Said support structure sounds like it’s based around entering a committed, monogamous relationship. Or did you mean something like arranged marriage or being part of an affluent family?
I don’t remember insinuating sex should only happen within a marriage.
I think you’re lying about knowing three families torn apart by Ashley Madison.
Again, I’m not debating whether or not the cheating has an effect on the children. It obviously does. What I’m saying is that most of the time it’s the parents failure to mitigate those effects that causes the most harm. Cheating is called cheating because it cheats the partner. It has absolutely nothing to do with that person’s children aside from the results of the failed relationship. I might add that that relationship probably wasn’t all too healthy to begin with, particularly if the cheating was in the form of utilizing a secret website for it.
Of course it’s not only about sex, but that’s what’s central to all romantic relationships, which marriage is. If you say otherwise you’re delusional. Sex is what drives all such relationships. Sex is central to marriage and ultimately infidelity.
You do not tear down and degrade your children’s parent like that. What’s going to happen when that child becomes part of a step family? Now you’ve created a divisive family. It’s better for that child to know that their parents are separating, that it’s not their fault, and let that be the end of it.
They’re children. They don’t need to feel hurt just because you got hurt. That’s the epitome of selfishness. You don’t go confiding to your children for emotional support like some weakling.
I’ll get back with you.
The legitimacy of what case? I’ve never cheated. I’ve never been cheated on. Well, at least not by my wife. I don’t have to claim legitimacy. And again, I’m not arguing that cheating doesn’t affect children. Get that in your head. Now, you said “broken households,” though, and that’s a different story. Divorce does not have to result in dysfunctional families, which is exactly my point. Of course broken homes affect kids negatively. But a divorce, which is between the parents, the parents the parents, and NOT the children, does not have to result in a broken family. The children may have two homes, but neither have to be broken. That often results because of the parents inability to act as adults, and that’s a different story for a different day.
Please continue to make attacks on my ego and the experts that I haven’t even listed for you yet. that makes your arguments sound much stronger.
You’re a parent. You don’t use your children as a god damned emotional rag. You tell them enough to let them know what’s happening and then you go take care of yourself like the adult you’re supposed to be.
The reason that the social workers and judges tell people this is because 9 times out of 10, people have their children mixed right up in their problems with their spouse. They would like to see parents mindful of maintaining their children’s dignity and innocence instead of leveraging all of the shit they can’t handle onto a child, which is essentially what ends up happening.
That’s not at all the same as saying that marital problems don’t affect children. Get that out of your head.
You’re not the one insinuating it. You said that people shouldn’t get married if they feel that they cannot commit to one person faithfully. Well, some people are practically forced into marriage.
Example: Jehovah’s Witnesses. The only way to have a sexual relationship is to marry. The only way to date someone is to marry. the only way to live with someone of the opposite sex is to marry.
Doing any of those outside of marriage will result in being shunned by your family and friends. I cannot speak for other religions, but it’s pretty obvious that anyone with a natural sex drive is pretty much forced to marry or else forever struggle with their natural inborn Human desires.
Or to emancipate themselves from insanity, like a certain admirable guy I know that’s made a few tough calls himself.
(And someone else predictably uses the current discussion to be vaguely racist. I can’t say I’m surprised about that either.)
Anyway, I would laugh at how some people seem to be ignoring that society basically heavily pressures people into wanting marriage in various ways if it wasn’t so sad.
That said, I can get behind this notion:
Ignoring what I said in the first sentence, which applies to your question, I basically agree. If someone legitimately thinks marriage is important because of their own personal convictions and are genuinely doing it because they actually want to after thorough self-examination and they think they can be with one person for the rest of their life post-marriage and barring widowing, then I’m totally behind those people.
I just don’t think nearly as many people are capable of this as they want to believe, which they likely only want to believe since society (and religion) basically tells you’re immoral and worthless if you don’t want a relationship with a “soulmate” of the opposite sex, even though at least three things are utter bullshit about that paradigm. So it really is not like it’s part of people’s nature at all, which is/was at least one of my personal points about so called “morality”.
It’s just that society and religion like pretend such conviction is natural because, again, the myth of monogamy is both economically profitable and religiously powerful. Similarly, it’s the dissatisfaction with that myth and allure of infidelity that was profitable for Ashley Madison. So it’s no real surprise that so many paid for it and used the service even if it was stupid and even if they didn’t necessarily use it.
All this bullshit happening in this thread is why religion and government shouldn’t mix.
I see marriage as a business transaction. Two individuals are combining their resources both economically as well as emotionally. Married couples are afforded privileges by the IRS and in a court of law, as well as by private companies. The nature of the contract between these two individuals is pretty much between them, but the state is obligated to afford them the same privileges if they chose to marry.
All this is really easy for me to say, I’m relatively young and have never really been in love, but I can’t help but see marriage strictly from a legal lens.
Why would i lie about that? Check out it’s FB page and see how many people are speaking the experiences.
If you think cheating on a spouse has nothing to do with the children then you are completely out of your mind and you certainly don’t have any normal views on values. This is a family we are talking about and anything that the parent(s) do will affect the children, if a parent is able to betray the spouse, he/she also ends up betraying the entire household at the same time. Healthy families are a unit who actually love each other.
