All was well with Ken Masters. The sun was shining, the wind was brisk, and even the grass felt nice. Ken was outside, paying close attention to the final preparations for tonights gala. A new SNK vs Capcom tourney would be held soon, and he had fully expended his weekend budget to throw a party in the tournaments honor in his personal ASTRO DOME. He had it all planned out; he would build a rave floor for the hip youngsters, an ornate dining hall, and he would even allow his guests access to his sacred sanctuary; the SHOTOPIMPS LEGION OF DOOM PLAYERS CLUB. Tonight would be a memorable night for all.
Hey, dad! Ken heard the familiar voice of his son Mel beckon him. I just broke Seans shoulder! Look, its gushing blood!
In a minute! Ken had let Mel train with Sean a week ago, and he was already working his way up to breaking Seans shoulder. First it was his foot, then his ankle, then he went all the way to tearing Sean a new asshole. Sean wouldve protested the harsh treatment Mel gave him, but he too wanted access to the SHOTOPIMPS LEGION OF DOOM PLAYERS CLUB.
After this, those SNK heads wont be calling us Crapcom anymore. Ken basked in the glory of his ASTRO DOME. A truck pulled up next to the DOME, and Ken ran up to its driver. Hey, Ive been waiting over an hour for this shipment! I was almost afraid I was gonna have to disappoint those KOF kiddies and tell them thered be no rave!
Sorry. We got held up at an anime convention. One of my guys is unloading them now. One of the deliverymen opened up the delivery truck from behind and released the cargo of roughly a hundred Azns, who brought with them DJs and E.
Good. No SARS? Ken asked. The driver shook his head. Great, so the raves on.
The casts of Capcom and SNKs fighting games all showed up at Kens SvC Chaos party. Even Magneto, Cable, Sentinel, and Storm made their own guest appearances, signing autographs and unloading CDs of their new platinum album. Most people mingled with eachother in the grand hall, which featured lavish Baroque-esque decorations. The Capcom and SNK sides got together quite well, contrary to what the Internet fanboys and tabloids would have you believe. At least…at first.
Sagat flung open the doors of the DOME with great anguish, and walked as a goliath, leering with his one eye at the guests. He was accompanied by Balrog, who carried on his back a giant slab of meat.
When am I gonna get to drop this shit? Its heavy as hell. Sagat didnt say a word, and Balrog followed him into the dining room, and into the kitchen. He paid no attention to the surprised cooks or the patrons dining outside; he motioned for Balrog to tie the slab of meat onto the ceiling. Relieved he was no longer carrying the colossal bovine flesh, he found a hook protruding on the ceiling and attached it onto the meat. Sagat motioned Balrog aside, and he began to punch the would-be-steak relentlessly.
Uh…Sagat…those are boxing jabs. I thought you were muay thai?
You see what they turned me into, Adrian?! Sagat spoke for the first time after an awkward silence, and he appeared to have Sylvester Stalones voice.
Balrog.
SNK did this! They turned me into Rocky, Adrian! But the worst part was, they took away my crouching fierce! Sagat crouched, and powered up all the energy he could muster into his fist. He finally let all of his frustration go into one powerful blow…which merely swung the meat back. Did you see that?! Ordinarily, that meat would be knocked out, and I would combo my fierce into another fierce and not even Batman would touch me! But SNK had to go and fuck it up! FUCK SNK, and FUCK APOLLO CREED!!!
To Be Continued
