For those of you that had hopes for the new Fantastic Four Reboot........have a seat

Don_Barracuda · August 3, 2015, 8:30pm

oh man…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=epBxZcugnhE
"I’m a toe guy…"

http://www.etonline.com/news/2015/04/24146515/whatarewedoing.gif

tataa8P · August 3, 2015, 10:16pm

dn3000:

Sooo a guy that has seen a preview screening spills all… yes spoilers and yes wall of text…

[details=Spoiler]
I’ve seen it. Nobody will believe me, but I saw a preview screening as a plus one with a friend that works in the industry. I love comic book films, and I even thoroughly enjoyed the first two Fantastic films for what they were. Nobody is going to fucking believe how bad this film is, from beginning to end. There is NO soul in this movie. Jamie Bell is okay, but Mr Fantastic, Johnny, and Sue are horribly mis-cast. Miles Teller, who is a fine actor, is terrible in this. He clearly had no interest in the material. The villain is a joke, and is actually part of their fucking family, and then comes back “Wrong”.

This movie is like it was directed by a child and produced by Christopher Nolan. They should have just called the movie Dark and Moody: The Seriously Dark and Moody Comic Book Movie. IT IS TERRIBLE. Probably a 2 out of 10. This movie will bomb. I doubt it clears 25 million for the weekend next week. There will be no sequel, there will be no X-Men crossover. Probably will score in the teens on Rotten Tomatoes, if that. It looks over-produced and saturated in darkness. Garbage. Any 5 minutes of Ant-Man is better than this film.

Q) is victor a childhood friend?

More than just his childhood friend, he is basically his brother. Reeds father takes him in as a child and raises them together. And you know this crap never works in comic book movies, when they try to connect everyone and everything together. Cue large chunks of wasted time and film with poorly written family drama. Even the effects are dodgy, but EVERYTHING is gloomy. Reeds powers are the worst. The stretching effects are terrible. Oh, and by the way, he doesn’t actually stretch at all. His body shape does not change. He is able to warp the space time around himself and manipulate it so it LOOKS like he is able to stretch. Ooooohh so scientific and more real now! Look what we learned from the Dark Knight movies! We don’t have to go to space like the comic, we will just hop to another dimension and get “dimension travel sickness” from making the trip which will forever alter our atoms at a molecular level. We don’t have powers, we have science and stuff! So fucking lame.

q) is doom a blogger?
Okay, so here’s what happens with the first trip. Sue is not part of the team at first, she gets to do the whiny why don’t I ever get to do anything trip because black daddy is over protective of her. In the first portal trip, Victor goes off by himself, and they have to return without him. Sue only joins the team to go back and find him and bring him back, that is why Victor is more “changed” because he was in the dimension longer. His power comes from the pull created by the dimensions wanting to combine together, he is now part of both dimensions and can tap into that power bridging the two dimensions. Sue really is a side character in this film, and her invisibility is what is concentrated on. She creates NO force shield of any kind in this movie until like the last two minutes she figures out she can do it and uses it once.

He is not so much a blogger, as much he believes is “free information.” He is like a hipster version of a old school hacker. He a technology expert, but displays like shut in hacker behavior. He believes all humans have the right to everything, all tech and all info for free. He is hacker/nerd/hipster/goth and his character is just a mess. I would guess they filmed his entire part, and then did not like it and went back and filmed a bunch of little scenes to make the character seem “cooler” because even though he is not bad or evil, he comes off as a deushe bag. And then when he comes back from the portal, he is not really even bad or evil, he just wants to give everyone on the planet a chance to evolve like he did. He’s not evil, he’s just really emotional, so with great power and woosey whiney behavior, he just decides to do whatever he wants cause he can. But he is not menacing, he is a powerful, petulant child basically.

And finally, and most horribly, Sue is not invisible. She does not gain the power of invisibility. Her atoms can move so fast she can’t be seen by the human eye. So it’s not magic or powers . . .it’s science bro. And oh my god … . the Thing.

He is not stone or block or rock or whatever anybody ever thought he was . . his body does not change. He does not “grow bigger.” He has the heightened ability of a evolved mollusk, and his body grows a nearly impenetrable SHELL . … let that soak in . . SHELL! Like a fucking ninja turtle . . and the SHELL, while nearly impenetrable, has the ability to change itself in real time to “absorb” impact. So the little dude is still in there basically, covered in a huge FUCKING SHELL when it’s time to fight. My god, I bet when they first screened this film at the studio, somebody probably tried to strangle Josh Trank.

No fucking way would they EVER let this dude direct a Star Wars movie. Not sure how this went so bad, but it is really that bad, not just being negative, I wanted to like it, but there was just no fucking way. The music is not half bad though during the film, but the closing theme music is a fucking terrible mess of electronic nonsense that just reminds you of the jumbled mess you just watched.

q) can the thing turn back into human form?
At first it is purely reactionary, it happens when he feels threatened or scared, but of course by the end of the movie he can change pretty much at will, which is completely a plot line lifted from the Hulk in Marvel’s film. Of course this completely ruins the character, not being forced to live as a monster pretty much negates his entire character arc. Actually, most of the ideas in this movie are stolen from successful movies.

