For the Japanese fighters we have the stereotypical karateman Ryu and The prideful sumo E. Honda. For the Americans we have the blondehaired, blue eyed ken and Guile the Marine. The list goes on. But when it came to the Brazilian we get a green-skinned, orange haired, hulk/werewolf/overall feral beast. Are all Brazilians like that in the minds of the Japanese? Are the Japanese predudice against Brazil? I’m not Brazilian or anything, I just thought about this one day while brain storming on the john.
Maybe there are a lot of trees in Brazil.
Some thoughts are better left in the john.
One day, a producer for a popular video game company decided to sit down with his staff to create a cast for a brand and new fighting game. While bringing in several of their earlier creations in this new game, one of the character designers for the game decided to think of up something different from the norm.
Character Designer A: You know, this cast is missing something.
Producer: What do you mean?
Character Desginer A: We have had several martial artists from all over the world, covering various number of stereotypes. But it still seems that we don’t have someone who is original enough.
Producer: What do you have in mind?
Character Designer A: Well, we’ll create a monster.
Producer: A monster?! In a serious fighting game as this?
Character Designer A: It’s not just any monster, it’s a green monster.
Producer: Are you mad? Do you want Marvel Comics to sue us?
Character Designer A: No, no. He’s not just any monster, he’s a monster that is powered with electricity.
Producer: Electricity?
Character Designer A: Let’s say that he was once a human being who crashed into the Amazon forest. He lived in the jungle amongst the wild beasts.
Producer: …That doesn’t sound so original to me.
Character Designer A: Then, let’s say he gained his electric abilities from eels.
Producer: Eels? What did he do? Eat them day and night?
Character Designer B: Maybe he stuffed them in his pants! Ha ha!
Character Designer A: …Don’t quit your day job. Anyway, he then hears of the martial arts tournament and decides to show off his monstrous skills.
Producer: But how would a beast like him know what or where a tournament is?
Character Designer A: …Why are you putting logic in a damned video game?
Producer: Good point. He’s in! But now we need to find a name for him.
Character Designer B: How does “Monstro” sound?!
Producer: …I’ll make sure that you’ll never stay in another character development meeting again.
Character Designer A: I think “Blanka” seems like a fitting choice.
Producer: Blanka…hmm…that sounds rather unique! We’ll do it!
And that’s how Blanka was created.
That sounds about right. Thanks Loler
My gosh. It all makes sense now!
Blanka Creator: Tell me again why we have to make a fucking 2D Fighter?
Producer: Because thats whats hot in the streets right now?
BC: Listen nigga, we need to drop this fisticuffs shit and get rollin on that swamp thing RPG.
Pro: What we need to do is watch you shut the fuck up and make the game that I tell you to make or by this time next week I’m gonna have you outside of windixie pan handling for food stamps.
BC: But I’m tellin you, monsters are what gets the bitches wet!
Pro: Get out!
BC: Whoa, Whoa, Whoa. We cool man, we cool. I’mma do whatever you want. I’m too pretty to be on the streets.
Pro: Make a fighter, make it good, make me some money and don’t call me till its on the market.
BC: Alright sir, you got it. When you put the head A numero-uno number one go in brother on a project it gets done. Its gets done, it gets done!
Pro: Glad to hear it. Call me in a year.
. . . . . . . . . . . .
BC: Fuck this guy, I’m makin me a monster. . . and then I’m gonna scan my asshole on the copy machine.
blanka is great so who cares?
more like:
character designer a: I think we need some creative inspiration.
producer: Yeah.
character designer a: /ACID TRIP/
producer: Wat.
character designer a: Got it…“Blanka”…
character designer b: Hey, got any more creative inspiration?
the end. i’m pretty sure you can’t think up these things the normal way.