For those of you that had hopes for the new Fantastic Four Reboot........have a seat

General Discussion
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2nd’d. Would be a really good movie if they could do his backstory from that run. They’d definitely have to change the ending for a movie adaptation, but they can definitely borrow most it for his backstory.

BTW, anyone know how Doom, uhhh…answers nature’s call in the suit? I’m trying to catch up on the older comics with read throughs, but i don’t remember a mention of it. Gotta let the dragon out of doomstadt at some point, amirite?

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Tony answered that question in Iron Man 2

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Reviews are starting to trickle in. Movie currently has 5 reviews on Rotten Tomato and a 20% rating.

So far, this snippet sums it up the best

“Fantastic Four feels like a 100-minute trailer for a movie that never happens.” -Todd McCarthy

Full Review

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And I saw on the net that they are even considering doing a sequel.

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Well that’s just obvious. At this point in time you don’t make a comic book movie if you aren’t thinking about sequels.

Not that they’ll have to worry about it when this movie crashes and burns.

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I saw this at an early screening.

Don’t.

EDIT: After thinking about it, I would argue this is worse than Pixels. If nothing else, with Pixels you know what the point of the story is: Beat the alien invaders with (bad) approximations of video games. In F4, things just happen. That is how the movie starts, progresses, and ends.

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Come on, give us the full rundown of the badness.

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Soooooooooo…The Last Airbender then?

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Right here. What’s up?

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The full Todd Mccarthy review, highlights include “maddeningly lame and unimaginative” and “a film that’s all wind-up and no delivery.”

https://www.yahoo.com/movies/heres-the-thing-about-fantastic-four-its-125872066562.html

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Some examples:

  • First 10 minutes or so is Ben and Reed as kids. Soon Ben goes over to Reed’s place and sees his teleporter, made up of 80’s computers (maybe earlier) and the Nintendo 64 controller. Jump 7 years after, and we’re in a world with smartphones already.
  • Reed makes a teleporter in high school, and whatever he transfers, he “trades” it with something on the other side, unknown dirt of a sort. Sue and Franklin Storm tell him, yeah, that’s the problem with teleporters. We found the dirt too, from another dimension’s planet. We think that place got resources that can save Earth. But we can’t bring anything back…but they also have samples of dirt that proves the dirt is not from Earth? What? So…they can bring something back?
  • Anyway, they want to build a teleporter because Earth is dying? Why? Cause…hippy thinking, I guess. This is why Victor Von Doom is a dick - he thinks the previous generation fucked the world. He’s all like, “Yo, if I find another home, screw Earth.”
  • Sue Storm is listening to Portishead early in the movie. This is to establish later on that music helps her think better. In the same scene, Reed talks about how great a book is, and that becomes his undoing (read the spoilers to find out how)
  • Johnny is introduced to the movie racing recklessly, pushing his car so hard it bursts into flames and crashes, which spans maybe 8 minutes, to establish his character. When he joins the team, it turns out he is the sensible one, having doubts about the trip that will fuck them all up. He also apparently can build anything, which is established early when he specifies that the car that bursts into flames was built by him personally.
  • Ben is basically Reed’s lackey. He’s not involved with the building of the teleporter, but after he becomes The Thing, he works for the US government…a specialist in Covert Ops and they now have a 100% success rate with those missions…even though there’s lots of videos and reports about his existence.
  • So they needed everyone else to build the teleporter…but the US Government says no, you cannot ride it, they’ll send a team. So Victor’s all like “Fuck this, Reed, John, let’s drink” and then they decide to go into the teleporter. Sue’s not there, but Reed calls Ben who just…walks into super high security shit by himself.

Spoilers for about 1 hour 30 minutes in regarding the origin of their powers (yes, that late…and the movie doesn’t reach 2 hours)

[details=Spoiler]On the other planet, Reed, Johnny, Ben and Victor explore new planet. Want to plant flag as a fuck you to US Gov as they were there first. When they plant flag, green energy in the ground cracks and there is a source that starts fucking things up. Reed and Victor, b eing mad scientists go to check it out and causes an explosion. They all try to escape, Victor is lost into the green energy and has to be abandoned.

The rest get to their escape pod. By this time on the other side, SUe’s trying to get them back so they coordinate and they escape! WIth a few hiccups:

  • Ben’s door got stuck open, so when they teleported, rocks were falling into his section by the explosions
  • When they got back Johnny was on fire
  • Reed tries to help the others after getting back, but his feet was stuck under debris…at least he managed to stretch himself
  • Sue got knocked out by the parts of the explosion that came back, and started phasing in and out of existence

Then they all get locked up by government. Then Reed escapes, and he bumps into Ben and he’s like I’M SORRY BRO I’LL FIX YOU then he leaves and fucks off for a year and does fuck all. Turns out he wants to teleport back to the other side, I guess to find a cure? But Sue manages to track Reed down because she remembered he liked reading a book and she puts headphones on (FORESHADOWING!). Then they send some army guys and Ben to bring Reed in.

Btw, Sue didn’t want to work with US Gov, but they said a line and she’s like OK.
Similarly, after Reed is brought in he’s like YO I DON’T WANNA HELP YOU GUYS MAKE ANOTHER TELEPORTER but they’re like “Naw man, help us, we try cure you guys” and he’s like “Ok. I can fix this in 10. Maybe less.” Yes, he fixes code for a new teleporter that he has never seen by staring at it for a while.
[/details]

Endgame spoilers regarding Lavatoryman

[details=Spoiler]A Gov team goes to the

Doom is rescued from the other dimension and comes back. Turns out he has super duper powers that include blowing people’s head up from inside for no reason, even when he’s walking or doing something else. When he finally confronts the F4, he challenges them with his ability…to slowly summon rocks and throw them…this scene happens maybe 2 minutes after blowing heads up. Nethearrealm level nerfing schedule.[/details]

Anyway that’s just off the top of my head.

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You liar!

It’s at 13%… and going down.

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Really?

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So it appears they did try to do something different from the typical superhero popcorn flick. Sounds like they couldn’t save this movie even with the reshoots, final product feels like it was made by multiple directors.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WjsgDTbEF9g

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See you guys in 4 years when then next reboot is announced.

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Molecular shield!

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does Fox just own the rights to the name, or do they also own the rights to the lore

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I want to see it now, I wouldn’t pay to see it, but when it hits netflix I will just to see how bad it is lol.

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just wait next year there will be a other reboot.