If sex is more important to you, then the wellbeing of your own children and also the feelings of the other person then you are a complete douche bag.
I’m sorry Manx, but this is a horrible point of view that you are throwing out. It’s like you barely want to apply any form of normal human thought into what you are saying. You can’t just make a child accept the fact that his parents are now separated, even if you tell them that it isn’t their fault they will still be affected by it. How the fuck are you even an adult Manx to not even understand something we’re supposed to learn during middle school in basic psychology?
But they will get hurt. This “they don’t need to feel hurt” is incredibly silly now. My god Manx, how can you actually feel any form of intelligence from what you’ve just said in this specific quote? Parents are not using their kids to support them from their emotions, parents are supposed to be there to support their kids. Your logic on this issue is screwed up.
The case of you taking child caring class, that you know people who blah blah, you just made up those arguments to make your arguments intelligent (when it isn’t). You are getting more illogical from what you are saying; how the hell can a split up family not be considered a broken home? The kids are not living under the same roof of both of their parents that is already a broken home. Families are supposed to be a group of people who love each other and if the parents are not doing that, then the family is therefore dysfunctional.
How the hell did you read that as pushing your emotions on to a child? The sad thing about this whole post of yours is the massive ignorance you have. You think a child at the age of 6-10 will be able to fully understand the parents emotions or reasons for their decision by a talk? Just stop it already.
Yet you think they can somehow understand and handle all the aspects of infidelity?
This Manx guy must be feeling happier than he has ever been on this site being able to spam his atheism with out getting decked in the throat by the ONE who is undefeated.
I see this thread has brought out all the magic-believers out of the woodwork.
I don’t recall a single person asking for your worthless opinion.
I don’t even know why Mayweather would give a fuck if Manx doesn’t believe in magic?
I didn’t state an opinion, i’ve stated a fact. I don’t understand why you are trying to build an image for yourself by trying to e-fight me. I recall your other lame thread in where you hit the lol button on me and then switched to the disagree which shows you are trying to be accepted in some girlyman posse. You are a rip off poster whose entire persona was nothing more than material ripped off from the greatest poster of srk. At least i came/talk in this site with pure originality so don’t try to talk down on me.
I agree, these atheists should just stfu and gtfo.
That dilution part is really interesting question.
I have never in my entire life have met a woman that is fit for long term legitimate marriage. And a lot of females that I meet outside school have kids alreadybamd divorced.
Is marrieage even still a good thing. Or is it bad not only for myself, but more importantly; does it damage the children in the long run.
And if so, how does one raise kids in a society not bound by the rules, but is drowned in them anyway.
I like how you talk about non-magic believers like we are the crazy ones lol
Keep believing in your grown-up Santa Claus, loser. Your imagination is as big as you let it be!
Atheists are magic believers. You guys are like loud bums outside the museum yelling as to how all the art and inventions just made itself out of a brilliant accident and we should agree with you on that. Keep believing in your “poof we just got here” and how it is all ok for men to surgically alter their bodies into women, girlyman.
Because the Big Bang is accepted, doesn’t mean it’s 100% right. But you are right, the smart thing to do is to fill in any scientific gaps with “God did it”. Cause we should all be living in the 8th century, right? Backwards idiot.
And who cares if men want to alter their bodies? Who cares if women want to alter their bodies? Who gave you the right to decide what makes people happy?
I see you edited in "girlyman."
Nice b8 m8, I doubt you even believe in the garbage you spew.
The Big Bang was proposed by a priest, that is our shit not yours. I would fill “someone did it” because that is the only logical thing to fill in, why should i insert “it just happened” in? I have not seen an explosion generate excellent working systems but only a complete non functioning mess. We should be living like men, men who rely on visual data to resort to a logical ground to stand on and there is no visual data of what i’ve mentioned, then i will give the same conclusion that i would give to any form of systematical mechanism (like computers, buildings, aquariums…) which is: it was intelligently made not “popped out of thin air”. You will be hitting the like button on your atheist friends when they come in to help you out be but i’ve read and memorized most of the posts of the Undefeated religion thread champion so they will go down just like they always did. You wanted to hi-jack this thread and make a religion debate, you will get it. In the ass.
lol Do you even read what you write? Your mental gymnastics are strong. You are sounding real stupid now.
A priest proposed the Big Bang. As in, “I believe in god, but a man of god said god didn’t create the universe. But it’s ours, even though it’s not created by god.” Who cares if “your” priest proposed it, HE STILL INTENDED TO SAY GENESIS IS A METAPHOR.
God is logical? lol Why not a giant dragon or a cinder block? Just because some 7th century goat herders thought of a “superior being” made everything, their word is gold? Is the world flat? Are natural disasters caused by a man in the sky too? You believe everything you read without looking for evidence?
" I have not seen an explosion generate excellent working systems but only a complete non functioning mess." Because you obviously never had billions of year to look over. Do you just pretend you went to school?
Anyways back on topic
I was skimming through this long ass list here in NY and nothing as of yet as far as who I know. But it’s overwhelming how there’s Millions of PAID members on this site LOL