The “real” and “dark” tone is stolen from the Nolan Batman movies and Man of Steel, The Thing’s storyline is a copy of the Hulk from Marvel, Sue having mommy issues and dead parent issues is stolen from Batman and Spiderman, Reed’s, although much younger, storyline of losing control of his world and also his fear of failing everyone is lifted right from Iron-Man’s Tony Stark issues, Johnny is basically the fuck up brother who never takes anything seriously until he becomes a man, which takes about twenty minutes of screen time. He represents the coming of age storyline which has been done to death in countless movies, he comes off as a black Peter Parker from the crappy Amazing Spiderman films.

And don’t expect a lot of action scenes, except for the obviously CGI heavy final battle between Reeds science team and his mad wittle brother. You see, brother wants to use the dimensional portal they created to give everyone the “dimensional travel sickness” so the whole populace will change at a molecular level as well. He is not really even evil, he just wants to force the next stage of evolution. He basically is trying to do the same thing Magneto did at the end of the first X-Men. But Reed is smarter than him, and realizes it will change the atoms of everything on the planet, not just people, and likely end all life on earth.

Basically they fight at the portal, stuff from both dimensions intermingles and flies around, Victor beats the shit out of them, and then they team up like they did at the end of the first Fantastic Four movie, where they combined their powers, but of course here, they kinda just walk into each other, combing at a molecular level, and become more powerful and take Victor down. It’s a over-dramatic CGI fuckfest of a final battle. So you have the beginning of the movie, the fake brothers growing up together doing science stuff.

The oreo cookie wonder twins who tragically lost their mother, even tho Sue is adopted, so technically I guess she lost three parent total. DRAMA. They all grow up super smart, they open a portal, the go through, they are attached by horrible, grey and black CGI world, they come back, they are different now, Victor is a bit more moody now, was kinda EMO but now more kinda punk and dickish, the military is suspicious, they start to change, the military freaks the fuck out, then wants them as weapons, but black daddy says NO! they are not weapons.

And then he weaponizes them and sends them out to save the world, just like he told the military not to do, but at some point he realized it is their destiny, because now they know everything is tied together, the stars, the planets, people, all life at the molecular level is the same, everything is family, they are all family, we are family, I got all my sisters (and brothers) and me.

Also, Victor does not die. Also, there is no after credits stinger, Also, other then learning about and then practicing their powers, there is not major action until the finale.[/details]

Save your money guys… download this shit…

you just saved me a good bit of bandwidth and HD space in a span of 5 minutes. cheers!

oh, and boo for this clusterfuck of a “movie”. knew it was gonna tank…

jimmy1200 · August 3, 2015, 11:34pm

I’m so glad this movie is even worse than i thought. Where are the fuckers in this thread that were gonna give this shit a chance. lol. Please dont even make 100 million in total. I’d love for this movie to barely make its budget. Thank god ff4 isnt a franchise i really give a shit about, but i am kinda pissed how they treat doom. Total waste of a villain.

Fox and sony, are you only employing autistics, and pedophiles? How is this so hard for them.

dn3000 · August 4, 2015, 12:09am

I feel you on that one… yes its criminal…why cant they just copy the cartoons?

https://youtu.be/BC3xYAgthkA?t=265

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=suW0AOAAnic

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q5FcKAe4M1w

Colonel-Gilgamesh · August 4, 2015, 12:47am

Part of the problem is that Doom is much, MUCH higher up the food chain than a movie would allow, as whenever Doom is off being DR MUTHAFUCKIN DOOM, he has to whoop the ass of universal/cosmic/multiversal level threats.

Lets assume a 3 act structure for a movie. In act 1 we need to introduce all the characters and setup a core conflict. Act two would involve an adaptation by the heroes and a ramp up of conflict. Act 3, everything comes to a head when the conflict is resolved.

Now, lets assume Doom is going to be in the movie. Part of what makes Doom Doom is how much we know about him. We know EXACTLY what we are dealing with which is why we respect him. In a movie going scene, there is not enough time to develop a story that particularly meaningful for the villain. Usually, it’s hard enough to set one up for the heroes. Doom without his backstory is not DR MUTHAFUCKIN DOOM as we know him. He’s closer to a Snidely Whiplash Scheme-Of-The-Week kind of dude, especially when isolated to the Fantastic Four themselves. You can really see this in how the various animated shows and movies went. This was the Doom that would shout ‘CURSE YOU RICHAAAAAAARDS’ as he was standing amidst the rubble of his well laid plans. This is not the DR MUTHAFUCKIN DOOM that recently killed a race of uber space gods and took their omnipotence for himself. Lets assume then that they try to emulate Doom’s actions doing so in a movie. The threat would not be treated as massive enough for Doom stealing it to be as crap your pants ‘this is bad’ as Secret Wars would be. If the threat is meant to be big but gets knocked out in the second act, it was not that big in the first place. This backlashes negatively on Doom for stealing the power of a not even the final act threat. The ordinarily BIG THREAT TO END THE UNIVERSE does not have the benefit of three acts to develop, only two, cheapening everything. So Doom making plans is neutered due to the Snidley effect and Doom kicking gods in the nads is neutered because they don’t feel like gods.

