This pretty much nails it for me
The protagonist never talks but just nods the head.
lol…Dark Force from Phantasy Star. Fucker was EVERY got damn boss.
And on that note, how about mystery villains who have no part in a game and don’t show up until the very end (i’m looking at you Final Fantasy…fucking Zeromus, Yu Yevan, etc)
My biggest gripe is shitty barriers/doors. You’re a highly trained soldier, yet you can’t use a stairwell because somebody tossed a desk in the way. Or your hero can carry 400 lbs of inventory and weild 12 heavy ass weapons, yet can’t open a door made of rotting wood and sliced cheese. Gotta have that key, how dare you consider SHOOTING IT WITH THE FUCKING ROCKET LAUNCHER YOU’RE WIELDING?
Also, having a fucked up party, and nobody in the rest of the world seems to notice this. Chrono Trigger for instance…I’m running around the world with a party consisting of the dude who tried to conquer the world (who is FLYING rather than running), a giant ass frog, and a cave girl with a fucking tail, and this is just another day for you, some pissant who runs an inn in the middle of nowhere during the end of times.
Well at Least its explained that Dark Force/Dark Falz/Profound Dahkness respawns.
I think there was pic for Fallout New vegas where the door was all sorts of busted open and you could prolly squeeze through… but you cant go in since its locked and you need a level 100 lock pick skill. Thank you DnD for giving attempts at just bashing the damn door.
as for the inn. Hey, gotta make dat money.
“Fighting last boss”
"You’re about to kill the last boss… but cease your attack"
Last Boss: Why did you let me live?
Hero: I don’t want to become like you!
FUCK YOU J RPGS AND YOUR GODDAMN WEEABOO SHIT!!!
Mighty Max got that one right.
“I can live with that”
What a badass.
When the game forces you to lose or die to some enemy at the beginning.
e.g. God of War 2, Mario RPGs, numerous others
Also, silent protagonists.
“Remember that hot chick in the cutscenes? Well, if you beat this long, tedious, frustating game, you can play as her. If you do it again, you can play her in her bikini outfit.”
“Oh hello. Just in time. I knew you would be coming despite the fact that I dispense multiple warriors, abominations and assassins to murk you. This is your friend. I brainwashed him/her so that he/she will attack you. U mad?”
“Sorry bro, you can’t be the main character. You’re too black. Tell you what though, we’ll make you a strong, important side character. Is that cool homeslice? Word.”
hear 8-bit chiptune
insert robot master reference
"Greetings. I know you’re on an important task to save the world, but would you like to play a minigame? I promise it’ll be worth your while. 1000000000 dollars currency. I mean, can you imagine how long it would take to get that kind of money breaking random barrels and killing random enemies? "
“To unlock this unlockable, you have to get 100 kills, collect all these random items, and beat the game on hard difficulty…or, you can put in this cheat code at the main menu. Of course, real gamers do it the hard way.”
“Don’t worry player, I’ll help you fend these bad guys off. I do almost 3 hit points of damage with each devastating blow. I’m also immortal. Good luck staying alive.”
This is especially frustrating when done in sequels… I love you Metriod but as badass as Samus is, it almost seems like they are trying to say women can’t hold onto shit. Except in Other M where they just had her being pimped by some white dude from her past into not using her suits full abilities until given permission.
Oh, I am also sick of escaping exploding/collapsing buildings/planets/dimensions. No matter how quickly you get out the cinema is always the same damn thing and once you do and more recent examples of this just aren’t fun anymore.
There’s also Bayonetta, who always ends up rescuing the bumbing Luka from getting killed in the game.
The Saving Private Ryan shellshock shit in FPS games. Moving along, explosion happens, knocks you down, ears ringing, teammate comes and drags you to safety as the camera looks up from the ground at your buddies shooting as explosions and shit continue overhead. It’s so tired.
Anime JRPG’s.
