Are You Okay? SRK Mental Health Thread

*You’re putting too much unnecessary pressure on yourself and seeing things through a self defeatist filter. If he’s your friend, a real friend, he understands what you’re going through on some level and is doing his best to understand you and your situation. If he was to leave don’t even sweat it, people come in and out of your life regularly. They either add, subtract, divide or multiply, very rarely do they have a neutral effect on your well being.

I think you need to take one thing at a time. Here’s my suggestions (I’m not accredited, nor have I ever personally dealt with depression or suicidal thoughts but give me the benefit of the doubt on this) but make a few lists:

  1. On one list put down all of the activities you’re currently doing and determine how intrinsically important it is to you on a scale of 1 to 10. Next to that column/number evaluate on a scale of 1 to 10 how much happiness it gives you. The latter is going to be shaped in some way by your current situation but that is okay since it’s about building self awareness on a different level.

1a) Write out a list of your skills, talents, job experience, hobbies and interests. Very important, i’ll come back to this point at a latter date should you follow some of what I’ve said.

  1. Make a list of different life areas that are important to you. Relationships (friends, family, romantic), professional (current job, dream job, skillset), Academics (aspirations, books you want to read), Hobbies (games etc), Finance (paying bills, building better credit, lowering monthly expenditures etc), physical upkeep (working out, domestic cleaning, hygiene) and whatever other categories that may be important to you like religion. Afterwards, write down things you could do to in that life area. For example let’s say you put “Maintain good relationship with friend” on there as being important, write out a way in how you could do that, like say going out to lunch with him once a week.

  2. This is probably the most important part: Do something positive! Seriously, getting into positive activities is incredibly important for people who are dealing with difficult life circumstances. Give something positive back into the world, volunteer, donate blood/clothes, give a shelter animal a temporary home for a weekend, exercise, share your expertise (drawing in your case) by teaching a novice something about drawing technique, creativity or other realms in your field. It’s very easy for one bad thought or one bad day to spin out of control and have precious brain space so go out and do something that makes you feel good.

  3. A followup to the last point; do something new. It’s easy to get into a routine and not notice how you perpetuate a cycle of thoughts and/or actions. Break it by doing something new, it doesn’t have to be big or substantial but you should try something new. When going back home go by a different route, try drawing in a style you don’t like.

Some of the reasoning behind these things will make themselves obvious to you once you start doing them. Once you’re done with items 1-2 things should start to crystallize but come back and i’ll tell you about the next steps after that. *

Man, I’m done trying to socialize with people.

Everyone I know is fake, wants to start dumbass arguments, or is simply not helpful. I think I’m better off alone with my thoughts. At least I know I can’t harm someone else.

Fake people are such a damn trap man. after my roommate died everyone i knew in my local FGC community reached out like they gave a fuck, talking like they cared about our friend that had passed and about how i was handling the trauma of seeing him dead on the floor… but that was literally the night after it happened, all of those fake ass people just went poof into thin air and not a one helped me with shit when i got evicted from the place we had lived in together. I literally got more help from my parents church friends than i did supposedly mutual friends of me and my deceased roommate.

I think i spoke too early when i said i was OK with his passing as well, i’m pretty sure i just tried to mask my feelings by throwing myself into a relationship… which i knew at the time was a bad idea seeing as how it’s with my deceased roommates girl… when i’m with her everything feels ok, almost to the point of forgetting how fucked my situation is currently. But she got sick recently and we spent some time apart and it was so clear as day that i had just filled the emotional hole with a big distraction to numb the pain. I have this fear that i’m just doing untold harm to her because she has to be having some of these same feelings, that or i’m just projecting my thoughts and feelings onto her… i don’t fucking know.

Anyways i should stop procrastinating at work and at least pretend like i’m doing something

You guys all still alive?

yep, got kicked out of the place with my parents friends… first i was planning on moving out apr 14th, then they had their grandkids ask to stay for spring break so they moved that date up to april 1st… then at 8am on the 30th they told me to be out by 8pm. Had a interesting few weeks of stressful house hunting on craigslist and am now over-paying for a tiny room that used to be a living room (they just built a wall to section it off). I have to share a light with the room next to me, the walls are paper thin and i can hear everything in the house. already a extremely stressful environment but i am just trying to focus on the good shit i have in the works for the future.

it’s probably too soon but i’m making plans to move in with my girl in 2 months or so

I’m meeting with my advisor tomorrow to change my major from Visual Arts to Mass Media and Communications while still choosing to minor in Creative Writing. A friend and my therapist really came down on me on making a plan for myself (and to be honest, I thought I did have one for myself). I’ve also been putting more time into studying so there’s that.

