Ask your friend to cover you with sand, then make love to mother earth.
Fuck it! Get a penis enlarger, use the morning before you go and walk around that beach like a boss.
Nobody will care that you have a boner if it looks like you got a baseball bat between your legs.
the nude beach i’m going to gets frequented by a lot of young people; most under 35 year olds.
but the biggest problem on my hands, is that i have fine cousins. this is not opinion, it’s a fact. all of my friends who met my cousins said they would wreck em in a heartbeat. and i don’t blame them, they have fine curves complimented with plump butts and perky nips. honestly, i feel uncomfy around them. oh and they make a great effort to mow the landing strip.
i have some xany bars. i think i will have to combine that with the oxy to keep the ship at bay. if that doesn’t work, i will have to stand in the water
Get some pics of your cousins for me dog.
Jerk it, yank it, do it, makes us;
Softer, better!, flaccid shorter.
Give each of your balls a mohawk and preen like a mofo.
How about you man up and have a blast scaring stupid nudists away with your boner or you either talk with your cousins about your problem, maybe one of them has a solution. And since you feel uncomfortable around them it means you like them, tell them about it too and maybe you’ll score some legal incest bro
Just keep your eyes closed the whole time.
Just sit in the water.
Nude beaches are so unbalanced.
God Tier:
Showies
Low Tier:
Growies
Growies only have a chance if they’re erect, but its situational and leaves them hella exposed to other problems.
Yeah dont bring binoculars, or a camera its creepy. I happened to stumble upon a nude beach and had a camera around my neck, not even taking pictures and some hot chick immediately shunned me.
LMAO… damn dude, are you creating a fanfic from some ecchi/hentai anime shows or games you been playing or watching recently?
wait.wait wait,
so your going to the nude beach with your fine cousins and you have a wood problem?
hmmm…you only live once…I say let your wood be free if one of them touches it then they made the first move you didnt…you have full authority to blow your load…
Spoiler
or you could just not go to the beach
I still say this is a golden opportunity to scratch something cool off your bucket list. When you get to the beach, go to your nearest changing room and start stroking till right up to the point when you’re about to bust but don’t finish. That way little Richard there is at its hardest raging level. Now strut out side with Kanye’s swag and walk up and down the beach, surveying the lands. Every 10 paces or so, give yourself 2 strokes, not to cum, just enough to keep it raging hard.
Anyone try to talk to you, you just tell them “not now chef, I’m in the fucking zone” and keep right on walking.
Like a bauce.
You know, whenever I got hard down there, I would always solve math problems in my head. It was enough to keep ol’ Jimmy down for a little while.
Get really fat so your dick becomes hidden
Thread of the year nominee?
Laugh at anyone whose junk is smaller than yours.
Build a sand castle over your dick.
ew, your description of your cousins is giving me a de-boner right now >_<
the part about the landing strip is what sealed the flaccid deal.