Wellman: I basically heard this in my head over and over. “Samus, you are not authorized to quickly and efficiently deal with this problem. How I became a squad/company leader is anyone’s guess. Bribery and/or nepotism may have been involved.”
(I actually liked how Other M basically played, but was not fond of certain details. Nor of the plot, aside from it granting the very image-macro-worthy visual of younger Samus giving a thumbs down.)
M.D.: Some games handle the side-quest thing better. Okami for example. Yes, you’re being sent off on some really stupid errand, but fulfilling it directly improves the populace’s joy/faith, which makes Amaterasu’s main job easier. …Then others just handle it about the way you laid it out; very blatantly.
TS: That Mighty Max clip reminds me of just how utterly cartoons of the era had to avoid ‘direct violence’… or at worst limiting it to blunt impacts doing negligible damage (granted, in that specific clip… being hit off the cliff into an avalanche is not very ‘negligible’). The hero couldn’t hit the enemy with the axe end, he had to hit them with the shaft. Wolverine couldn’t use his claws very much on living beings. Guns could not directly hit their target, instead had to do something dumb like breaking the chain holding a chandelier and dropping that on the enemy. A very silly practice, and one that I doubt had the effect the ‘moral guardians’ intended.
Multiple people: Several of you commented on the increasing use of QTEs and various FPS cliches, sometimes in the same title and sometimes not. I remember very clearly the span of ten days or so that got me sick of that crap. About 18 months back, I went through a flight sim (well, not quite a hard sim, but ‘a flight game’), a modern-era FPS, and a racing game… and all three of them kept veering off into QTEs. The FPS and flight games even had QTEs about the exact same things!
“Wait, what the hell. Are developers these days just going off some kind of ‘schlock Hollywood popcorn film checklist’, only for video games? Explosions here, macho camaraderie scene there, and larger budgets being used to tell weaker, increasingly generic stories?”
SoVi3t: I… think that ‘tail’ was actually part of Ayla’s outfit and the sprite-work just didn’t make it very clear. The out-of-game character art makes it easier to see. Anyway! As for why this happens? They run a hotel. You see everything doing this. Nothing surprises you anymore. The owners in question probably just shrugged it off as “Eh, cosplayers.” …Yes, even in 600 A.D. with the invading army’s leader in your party booking a room for the night. Alternative explanation: A flying elf-eared guy with a scythe walks up to your front desk and gives you a death glare. Are you going to give him any lip whatsoever? Or are you just going to ring up his room, give him the key, and hope he gets the hell away from you with as little fuss as possible?
this especially pisses me off in games where you unlock cool abilities. In prototype and Darkness, for instance, you pretty much see all the cool shit off the bat, instead of gradually over the game, and nothing gets left to your imagination.
Likewise, I hate FPS games where they take away all your guns and ammo at a certain point. Doom 3 was horrible for that. Save up all them rockets and BFG shots, then you go to hell and lose it all anyways.
‘whiny/cowardly brat’ characters in RPGs (think ToV Karol or FFXIII Hope)
In a lot of FPS’s there’s that dark, semi abandoned lab/prison/military base. It’s raining heavily with lighting and thunder. There’s no enemies in this level, just signs that there was(blood/dead bodies). There may be holding cells, cages, cryo tubes filled with dead things, or are they?(dun dun dun!). Every door you open is met with a loud noise and maybe a rat, raven or bat flies by.
You make it to your objective…hold X to flip switch/grab Intel. Uh-oh, that button you pushed just woke everything up and activated the self destruct sequenced! Enjoy backtracking though zombies/space parasites/monsters/mutated animals, all of which you totally didn’t see coming.
JRPG that start off with the main characters village being burned or destroyed in some way
how about post apocalyptic landscapes? Gears of War, Fallout, Rage, I could go on and on. More FPS with beautiful landscapes please. Transformers games are fun, but let me see a fucking tree. If I want to see never ending crumbling buildings, I will just go downtown.
Someone who’s rollin with you betrays you and everyone else…but you still end up taking them with you.