The Game of Thrones OFFICIAL thread

thats a new level of catfishing with Melissandre

The writers have indicated that Melissandre is actually centuries old. But in light of her failed prophecy regarding Stannis as well as Jon Snow getting stabbed, she needed to take a moment to look at the ‘real her.’

They’ve been butthurt since the Lannister’s Mountain killed/raped Elia and murdered her children. Ellaria is upset about Oberyn getting squished, even though like you said it was a legal fight he died in.

Right. They have a good reason to be angry over what the Mountain did to Elia, and it’s reasonable to assume that the order was given by Tywin. But they keep saying “Oberyns murder,” “Oberyns murder,” as if somehow this was some pre-planned conspiracy against him.

Now that I nearly caught up with ASOIAF (I burned through 1-4 and had a bunch of stuff happen where I quit reading 5 but just picked it back up and am like 30% through) over the break I’m totally over the Dornish storyline in the show lol.

Sand Snakes are by far my least favorite group of people going right now. A lot of the shit they do just pisses me off.

I honestly hope that the Sand Snakes and the Lannisters (well, Cersei at least) just kill each other off.

I love Cersei only because her ability to fuck things up is nearly unprecedented.

She can make shit go sideways faster than I’ve ever seen. Amazing work.

I’m sure someone can name someone more incompetent but gods she can fuck shit up with a quickness.

Oh yeah, I agree. Dorne was one of my favourite places in the book for sure and I liked a lot of characters and stuff from there, which just makes the ridiculous excuse for Dorne we’ve got on the show inexcusable. Hell, I’m kind of glad Arianne was written out since it means we don’t have to see them butcher how she is. Not to mention, I’m pretty sure thinking “We’re going to avenge our father/mother’s lover by killing his brother, his bodyguard that had nothing to do with anything, and his innocent son who was like a brother to Oberyn’s daughters/son to Elaria” is one of the most ridiculous and nonsensical things I’ve ever heard in my life. And that INCLUDES the plot of Sonic 06.

“You’re a selfish bitch”

and

“You want a good girl but you need the bad pussy”

WHAT THE FUCK are those lines?

Blerghhh

The sand snakes have me legit pissed off.

Doran Martell realized he just couldn’t go to war with Kings Landing. Dorne may be able to defend it’s own boarders, but it will get its shit fucked if it starts making moves north. He knew the way to go was putting his son on the small council, where he could then influence and work in Dorne’s interest.

Instead the snakes (who somehow believe the Lannisters are responsible for a death in a trial by combat) want to go into a war where they will get the entire countries shit slapped. The War of the 5 kings is over. The crown can now focus all of its attention to shutting down Dorne.

I just don’t buy the rest of Dorne siding with them. It should spark a full blown civil war that would lead to the snakes hanged. WTF are the show writers thinking?

I mean FFS Oberon flat out said that he thought of Tristen as the son he never had.

5 US $ dallars says that Mt frankenstein gets to have his way with the sand snakes. AND IT AIN’T GON’ B PRETTY , S0N !

This would be legit awesome. Especially if the Mountain blows the fuck out of all three.

It would delicious irony if they ended up fucking their country thanks to, effectively, their petulant child rant.

After mulling some of the plot in my head, one thing that keeps bothering me is how the hell did Brienne find Sansa and Theon/Reek?

From what I remembered, in the season finale Brienne didn’t even know Sansa fled the castle, and with the war being over she would have no reason following around any enemies, especially since she would be heavily outnumbered. The whole scenario just felt poorly contrived.

Then there’s Podrick suddenly leveling up to warrior class, capable of fending off a soldier on horseback, when he showed nothing of the like last season. There wasn’t any major timeskip so what gives?

Oh you can believe the Mountain will be fucking shit up this season, whether it’s the Snakes or the Faith. As a fighter, how do you even stop something like that?

I actually think frankenmountain will be used to tear up the temple rather than face the sand snakes, that’s gonna be a Jamie fight I bet.

DAGRONS!

Possibly could have returned to her lookout… saw the candle Sansa lit at the end of the season. But, then what? I thought the plan would have been to go get her there. Idk.

Also, the dogs disappeared in that fight scene too.

Pod could have been leveling up with Brienne, aka the only character in Westeros left that knows how to swing a sword.

He’s been training with Brienne. And he’s got a giant cock. That probably helps him fight better.

OH yeah!! That’s right! Where the fuck did those dogs go?? LOL!

Brienne suddenly appearing like Han Solo was pretty contrived.

Speaking of which, where they hell did that Dothraki code come from that prevented them from harming a Kahl’s widow (or however you spell that)?? These fuckers will rape and kill a goat for the hell of it and don’t give two fucks about it. Now suddenly we get this code of honor crap. You would think raping a dead enemy’s wife would get them major street cred in their world, but nope! She will be doomed to spend the rest of her days living as a spinster with the other widows.

Everyone has already touched upon the retarded motivations of the Serpent chicks. Oh no, Oberyron lost fair and square in a trial by combat, we must go to war!!! This makes Dorne (including Oberyron) look like a bunch of emotional punk bitches. Your boy lost, get the fuck over it.

I was really hoping for the Dorne king to spring out of his chair and start doing some sweet crippled kung fu master moves saying, “Who do you think Oberyron’s master was?!” before he wrecks those ungrateful bitches AND his punk as guards.

Is there a reason they left Jon Snow’s body outside like that? I thought it was standard practice to burn the bodies now. I guess stabby Mckilling somebody takes a lot out of man and they all went inside for a pint.

Apparently HBO has dropped an image of the note the messenger gave the Dorne price because they kept getting fucked about the giant plot hole lol. The note makes everything way better.