:lol:
Good job Sho 2 
and yes…evil does own joo.
sticks pinky in corner of mouth
Thank you.
I should probably put “Sage’s X-Bitch” to replace my “Supporter of Evil”.
I’m debating.
Lol, now the fic is getting out of hand. I LIKE IT!!!
Today’s events take place on a global jet train that travels around the world, created by designers inspired by Galaxy Express. Kyo Kusanagi grumbles to himself, the cool temperature of the train an inconvenience. His '99 jacket wasn’t well insulated. He is one of many Japanese citizens who fled the country after the acquisition of the country by the Gates Foundation; Sagat was but a mere, powerless figurehead. Sitting in front of Kyo is his fanboy Shingo; they went to the diner to enjoy some eats before the train arrives in America.
Kyo: What’s this say on the menu?
Shingo: SENSEI!!! It says, “roast beef sandwhic-”
Kyo KUSANAGI-SLAPPED Shingo.
Kyo: Maybe I need some glasses. I can hardly read a thing.
Shingo: Well, you probably just need to TRAIN your eyesight! Give it your best, 120% burning feasible, absolute willpower will let you do anything!
Kyo: Shut the fuck up, Shingo. Why don’t you go back into that imaginary world where everyone likes you?
Shingo: I’m already there, SENSEI!
Kyo: You don’t talk in your god damn imaginary world.
By now, Kusanagi was bitter by his bitch’s tagging along. At least this particular ride wouldn’t be boring. Iori Yagami appeared from behind Kyo, a broken beer bottle in his fist.
Iori: KYYYYYOOOO!!!
Iori lunged the bottle to Kyo’s neck, but hit only air.
Kyo: IIIIOOOOORRRRIIII!!!
Kyo took the barely legible menu and cramed it down Iori’s throat.
Iori: UMF!
Iori coughed it out, allowing Kyo to toss him around the diner. By now, some of the younger, stupider passengers gathered around the blood rivals and shouted “FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!” Eventually, the full area for Kyo and Iori was limited to about half a meter and a violent crowd started shoving their way, thirsty for action. It must’ve been under the ill-instilled martial arts mandate that Sagat proclaimed that these people gained a taste for blood.
Kyo was eventually shoved into Iori, who was about to drop kick him until he was shoved as well. The two fighters stumbled, and the disappointed crowd kicked at them until they collapsed.
Shingo: NOOO!!! SENSEI!!!
Someone smacked Shingo.
An hour later, after the diner had returned to sanity, Kyo and Iori started to talk to eachother like old friends.
Kyo: And so that’s why…I wanted to become a dancer.
Iori: That story’s fruity. I’m gonna be a heavy metal rock star fireman.
Kyo: Damn. The pony in the dream told me that to be a dancer, I have to go to “Detroit.”
Iori: Funny! I’m goin’ to…DETROIT ROCK CITY!
Kyo: WOW! You serious?
Iori: Smooth.
Kyo: A-HA! Wanna share an apartment together?
Iori: It’s…cool.
Meanwhile, Rolento and Sodom were cruising on the road when they saw a giant alien mothership fly above them. They had two choices; either ignore this threat to all mankind or whup its ass.
Rolento: Ve should fuck that up.
Sodom: Its our duty as the Japanese!
They both donned their GUNDAM WINGS and flew straight into that mother fucker.
Inside the giant alien mothership was none other than a crew led by both James T. Kirk and Char Aznable.
Kirk: Char, handle the Gundams while I…take my sponge bath.
Char: VIVA LA REVOLUTION!!!
So, back at the Distinguished Chaps mansion, the fightlines were clearly drawn: Sakura, Skullo, Balrog, and Sagat were to settle the score with Setsuna, Alucard, Sephiroth, Setzer, Juste Belmont, and Michael Jordan once and for all. But, there is descension in the Chaps…
Alucard: JUSTE! YOU CHEAP SON OF A BITCH RIP OFF!!!
Juste: Fuck you.
Juste fired his ICE MAGIC CROSS at Alucard, catching him off guard. Alucard’s chest started to ting with a sharp burn. Ironically. Since its ice.
Setsuna: COOL IT!
Sephiroth: snicker
Alucard: THAT’S NOT FUCKING FUNNY SETSUNA!!!
