Movies that are aggressively bad can still be entertaining. The worse movies are the ones that are straight-up-the-middle mediocre, that don’t inspire strong feelings either way. Like the nonsense delivered by Michael Bay or Roland Emmerich.
The worst thing that a piece of art or entertainment can do is fail to engage you on any level whatsoever.
Fireball. Some thai movie about basketball mixed with martial arts. It sucked.
Wing Commander is pretty down there.
a large majority of dreamworks movies
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III. Fell asleep twice, then just walked out. Airheaded soccer moms just fucked this series up. A little at first with II, then all the way with III. 1 was tight…basically a live-action version of City at war. Would’ve liked to see more movies base on other story arcs, but that might never happen.
Living On Tokyo Time.
My mom thought, Asian girl on the cover, son has yellow fever, profit.
That was the blandest shitfest ever. Dont even try to look it up. Just take my word. It tried to be hipster before hipster was a thing, and succeeded if hipster was put into a woodchipper and then stuffed into a vomit bag.
Attack of the Eye Creatures – they apparently couldn’t even afford to have several copies of the “Eye Creature” costumes… you can clearly see some of the actors only wearing the top half, or just the head part… this was on an episode of Mystery Science Theater 3000, and it stands out as one of the more memorable ones. If I recall, there’s even one scene where you can see one of the actors has regular sneakers on. Of course, that’s just one aspect of it all… there’s also those moments where you notice it flips from day to night instantly in one scene. (*for example, imagine 2 characters driving somewhere that is only a few minutes away, yet this scene starts off in daylight hours, then suddenly it looks like the scene was shot at night, and 2 seconds later it’s day-time again)
The other one that was brought to most people’s attention by MST3k is of course… Manos: The Hands of Fate. It’s so terrible that it flips around and becomes a legendary, unforgettable experience.
In terms of something more modern—> Lawnmower Man 2 disgusted me. I didn’t even bother to finish watching that, and it got returned to the local video rental store asap.
Halloween 3: Season of the Witch… I just wanted to mention how much this pissed me off because it had nothing to do with the Michael Myers story. It’s tough to even begin having a fair opinion about it because I was expecting another installment of Michael Myers terrorizing people, and this movie gives you something completely different despite being the 3rd movie of that franchise. It’s like if they made a new Friday the 13th movie that turned out to be a buddy-cop comedy action movie with cameos from Tango and Cash.
There’s also Kingdom Come http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kingdom_Come_(2001_film) At least it had my baby Toni Braxton, Jada Pinkett and Vivica Fox in there. There was exactly 1 scene in that entire movie that made me laugh…it’s when the preacher (Ced the Entertainer) was farting in the pulpit, but really…that’s easy. When are fart/shit jokes not funny?
Shortbus. Can’t believe I got conned into watching that.
Wait, what?
Zatoichi.
You heard of it?
Daddy Daycamp.
Are you talking about in general, or movies that you have watched in the theater?
The latter is a rather short list. I have sat through some abominable pieces of crap in the theater. I am not sure whether to list the worst one I have seen or just the one that pissed me off the most and made me think twice about going to the theater to see it
honorable mention: A Perfect Storm
I meant in general. My pick is Titanic 2 because everything about the movie is so fucking dumb…
-Plot: Right, douchey guy makes ANOTHER Titanic to “honor” the first tragedy, and his ex is one of the nurses on the ship. The movie revolves around their relationship. When shit goes awry, there aren’t enough lifeboats because there were a lot of “for show” lifeboats. (Highly illegal, but that’s never mentioned in the movie.) A major point in the movie is where the two try and hide in A FUCKING SCUBA CLOSET TO ESCAPE A FLOODING SHIP AS IT SINKS.
-Characters: Anyone remember that SNL sketch “The Californians”? Welcome to this movie. 80% of the cast is about as stereo-typically white-looking as you can get. The rest are either old or have brown hair. NO NON-WHITES IN A MOVIE AFTER 2000. Forgivable if there was any good characterization, but there isn’t. I couldn’t remember anyone’s name if I tried.
-Effects: ET and Tron were miles ahead of this movie, and they came out over a decade earlier! Even fucking TROLL 2 beat this movie, and that was just a costume designer from assorted pornos in the 80’s!
-Script: I touched on this earlier, but this is just BAD. At one point, another nurse receives a severe chest wound. The main nurse asks the dude with no medical experience to get some tape. He runs to a MEDICINE CABINET, THROWS OUT A BUNCH OF PILLS, GAUZE, AND DRUGS, AND PULLS OUT SOME DUCT TAPE. She then takes his credit card and LOOSELY TAPES IT OVER THE WOUND. Later, the guys says he can’t open the door to save a trapped man, WHEN THE SIGN ON THE DOOR IS CLEARLY TELLING HIM TO TURN THE HANDLE THE OTHER WAY. No memorable quotes anywhere, this just sucks.
Godzilla (the 90s one).
And also Priest. My parents used to rent movies like every day back in the day. Several a night. And my dad would record em while we watched em lol. So one night he rents a bunch, and one was Priest.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0110889/
yeah that shit got popped out right quick. My sister was like 12, and during a scene near the start she asks “why are there no women in that bar, dad?” and then it was just gay man love.
heh, a more specific category—worst I’ve seen in a theater is probably Eve’s Bayou. The only good thing is that it featured Lisa Nicole “BIG ASS TITTIESSS” Carson, and a young jailbait Megan Goode. I wonder what Lisa Nicole Carson is up to these days… that girl was sooo very blessed on the top-side… it was like an ocean of titty-meat going on there.
Anyway, the funny thing is… this happened to be when Hell temporarily froze over and I was actually on a date at the time. I was trying to hold in the laughter when I noticed people walking out. That shit is hilarious to me… to see a person or multiple people just give up on a movie and leave before it’s even lose to being over. I was also ready to lie and pretend I enjoyed the movie in case the date liked it…but nah, she also thought it was terrible.
The Horseman, because its evil irredeemable depression fuel (and i usually love shit way darker and more violent)
and Nothing but Trouble because it makes me want to puke poop out of my penis (nose)