Okay so It’s been 4 years since I played SF, I used to be very good at the series, and I have been playing SF5 for the last month. WTF am I supposed to be doing, I’m stuck at around the 3,000LP mark and even though I can read everything that the ranked opponent is gonna do I keep getting my f*cking holes penetrated. I get that Guile’s’s SB is crappier now, but people just jump in on me ALL GODDAMN day and even though I recognize it and press cr.hp it either goes OK or the move is so MOFO slow they just keep on sailing, just to bend me over the kitchen sink and annihilate my cherry.

Also I’m just a crouching cum bucket on wakeup, taking all online sperm. I can read that they just won’t stop harassing me on wakeup and WOULD FK but then the move is beaten by god knows what and I’m sitting there stunned like a glazed angel. Even my shining great EX FK is beaten sometimes, I mean what the hell is going on? Just put me on B*acked.com and be done with it.

RHayabusa: Knocks on door
Guy: Uh hello?
RHayabusa: Hi, I’m ready for the SF5 Cum Fiesta.
Guy: Have you got the password?
RHayabusa: Pulls up shirt to reveal his hairy nipples
Guy: Nice! But do you know what we DO at the SF5 Cum Fiesta
RHayabusa: I’m gonna get f*cked!
Guy: Come on in.

RHaybusa walks in the house, wearing small shirt and tight, tiny jeans

Cameraman: Dios Mios look at that ass!
Guy: Ohhhh! Shake that Fcking whale tail! Spanks RHayabusa’s ass I’m’a dck you with my Ryu!
RHayabusa: Oh yeah give me that BIG Ryu c*ck!