Setsuna: I WASN’T TRYING TO BE FUNNY, FUCKTARD!!!
Setzer: What are we doing? And who’re those guys? I thought this was the Annual White Haired Characters conference.
Jordan: Oh. That’s in Chicago, not Detroit.
Setzer: Son of a bitch.
Jordan: Hey, I’m familiar with the place. My PRIVATE JET can get you there in a couple of minutes.
Setzer: No thanks. I’ve got the BLACKJACK.
Jordan: Alright. Want me to show you around though?
Setzer: …okay.
And so, Setzer and Michael Jordan left the mansion of the Chaps.
Sakura: Damn. Should’ve asked him to sign my Nikes.
Sagat: …fucking Jordans just fell off.
Sakura: Aren’t you that asshole who followed my Ryu around?
Sagat: Yes, in another lifetime.
Sakura: Well, he’s MY bitch now, take that!
Sakura flicked her finger at Sagat’s scar, which started to burst into flames.
Balrog: WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?! punch
Balrog, bored as shit, decided to take his frustrations out on poor Sephiroth, punching him in the chest. Pissed off at this fruity, overrated villian, Balrog took the Masamune and bent it. Then, he pulled off Sephiroth’s beautiful silver hair. Sephiroth said nothing because he was already knocked into comatose by the first blow. Feeling artsy, Balrog stuffed one half of the bent Masamune in Seph’s mouth, another in his ass. Then he took out an arrow, and used Sephiroth as a bow. He aimed for Setsuna’s head, but missed and hit his owl instead.
Setsuna: OWLY!!! OWLY!!!
Setsuna brought the bird to his chest. The owl’s dying words were…“I love you.”
Setsuna: YOU MOTHER FUCKER!!! YOU’RE FUCKING DEAD!!!
Balrog: SUCK MY DICK!!!
Sakura: When should we do something?
Skullo: …look, do you think I know? I don 't know everything. I’m not fucking Einstien or Marx or Darwin. You want a teacher? I’m here as your partner you brat, not as your fucking CD-ROM. I mean god damn, I have to save your ass without a fucking thank you, and now, I have to be your encyclopedia? Go find Mr. Wizard elsewhere.
Sakura started to cry.
Sakura: Sk-sk-sk-sk-skullllo…WHY ARE YOU SO MEAN TO ME?!
Skullo: shrugs
Sagat: I’m tired of this pretense.
Sagat flew over to the Castlevania heroes and gave them a good Tiger Genociding.
Sagat: Sakura! I will be your opponent.
Sakura: …WAAAAHHHH!!! Skullo, you’re a heartless bastard!!! I try my best to be a partner to you, and you can’t appreciate that?! I’m a novice, okay?! I’m not a vet, like you! I can’t help it if I have to rely on your wisdom! But you don’t see it! You don’t see that I admire you!!! I’ve always looked at you from afar with the respect a daughter has for her father!!!
Skullo: …
Sakura: Don’t you know what I’m saying?!
Skullo: …Sakura…I will no longer love you as a student, but as…a woman.
And so, Skullomania and Sakura ran away together and into the closest motel. On that night, a girl became a woman…
Balrog: Wuh tha fuck?
:lol:
:lol:
I thought you are gonna bring up Tallgeese III or Gundam Wing Zero there and whip their asses…
Why don’t you go ahead and do that? Shit, bring in Domon and the God Gundam too!
Nah, I suck at jokes and pimp stories… 
:lol: :lol: :lol:
WTF Just happened!!!
LOL
LMAO that was great, but now, what will happen with Ryu? Will Ryu ever regain his pimphood after Sakura turned him into a pussy? Now that Sakura is a woman, will she still have her pimpness? Will Sakura still become a balla-blocker? Is Dan still alive? Will Dan ever regain his pimpness? An answer to these, and a billion other fucked up questions, on the next couple installments of… Dan and Skullo, on your same pimp msg boards, same pimp site, but fucking hell will know when.
I had a WHOLE FUCKING PROPOTION READY AND IT GOT ERASED!!! :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad:
I have to write ALL over again!
praying
Amen.
:lol:
Alright. For the hell of it, I’m going to post the FIRST DRAFT of my second part. No one needs to continue it, since its dead, but I’m posting it anyway.
As you can see, I took the Amy scene from this one and put into my 2nd post, or rather, the 4th chapter, seen on the board.