As for work, I don’t think I’m going to be there much longer - my manager approached me about failing in receiving customer surveys and signing them up for store credits. Of course, I can mark the survey on their receipts, but that’s not going to make them take them. I’m also not sure how to sign customers up for credit cards (to clarify, approach) since we’re getting busier and the lines are getting longer, but managers don’t care about that. Truthfully, after that discussion along with being stressed out about the bussiness, my register freezing up, and customers just being unpleasant and ignorant, I partially wanted to slash my own wrists with my box cutter right then and there (admitting that to my therapist made him inquire if I needed to be admitted to a hospital for a while, which I declined and deemed it a stupid question since I’m still in the middle of the semester). My other managers have been coming to me about other mistakes as well, but they’re more “enlightening” than reprimanding.

Other than that, I’ve been tired, spacing out and I also haven’t been able to think clearly at all. I don’t even think I’m going to pass this semester nor my belt exam next month. The only recent highlight I’ve experienced was acquiring first place at my last TKD competition, but that was only because I was the only one in my age division given the large turnout.

I’m a moody motherfucker. When I’m up i feel amazing but when when I’m down its really bad. I gotta get this shit together if I ever want to have a real connection with anybody.

god damnit… been watching 13 reasons why on netflix and it brought me right back to the morning i found my roommates body on the floor of his room

the wound is like completely re-opened it feels like, at work today and not getting fuck all done.

Of course I am not okay, I am here.
(Not to take away from folks with legit issues)

That sucks, it always hurt to be reminded about stiff like that.

So, I have realized how toxic my family is just recently, and it’s really bothering me. Well, more like it’s been bothering for my entire time on the earth, but only now realizing what effects it’s had on me and my mental health.

My father was never there. Like literally from conception. I found out later he was dodging seeing me, my grandmother refused to acknowledge my existence so far as to accuse my mother of sleeping with my uncle (not-related, my aunt’s husband). I tried to normalize relations with them in my adolescence. However, I always felt strained.

Most people around these parts knew I was seeking divorce from my abusive ex-wife back in Korea, and came back to the west to actually get a court to hear my case. I told my father that, and I told him why. I had the same conversation with my grandmother later. My ex was harassing my family and I told them not to give her any info about me. They not only did, but the housed her and transported her to court on the hearing date, basically saying to me, “Fuck you, we’re taking her side because blood doesn’t matter.” Needless to say, they’re dead to me.

Sadly, it’s not like my mom was any better. She probably did as much damage to me as the absence of my father did. She has always been so selfish, out partying and leaving me and grandma’s house till like 2am, and claiming she was bar-hopping to find me a father. WTF. But now it’s so much worse. She’s always leeching off of me and my girlfriend, trying to get free money by garnering sympathy that she can’t make the bill payments on disability. However she gets $1800 on disability in an area where that should be enough, and the reason she can’t make her bill payments is roughly 40% of that $1800 goes to buying shit she doesn’t need or even use on Amazon and eBay. She doesn’t keep up her housework, then when I tried to help her while I was there after Evo, she bitches about it.

That court date where my dad’s side of the family came out in support of my ex? My mom pretty much showed up on my side as her way of rubbing it in my grandmother’s face, and admitted as much. Pretty much everything she talked about after the court date was actually about my grandmother’s reactions to the proceedings. So it was almost like my misfortune was being used by her to exact revenge on someone who had wronged her. It’s not like my grandmother didn’t deserve it, but really?

She even had the chance to get her legitimate debilitating injury repaired through stem cell injections on a payment plan. She knows how much her injury had me worried. What does she do? Doesn’t keep her appointment, and then yells at me when I get upset that she won’t do anything to help herself.

I pretty much told her last night to talk to me when she stops being a pussy and does something to help herself. She’ll probably turn around and threaten suicide like she usually does to try to get attention from me again.

Then on top of that, my aunt (mom’s side) and cousins have had drama with my mom, and as a result, they label me guilty by association and blow me off every time I come in to visit. My aunt even had the audacity to insinuate that my problems with my mom and the rest of the family is solely my fault, and got insulted that she wasn’t the first one that knew about the issues with my divorce and my father’s side of the family.

It’s like, I don’t have any family left. It’s like in order to not make myself a basket case I have to be scarce around my family but it depresses me that I cannot count on or care about my family. It just frustrates and depresses me. I have my girlfriend, and I have my friends. But my own blood makes me depressed no matter what.

