You are alone in the most tropical site ever. Suddenly, you hear someone saying “Anytime” You look over and you see an invisible enemy who’s eyes suddenly shine. You are about to shoot it with your carbine but the bastard shoots you with a plasma gun!!! Your arm is tear up in half and your carbine is still firing!!! Your character screams in pain. Now you try to shoot that idiot with your back up carbine but he is already in front of you lifting you with his wristblades. You give an extremely manliest cry while your are wenting.
I do a 30 degree turn and take six steps. I kick 273 mm above the ground as hard I can. I do a full 180 degree pivot, using the momentum I drive the sharp end of my arm bone stump into the space 98 mm in front of me. I leap back 419 mm before taking two steps to the left, pausing for 2.12 seconds, leaning back to the southwest at a 42 degree angle, I dodge the incoming blow before delivering a leaping headbutt. The headbutt is so powerful, it gibs the invisible ninja, coating the area in blue/black blood and revealing the writhing bodies of the ninjas I had previously disabled. I walk up to the to the first ninja and stare into his invisible eyes. He unconsciously begins to emit a high pitched mewling, much like air being slowly let out of a balloon. He then dies from the intensity of my gaze. My arm as healed by this point and with a single, fluid motion I signal to the trees of the rainforest. A team of beautiful little girls, clad in palm leaves, emerges and carries me back to the village where they massage my scalp and bath me in coconut milk. Tel’Dazusa wins my favor that evening with her masterful use of her hand crafted hair brush. I award her the flesh of the fallen ninjas as her prize, and command her to make boats and jerky from their skin, in preparation for a particularly brutal monsoon season to come.
What would you do for a klondike bar?
if your son was at home cryin all alone on the bedroom floor cuz hes hungry and the only way to feed him is to sleep with a man for a little bit of money?
…
Is… is this supposed to be English?
No real life experiences please.
1: I’d tell Dutch to call da choppah with my manly cry.
2: How the fuck you gonna ask somebody what they’d do in a situation where they die before they get to make a decision, removing all options?
3: English fail, son. Seriou- aw, fuck, guys…I think this fucker’s a bot.