did him a HUGE favor.
Suspect No. 14 - Honda! (By Graveheart)
Theory - Like the Zangief scenario, Viper was assigned to a foreign country, in this case Japan. After completing her mission, she took in a sumo match and saw E. Honda victorious. Meeting up with him afterwards, the two began to spar and Honda captured her in his trademark bearhug. While being crushed, she came to realize that while indeed bone crushing, this was Honda’s way of making up for his inability to find a woman by being self-concious about his weight. Moved by Honda’s inner-sensitivity, the bearhug becomes a lot closer. One thing leads to another and Lauren falls out pretty easily.
Suspect No. 15 - Charlie! (By Mikros)
Theory - Maybe he took Guile’s advice to heart and went home and became a family man. Also, he and “Maya” seem to get along quite well in SF:TLoC
Suspect No. 16 - Cammy! (By Mikros)
Theory - If a black-haired dictator of Asian descent can clone himself and get a blonde white chick, God only knows what that blonde white chick is capable of.
Suspect No. 17 - T. Hawk! (By Boogie Knight)
Theory - No real justification, other than an ill-advised move by Capcom to make him relevant.
Suspect No. 18 - Gen!
Theory - Gen can really impress the ladies with his ability to switch style and positions. Put those pointy fingers to work!
Suspect No. 19 - Dhalsim!
Theory - Just because he’s a man of the cloth doesn’t mean he can’t have secret, second families. Just ask Jesse Jackson. It should also be noted that Dhalsim’s ability to stretch any part of his body (wink-wink-nudge-nudge-say-no-more) is the main reason Viper now wears those giant glasses; she doesn’t want to get poked in the eye (again)
Suspect No. 20 - Ryu!
Theory - Ryu is cool and mysterious. Just look at how badass he is in the Malibu comics.
Counter-evidence - Yes, I was being sarcastic just now.
Suspect No. 21 - Gill! (by Madden:RobotBMX2K9)
Theory - Abel might be a prototype of Urien. We all know Urien is the inferior brother of Gil. Abel lost his memory and. Abel has that c.hp that Urien has. Remember the story of Kane and Abel? It’s an obvious reference to the Bible’s story of two brothers who hate each other. Abel also has the same hairstyle as Urien and Urien loks like an older Abel.
So who’s the baby daddy? Gil. Viper was on the inside of SIN right? There is obvious evidence that SIN, Gil, Seth, Urien, and Abel are connected imo.
How does viper play into this?
Well viper has a relationship with Abel. Viper cheats on her brother, Seth!!! Viper doesn’t know she’s pregnant of course, she thought just got fat for whatever reason, she gets a baby, Viper tells Abel the kid is his, but Viper (or as Abel calls her, Maya-poo) is unsure. Viper tells him he is unsure if it is Abel’s because she cheated on him with Seth!
Dna Tests show that it’s Seths! So Viper gets SIN technology and uses it on Abel to erase his memory. Years later Abel becomes Urien and Seth becomes Gil. They hate each other because Urien eventually finds out later, Maya-poo tells Urien about his past out of guilt!
This list is a work in progress so if you have any suspects to add or addition evidence or counter-evidence to contribute feel free to post them.