Long story short, Doom is simply too badass to be confined to a three act structure a movie would provide.

Saitsu · August 4, 2015, 1:42am

If that synopsis is true, and so far I don’t see too much that contradicts it otherwise, then FF will be back in Marvel’s hand within two weeks.

Colonel-Gilgamesh · August 4, 2015, 2:03am

Anyone know what the budget was to make this thing?

SoVi3t · August 4, 2015, 2:16am

$120 million.

Apparently the cast hasn’t even seen it.

Wil · August 4, 2015, 3:01am

I’m guessing this movie will be Adam Sandler’s Pixels tier.

dab00g · August 4, 2015, 3:16am

So like most of the problems from ultimate fantastic four

Graphic · August 4, 2015, 3:23am

Wow that sounds like a shitty movie. I can see why so little advertising has been done for it, the studio is keeping the financial damage to a minimum.

The_Damned · August 4, 2015, 3:32am

(I think that you could do Dr. Doom in a standard “three-part arc” movie, even though, yes, it would be difficult to do it well.)

The problem is that a) Hollywood is lazily formulaic, b) smart plots are generally anathema to most screenwriters and c) American movies almost never allow the “villain” to win, which is what Doom does half of the time, at least for a longer while than the usual “second-act nadir for our heroes before they inevitably win in the end”. On top of that, the whole “Nolan gritty” kick for a lot of (lesser) superheroes movies is still on-going even though it only really works for Batman, Punisher and maybe a few others.

I don’t disagree that Dr. Doom would probably work best if he had his own movie to be set-up in though. That or if he was in the background of another movie before he’s the main antagonist for the proceeding one, which also invites the problems of audience attention span being short and continuity lockout for people who either didn’t see the preceding movie or don’t know jack about comic books.

Honestly, though, even with those issues, it’s pretty clear that with the two film versions of Doom we got, they didn’t even try.

Please don’t say that. I’m still sad and angry–sangry?–that Pixels made at least $250 million dollars when it should have made nowhere near that much. So let’s not jinx it given how fucking stupid people are, even when there aren’t holds on reviews; how the fuck does that even legally work anyway?

If anything, then let us “hope” that this movie will end up being FIFA movie tier a.k.a. making only about $600~ bucks back, which would still be way more than it’s worth.

Not that I have anything against anyone in the cast. If anything, then the less people see it, the less damage to their careers. The screenwriter(s) and director can rot though.

Colonel-Gilgamesh · August 4, 2015, 3:37am

I would LOVE to have a movie done by Marvel on Books of Doom

The_Damned · August 4, 2015, 4:41am

(Ugh. There were so many typos in that last post. They’re gone now.)

I would also like them to do a movie based on Doom where, if he’s not the “hero”, then he’s at least the protagonist.

Alas, we’re unlikely to get that. Marvel might have done it if Fox didn’t have the rights to the FF for so long, but I’m not sure where they could fit it in at this point even if they did/do get the rights to the Fantastic Four back.

On the forced optimism side, however, we at least have Fox attempt to “translate” Books of Doom and predictably butcher them with their repeatedly proven ineptitude.

Don_Barracuda · August 4, 2015, 10:04pm

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n-8w4Sv50zE

Hawkingbird · August 5, 2015, 12:34am

Not even the movie’s cast has seen the movie yet. Miles Teller, the actor who plays Reed doesn’t believe the movie will do well critically

welp

Saitsu · August 5, 2015, 1:08am

Makes me wonder if he’s actually seen any Marvel movies if he thinks most of them are soulless popcorn.

Marvel’s biggest asset is that they do put soul into their movies, or at least attempt to. They try to change up the formula. Just trying to be “dramatic and thought provoking” isn’t enough because people can smell Oscar Bait and Hipster Bait setups from a mile away.

Nolan needs to teach these fools that it’s not enough to just make your movie grimdark.

Colonel-Gilgamesh · August 5, 2015, 1:13am

I think he was referring to how FOX wanted it to be soulless popcorn and the actors did what they could with the script.

odin · August 5, 2015, 1:23am

Sounds like Snyder made this movie.

po_pimpus · August 5, 2015, 1:44am

We’ll get you out of Fox Movie Hell one day, Victor…

One day…