I thnkn I told y’all motherfuckers my diagnosis
I’ma send you a nasty pm booger…prepare yourself
Drizzt if your living conditions are truly unfixable and are absolutely doing your head in, move on man, you gotta. If you can’t move on, you need to find a way to improve them, if that’s getting out more, do it, things can be hard but hard isn’t the same as impossible, very few things are truly impossible. Brainstorm man, get creative, without living your life or knowing more about your life there is only so much advice I can give you but if something is truly bothering you, blaming it without doing something about it wont fix anything it will just build more negative feelings.
Yeah, sounds like your in an environment that isn’t helping but possibly be a factor to your problems. I knew several people that one of the key solutions to getting better was a change of place. One dude left the islands of Hawaii to start a new either in Cali or Wyoming, I forgot. He went couch to couch and did odd jobs until he got settled in New Mexico doing some kind of construction career where he’s finally content and happy with his life.
Drastic times might call for drastic measures but only if you can positvely obtain that there is some kind of light at the end of the tunnel. Life isn’t all equal for everyone, some are lucky, or should I say a very minority of people on this earth, while the majority of us all have to deal with some shit at different levels. We all got problems and as long as you know that its very possible to over come what ever you have to deal with and move forward, you can succeed and find happiness.
A lot of people get content and comfortable with their living situations even at the risk of being in a downward spiral at least they know how the day will flow
Not necessarily saying you have to move out
Getting out of the funk is as “simple” as finding a job. Any kind of job.
If you find your way to the fields and pick cabbage or even work at arby’s
I would really love to move. I need a job first. I’ve been applying all over (you gotta do it online most of the time now). An 8 year blank mark on your resume/application does not…its not a good look. I keep trying though. I just want a job, not even so I can move out, just so I have something to do every day.
It just seems like im stuck here. I bet if I got a job that feeling would go away over time.
edit - I been kind of a dick lately. Since Ive lived here I smoked outside. My friends mom comes to live/stay here and she smokes in “her” room. Fuck that shit! If she dont pay shit and can smoke anything in that room then im going to smoke in my room when I want. I pay for living in this motherfucker. The day she starts to pay (or if the slumlord tells me) I’ll stop smoking in my room.
Work definitely helps man but even then it can cause more stress. Just stay humble, seem positive, seem eager, seem like the kind of guy that will give his 100% every day and not say boo.
Also man, don’t wait on job agencies and don’t think anything is below you. Nothing stops you looking for work while you have a job, seriously, print out a resume or CV or whatever where you live and just bang on the door of every place that might hire you. Do it again in a couple of weeks, if they get used to your face and something pops up they’ll likely give you a yell. It’s true that there aren’t enough jobs out there currently for everyone that wants full-time work but not everyone that wants one wants one in the same kind of way. I’ve been unemployed before and managed to fix it when I really put my mind to it.
Unemployment drove me further into depression
Full disclosure about 4 years ago i left a cushy hospital job to work insurance because they paid more and i would be just checking work this was righr when cali moved all poor people to medi-cal
So for 6 months it was meetings about numbers and deadlines and i hated lfe. Then once they brought everyone over to medi-cal they laid off everybody they had hired before the 6 month mark so everybody was still on probation
This lead to me being pissed that i left my cushy job, betrayed, and afraid looking for a new spot so i got into the va after about 3 months of worrying and thank god i was living with family because i would have gone even crazier.
The office work stressed me out so much that i went to seek therapy for my stress and to this day i see that same therapist because it helps me just deal with life.
Work related stress and depression are real and instead of wilding out or keeping it in. I talk to my therapist.
Being unemployed is a shitty feeling. Especially after busting your ass for that company.
Thank god i got this fed job 4 years ago because i don’t think they’ll be hiring the next 4 years
The only people I’ve ever met that are happy without a job are super rich kids.
Thus far, I’ve failed two exams while struggling with a class, and recently I’ve been rejected by the art program at my university. It made me realize I have no skills, valuable qualities or backup plans, so I gave myself three options: either reapply, settle for English, or drop out and kill myself. I decided that if I have nothing to offer to the world, I shouldn’t be in it.
Also most likely ended a friendship with my best friend. As of lately, I’ve been taking my stress out on him and others and last night I apologized to him. He said, “It’s cool idk, I guess I’ll have to stop taking it then haha”, and I responded that I’m breaking off for a while because I didn’t want to be a dark cloud around him and decided I didn’t matter. I think it’s for the best that I’m gone.
You just have no discipline. Failing exams while you’re a humanities major tells the tale.
It’s not even just that. As of lately, I haven’t properly been focusing and my Spanish professor recommended a tutor which I declined because I hate asking for help. I asked my best friend for help since it’s his major but considering we don’t see each other that often, attend different schools, and have different schedules, there’s no point in asking.
Right now I don’t know if it’s just best if I just cut off my friendships altogether if I’m going to keep sabotaging them, or just don’t contacting them altogether for a while.
Id say drop out for a semester if your depression really is that crippling.
I’ve been using my depression as an excuse lately, and it wouldn’t be a bad idea, but it’s me not prioritizing things I guess. I don’t want to drop out because personally as a black man, I pride myself on being educated/an academic. I tell myself that I can’t be another mediocre person of color with nothing to offer, and my biggest fear is just waking up to nothing. It’s really why I’m in school other than wanting a career or decent job for myself. However, I will say that my university is more towards STEM majors, and I’m a writer and artist.
You’re failing art classes, so you’re a failed art major. Do you realize how ridiculous that sounds? You have to accept the fact that your discipline is garbage, and once you accept that, you can start building it from scratch. You need to be the one that ignites that path though, no one else can do it for you.
And by discipline I don’t mean your major, I mean your study habits/work ethic.
But I’m not taking art classes at the moment. I can’t take those until I get into the program which I was rejected from. I’m also highly aware that I’m responsible for myself (never understood others feel the need to include such a reminder).
But you’re not wrong though. My discipline is abysmal, so this week during spring break, I’m going to sit down and write out Spanish notes and guides while training for my competition this Saturday. I’ve also researched black game developers and what they majored in to see where they started. Of course I can’t follow the same exact path as them, but it will give me an idea and more to assess.
Replace art with whatever braindead humanities classes you’re taking, same thing.
game developers know how to program, so you’re in the completely wrong field to start with if thats your goal.
I’m not too sure what to gather from your advice at this point.