That’s it. I FUCKING GIVE UP!
This thing has just gotten erased again.
I suck at writing someone else do it.
Kyo: Here I am…Detroit. The city where I’ll start my career as a dancer!
Iori: This is the city where I’ll become…a Visual Rocker!
Kyo, Iori, and Shingo got off the worldwide subway and gathered their bags together. Before they would go apartment hunting, they needed to spend at least a week at a motel. It was called…McVaffe’s.
Kyo: Room A-19.
Iori: Room A-20.
Shingo: Room A-19!
Kyo: No.
Kyo axe kicked Shingo into a car in the parking lot.
Kyo: Ha ha ha!
Iori: Ha ha ha!
Rolento: So, you plan to take over ze world?!
Char Aznable: For the glory of Zeon!
Captain Kirk: Yes, our work is for the glory of Zeon!
Rolento and Sodom have a fierce showdown with Char and Kirk inside the mothership Amadeus; the battle ends with Rolento and Sodom flying to safety within their neatly concealed Gundam Wings. A couple hours later, Rolento and Sodom find their way into the city they’ve journied long to; Detroit. They find vacancy at a nearby motel called…McVaffe’s.
Rolento: Room A-18.
Sakura, now a full fledged woman, was delightfully smoking up her cigar, still hovering above Skullo.
Sakura: Yeah, I think I pimped you real good.
Skullo: …
Sakura: Heh. Baby, what do I…taste like?
Skullo used Native American sign language.
Sakura: So I taste like … Navajo?
Skullo: thumbs up
Sakura: Just next time, remember that only Queen SAKKY goes on top. Lemmie get some ice.
Sakura left the motel room (in the motel called… McVaffe’s) A-17.
Dan struggled to walk away from Akuma’s chain of fast food restaurants when he saw the temporary haven. It was a motel called… McVaffe’s. But the sign went from VACENCY to NO VACENCY. Shit. But just then…
Yoda: Use the Force Parry, you did?!
Dan: Uh…what’s it to you?
Yoda: Come with me, you must! Train for most important battle, we shall!
Dan: Huh?
Yoda: Myself, you must carry.
Yoda forced himself onto Dan’s nearly shattered spine and directed him into Yoda’s secret training abode…beneath the very foundation of the Shotopimps HQ.
May Lee entered the mansion of the Distinguished Chaps, a group of rich supervillians whom she had been on the trail for weeks now.
May Lee: CRETINS! YOU PAWNS OF EVIL AMBITIONS!!! MAY LEE, HERO OF JUSTICE AND GOOD, WISHES TO TRIUMPH OVER YOU!!!
May Lee noticed that there was no one here besides a fallen butler. The Korean DJ from Hell journied into the many rooms of the mansion, looking for evil to put to justice. She entered a door upstairs, and found…
May Lee: ZOMBIES!!! IF ONLY I HAD SOME HERB, A DAGGER, AND MAYBE A FLAMETHROWER, I COULD…
That’s when May Lee saw the missing Hyper Viper Beam.
May Lee: OBVIOUSLY LEFT FOR ME TO COMBAT THESE VILLIANS!!!
May Lee shot the rotting corpses with the futuristic weapon, skyrotting her tier to Top. May Lee decided to slaughter the rest of the zombies that the Chaps left in their mansion.
Meanwhile, another mysterious figure entered the mansion. His intention is not to fight, but to steal. He finds diamonds, gold, silver, platinum, and plutonium. The butler revives from his fainted state only to see this mysterious figure hovering above him.
Butler: Wh-…who are you?!
“I am…”
The butler felt a slight pinch in his body.
“The Ass Bandit.”
Ass Bandit. His history is rife with conspiracy and wrong doing. He was the missing creation of Dr. Light, made before Mega Man and Protoman. Ass Bandit made a living stealing not only valuables, but asses. Because of his penchant for stealing asses off of hos, he’s wanted by Shotopimps HQ for his misdeeds. Mega Man is based off Ass Bandit’s design; Bandit himself looks like a shadow version of the heroic robot.
Butler: Ass Bandit…you can’t steal my ass!
Ass Bandit: Why not?
Butler: Because, I am…
The butler took off his tux and tore his face from his head…
“Bass!”
Ass Bandit: Why the disguise, Bass?!
