You start as a 10 year old kid kicked out of your home by your single mother and forced to wander the world catching wild animals and enslaving them in balls. These animals pop up and try to attack you every one or two steps in high grass and half of the world is high grass. You can also challenge others with animals to battles, and order your creatures to kill each other.These animals look as though they’ve been horribly mutated, some with tongues longer then their bodies and others just looking like a rock. Upon roaming the world you come across a incompetent evil organization who try to steal these creatures from others or something. Instead of using any threatening means to accomplish there goals like using a gun, they instead challenge you to a battle and their main creature of choice is a rat.
In this game you star a racist Japanese martial artist out to prove that the japanese are the strongest race in the world by selectively picking fights with chinese women, brazillian orphans, inferior half japanese karate users, east indian beggars, the cancer stricken elderly, and savage african american thugs.
You wake up on a cursed island, takes two steps, fall off a little floating land mass and GAME OVER. You start again, figure out where you can walk, only to be immediately killed by a giant kraken - GAME OVER. You start over again, make it to land avoiding the kraken. You see a shield on the other side of a wooden bridge. You walk up the bridge, until a mosquito starts attacking you and pushes you off in the water - GAME OVER. You start again, this time running across a different wood bridge, flying over the gap in it and to the other side where you climb up a tower and acquire some kind of spinning red fire orb. You use it and it spins around and disappears. Oops. Then you fall off the tower and die.
Jimmy is not Brasilian. 
I have never had the pleasure of playing King’s Field.
But this sounds an awful lot like Demon’s/Dark Souls.
So I’m calling it.
Ha, I get this one. Great game.
Don’t flatter yourself, cupcake.
I cant believe this is happening to me
in this game u play as a sexy sarah palin lookin ass british witch whos been dead for for years and wakes up in a coffin. hair is magical and turns out to be whats shes wearing she also uses her hair to summon giant spiders and Dragons which are made out of her hair and takes away 95% of her suit that shes wearing. she is some how able to shoot pistols and rocket launchers that are on the heels of her feet.the story of the game is not worth mentioning
In this game, you play as some silver-haired bitch and you have to go around collecting dead people for some war. There’s a time limit before the war starts so you have to collect everyone as fast as you can. Also, there’s some perverted Harry Potter-looking mofo who’s into little girls and is obsessed with the main character.
Is that Valkyrie’s Profile?
Yep. Amazing game, go play it if you haven’t.
Kick or Dive
Dive with Kicks
Like ancient Chinese history? Re-live it for the seventh time in a grossly inaccurate manner by mashing square (with occasional triangle and circle) to kill thousands of generic Chinese soldiers with your oddly effeminate hero.
You play as this guy who runs around and jumps on all sorts of random fungi, turtles, and sentient ammunition. In addition to a size increase by promoting substance abuse, he can also go into half furry mode by turning in a raccoon and being able to fly or full furry by turning into this weird raccoon that can turn into a statue which has no use, a frog which is completely useless and a turtle that throws hammers. Each world has a different theme including a pain in the ass water level, a pain in the ass ice level and a pain in the ass maze level using giant septic pipes. At the end of each world, you have to fight 1 of the main villain’s 7 kids and they all have the same pattern to beat. The last level is a post apocalypic warzone with a bunch of boats and tanks envoking a third reich parade. The main villain is so stupid he actually can kill himself by smashing through the floor if the player is capable of running from right to left.
Did I do it right?
You’re a chick where there is no code to expose her boobs. Sometimes you wonder around temples, pyramids, and mountains. Practically anything can kill you and proceed to rape your carcass dry. There’s medi-packs but it’s not like they are in the open where you can just walk up to them, sometimes you gotta risk your ass to find one. Puzzles can take too goodamn long to figure out, and keys are surround by unsuspecting pitfalls of death. There’s unlimited continues but so what, when you die you go back so it’s not like it fucking matters. Some of the most ridiculous shit can put you down: dinosaurs, monkeys, brace yourself motherfucker.
in this game it got cancelled…and in another update for the series it got cancelled again and after that like it wasn’t enough the company who created him deleted him from their roster and all existence… but they all made up for that by making him an alternate skin in another game…ggs
In this game you start at a menu, you skip the main story because story lines are for pussys. You hit multiplayer and play countless matches with absolutely no plot and no end in sight. But wait your only playing 25% of the game killing people, the other 75% involves talking so much shit to a person you’ve never met that you would assume you guys were banging each others girlfriends. Then you totally switch gears and start killing the reanimated dead. You hop on a bus, with some retarted fuck bot driving, and pick up clues that you have no idea what the hell are for. So you get to round IIII and say screw the bus, I’m walking, you walk over some street path that looks like lava, only to fool your dumbass and get completely wrecked by a horde of ass munchers. While the whole time you hear people screaming at you calling you an idiot.
Did you seriously not know what mine is?
I probably do, but several of these posts are of games I’ve never played and am not familiar with. Therefore, when described in this style, they fly right over my head.
Or maybe I’m just stupid. I have a hard time telling these days…