You’re a modified space marine, you go here, go there, shoot this, shoot that, and plug an AI chip into stuff.
I thought the story was cool. lol. Mainly the tie-in w/ religion.
You play as this red haired guy who just shows up in town and gets involved in everyone’s business for no reason. They’re all like ‘go the fuck away’ but he ignores them or at least doesn’t say anything because he’s too pussy to talk for himself and lets his big musclebound friend do it all for him. It isn’t until he topples their government, destroys the nearby ruins and kills all sorts of local wildlife that they finally manage to get him to gtfo the area and leave them all in peace.
you play as a bunch of shitty characters from a shitty game company and comic company. you get hit once and die. magnets somehow means you can shoot fucking laser. 2 characters can keep you in block forever, and sometimes you can’t block shit.
You match gems.
You play as a stupid Fox who has to defeat a whole Galactic Empire for a race of dogs whose Army sucks too much ass to do anything right. The only mission they appear in is the one where they get raped by some Gundam looking robots.You have a team, but they all suck in terms of skill and personality. You’re team consists of some Asshole Bird with a Brooklyn Accent who says " I’m on your side Einstein!" when he gets shot but he’s the dumbass who gets in the way of my fucking smart bomb! Then you have fat old, bunny shit who keeps saying “Do A Barrel Roll!” but then he’s always the one who dies because when enemies chase him, he never does a goddamn Barrel Roll! Then we have some androgynous Frog, whose like “Help me!” and then he keeps getting killed by running ahead. It’s his dumbass who makes me have to go to the Desert Planet and use the Tank which sucks because the Tank is slow, it has shitty weapons and the final boss is a jackass who keeps hitting you. The bad guy some giant Monkey head who thinks its intelligent to put giant red buttons on his hands like I won’t be smart enough to shoot at them or something. But then get this, the Monkey isn’t the main bad guy, it’s his BRAIN! What kind of writing is that? Oh and to fight his Brain, you have to beat him on the Hard Route! Oh and don’t even try to get a high score in the game, because your friend’s always die and that murders your score. They also seem to think kill stealing is fun, God I hate this wonderful game.
Problem with that…
Star Fox is a bad game.
Adventure isn’t a Star Fox game.
In a world loosely based upon an actually decent game (WarCraft II), you start with character creation where you pick a race, including nonsense options like being anthropomorphic cows, wolves, pandas… or just say screw it and roll Human, Night Elf or Blood Elf like everyone else. Then you have to pick a name, which is impossible because all the good ones are already taken. So you are left with some stupid amalgamation of letters, numbers and underscores like xI_lElPhornicatorl_Ix1339 (1337 was already taken – so were 1336 and 1338, go figure). Then you are tossed into this game world where the object of the game… is to grind.
Go here, kill 20 of this. Go there, collect 10 of that. Go somewhere else, kill even more of this so that you can collect that off it’s corpse. Why do creatures, like wolves and bears shit, carry money anyway? What were they going to do with it in the first place? Actually buy something? Not likely since the moment they walk within earshot of a sentient player they get beaten to death and robbed of their belongings anyway.
Then when you finally hit the level cap, you’re done right? WRONG, THE GRINDING HAS ONLY JUST BEGUN. Now you have to grind for gear or risk being shunned by other elitist assholes who have been playing the game much longer than you, and who assess game skill by the quality of your equipment. How the fuck did this game get so many subscribers?
In this game, you play as a 10 year old boy who cosplays as a viking. There are these villagers who must really hate viking cosplayers, so they bring them to a castle and lock them up in a coffin. The boy miraculously escapes by pushing coffin making it fall and break. Luckily he didn’t get any concussions and is still alive after falling off from the second floor. Well, he stumbles upon a lady that looks like she hasn’t taken a shower in months. This lady was trapped in a cage, so thinking he is Link, he decided to get her out, even though there could be people locked in the other coffins at the area where he was trapped in, he didn’t bother to check and try to get them out. So, the boy got the lady out and now you have to hold her hands and escape this huge ass castle and be like, “Don’t worry you can make this jump, I will catch you.” And along the way, you got these long, boring puzzles to solve, these heartless wannabes trying to kidnap your girl, so you decided to beat their ass with a stick. Not to mention, this kid you play as, loves to shout and yell out words you don’t understand and hoping this girl you are trying to protect will follow you, but it all pays out with some watermelon in the end. With all of these good reviews, and millions of copies sold, we can never forget about that crappy box art.
You are this japanese guy searching the man who murdered his father so you start your adventure in hong kong. you keep seaching and searching and finally you find the guy…and he escapes (again) , so you continue your quest in a village and you ecounter this woman that appear in your dreams. She leads you to a stone quarry and you find a floating sword
THE END.
…roll cancel
Sorry but it’s impossible to make God Hand sound lame.
In this game, you dash around the neighbourhood beating up gang members. When you beat them, they say silly things or vomit before dropping their cash.
is this good enough>
You’re named after your dad, only your name is spelled backwards, and you have to invade his backwards castle.
There is nothing else I can add to that to make Symphony of the Night sound lame at all.