Bass: I knew that a mansion like this would eventually draw you to it! I’m going to destroy everything the good Dr. Light ever loved!
Ass Bandit: Light wants nothing to do with me!
Bass: Feel the hatred of my creator!!!
The two robots, the black sheep of their respective creators, started clobbering eachother. Ass Bandit pulled out an ass and shoved it into Bass’s head, disabling his sight. Ass Bandit ran away, an outlaw forever.
May Lee: WHAT’S ALL THAT RACKET?! DOESN’T MATTER!!! I’M GONNA SAVE THIS FAIR CITY!!!
Zombie: Rrrow?
BBZZZT!!!
Ryu had meditated for nearly five hours straight. Ken’s patience had ran dry and he finally spoke.
Ken: Ryu, you ready yet?
Ryu: …now.
Ken: Let’s go to Justice High…and find you some hos.
Good stuff as usual BP. I’ll do an installment…soon.
Ass Bandit returned to an abandoned alley that made for a comfortable abode for he and his partner…
Ass Bandit: You find your pops yet?
Evil Ryu: Not yet, but I heard that he’d be here somewhere!
He was Evil Ryu, the illegitimate son of Ryu. Evil Ryu was about one year old, but was…pretty damn strong, big, and smart for an infant. He was born from the force known as EVIL. These unwanted mistakes were left to die in the harsh world, but found eachother and vowed revenge.
Evil Ryu: An’ stop picking my butt.
Ass Bandit: What suits you.
Sakura went back to room A-17 with her bucket of ice and a glass of wine.
Sakura: Skullo…you want something to drink?
Skullo: shakes head
Sakura: Whatever.
Sakura jumped back into bed and turned on the free Pay Per View. They were showing the fucking Mandy Moore movie, but Sakky didn’t pay it any heed. She reached into the bucket of ice, when…
She suddenly pulled out some handcuffs and chained Skullo to the bed!
Sakura: cackles
Skullo: !
Sakura: Now I have no one to drag me down the corporate ladder anymore! With you gone, the Shotopimps elite has a seat free! Then I’ll take over the company and … rule the world! HAHAHA!!!
Skullo: Shit.
Sakura: I bet you’re feeling helpless, huh?
Skullo: …!
Skullo used the Pimp Force to crumble the handcuffs, and garnered enough will power to toss Sakura out of the room.
Iori: What’s the damn noise out there?
Iori walked outside and saw the dejected schoolgirl (nearly naked, BTW) on her ass, knocked out by Skullo’s fierce pimp powers. Iori poked her with his pants strap.
Iori: You alright?
No response.
Iori: …I should take her in.
Adon, Geki, Birdie, and Blanka spent the night at McVaffe’s also. Adon, who was in room B-12, went to his car to find his cell phone. However…
Adon: …WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?!
Shingo: Hu-…?
Adon: TRYING TO JACK MY SHIT?! WHAT, YOU WANT MY CAR, MY STEREO, MY AIR FRESHENER…OR ALL OF THAT SHIT?!
Shingo: There’s a mistake, why I was-
Adon snapped his fingers and his posse appeared from their respective rooms at McVaffe’s.
Birdie: Should I choke out his bloody fuckin’ neck?
Geki: Should I claw him?
Blanka: HMMMFF!!!
Adon: That was some ugly shit Blanka. Don’t ever say that again.
Blanka: MMmmer.
Adon: What? That’s all you. None of us fuck anacondas.
Shingo: Aw shit…
LMMFAO, that was signature material, holy shit that made me laugh.
LOL
What a hiliarous pimp fiction!! :lol:
After finally riding himself of the power-hungry Sakura, he collapsed onto his bed. He lay face down, reflecting on what has just happened. He had finally done it. He broke his vow of silence, the vow he took when he joined SOSP, the Sacred Order of Silent Pimps. It was an underground organization started eons ago, before the creation of Shotopimps. It gave mortal men the immense macking power of the gods, in exchange for their ability to speak. By breaking his silence, Skullo had no idea what would happen next. But he knew it wouldn’t be good.
He reached in his scarf for a cigar, and found…nothing. Shocked, he dug around deeper, only to remain empty handed. He turned his scarf inside out. Nothing. His powers were already draining. He had to see the SOSP counsil, now.
Skullo:thinkingShit…