I guess I’m just venting. I’m not really expecting anyone to truly get in the trenches and help me, but I needed to let this out. I unload this stuff on my girlfriend and she helps, but I don’t like unloading on her all the time.

Been there. I threw my family out of the picture a long time ago and ive been fine ever since.

It sucks when you have nobody

But hey at least you getting pussy! Or dick?

I think you said you prefer pre-op

Powerful thread. To the few that share their personal struggles here. I want to say from the bottom of my heart…Thank you. Sometimes i tend to think that i am the only one with personal struggles. Especially with Social media encouraging people to sort of show the perfect side of life and choosing to shape struggles as something that we should not be talking about.

How do u guys get over being in a funk? Lately it just seems like everyone and everything just pisses me off. I’ve been trying to become more social and likable but this is what usually gets in the way.

Alcohol. Steam sale. 80’s movies. Polish chicks.

Figure out whats annoying you. Accept things you cant change, work on things you can? Lack of friends, reach out to peeps you used to know on FB, frequent a bar and get to know the regulars, take up some bullshit hobby like airsoft and get to know the guys.

Annoyed at yourself? Take up road running, go to a gym maybe. Consider a new job? Dont concentrate on a new line of work because that will just punt you into the black hole of depression more like maybe theres a chance for movement to a different department in your current job, same with getting more schooling I think those are the steps a happy stable guy can do, get the dick out and go for it. If you hurting just work on the small happiness things, minor stuff that leads to a better situation a few weeks/months down the road.

Everybody gets into a funk, money and health being the usual suspects, you can fix those with minor changes. Are you legit mental? Cant help ya there bud, turn in your firearms I guess. :tup:

Damn this is still going?

I got diagnosed with MS a few months ago (2 lesions on my spine, several on my brain), and in addition to the physical disabilities caused by this, I’ve been insanely in a funk lately. I almost feel bad just labeling it as a funk. I’ve been outright depressed. It sucks being in the middle of my life, and already gotta think about all the shit I can’t do anymore. Friends wanted to go play sports the other day, and I was excited for a moment, until I remembered what happened to me.

Sucks like a mother fucker, and I dunno if being cheerful is gonna be that helpful.

I dont know how to really share myself so I’ll try to keep it short

Around 22 age i was diagnosed with ADHD. I admittedly though nothing of it because my doctor told I had learned to cope with medication and other stuff for years, so I try to apply this going forward but as the year go by I was getting worts in alot of daily thing. losing possession easily, short term memory lost, and inability to complete task in a timely manner. Now in my 28 I realize I have to take this seirsly and have started treatment. I first had iratability problem and we found out the root was poor sleepy habit (noslty work overnight jobs). I was put on medication to help sleep which helps alot so i went in enthusiatic about obe that can help me focus. but was dissapointed when two perscribed one didn’t help. I felt their side effects but none of the positive one either.

Im now about to try the infamous Adderall. Im not sure how this one will work but I also know medications an only do so much on it own and I need to pratice good discipline as well and put myself on a routine. But one thign that always terrified me was confiding with people about this. I am blessed i have other and family member who are understanding of it. Its also partially due to one of my brother having down syndrom so they dont think its myth. But I had few acquitances and freinds i reveal this to and …it made thing uncofmtable…most would say im just making excuses. Which i felt i was because unliek other who just take disability check. i want to work and contribute but I have learning cruve that different so I just can’t apply other peoples methods.

OMG…I have the same exact problem with ADHD.

Minus OCD.

And just when I was coping with my father being a turncoat, my mom decides to follow suit and side with my fucking ex.

Like I said, my mom wasn’t much better than my dad, but this whole thing is just a knife to my fucking heart.

My parents have basically decided an abusive cunt is more important than me. My dad’s side of the family was trying to help the cunt manipulate me into letting her come find me before I could get a restraining order made. My aunt and cousins on my mom’s side refuse to have anything to do with me.

Like I legit have zero family left in my life. And yes I am salty about that. It’s actually depressing.

I know it makes really difficult for a person to pay attention and control impulsive behaviors. I
suffered from this disorder making my life really miserable. It lasted for a bout 3 years and i was on medications which helped me deal with it. You need to be really very positive if you want to overcome it. Here is a very good source which can help you go through all the risks, symptoms,treatment https://www.everydayhealth.com/adhd/guide/

Ive been takin’ my meds right and I haven’t had a drink in 8 months. My stay in jail was a real wake up call. So I’m doing ok, still a messed up, but ok. Just learning how to deal with my issues day by day.

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