Survivor X - Afterparty!

System_1 · June 22, 2003, 5:58am

He continued to rub her back, pressing the fabric of her dress into her skin, Relax… do not think of that now…

*How could she not think of that as you touch her in that way?

I only wish to comfort her

A quite affectionate way of doing so.*

Opera sighed slightly, and burrowed her neck into her shoulders, shifting slightly in Vincents hold, admitting, I…can barely think at all, to be honest…

Then do not, if it is easiest…

*And easier for you not to speak.

Words mean nothing at a time like this.

I think she would disagree.*

Vincent felt Opera lean against him more, her voice finding a new sense of calm, and the hair on the back of Vincents neck rose, I might have given up trying already…

*She has fallen for you, Valentine. Now here comes the challenging question

Chaos

Do you let her go or do you repeat a mistake?*

Nodding, Vincent trickled his right hand down to just above her waist, and started to gently rub across horizontally, from her right side to her left. Opera gave a minute involuntary sigh, and seemed to relax more into Vincent, and he could feel her breathing steady out, but he also felt a slight rapid heartbeat against his chest.

*Do you feel that, Valentine? The humming bird rapid beat of her heart? Surely, you remember the first time you felt anothers heart beat that fast against you chest.

Yes

Separated only by a lab coat and your shirt, at that.

Not now

And how you woke up the next morning?*

Vincent lowered his hand down to her waist, keeping the same process of massaging her waist, and her whole body seemed to at once relax into his.

…Are you feeling better? He asked hesitantly.

I think she could only be better had you two been in a room right now.

…You could say that… She remarked softly, and Vincent looked down at her hair, draped gently over the fingers of his claw. He carefully picked up a couple strands, not wanting to cut her hair, and let the strands of hair fall over his metal fingers carefully and back to her shoulder.

I feel…good. But…not any more ready to leave. She tensed up slightly again, pressing her forehead into his chest, Less, if possible…

He only nodded, keeping touch between her waist and his hand, feeling her body tremble slightly with his touch. Vincent realized his breath was growing a touch heavier than what it had been before, and he covered it up by inhaling slowly, holding his breath, and letting it out just as gradually.

I don’t want to leave…I don’t want to leave… Her voice gave a hint of strain, and her body began to tense up more despite Vincents gently touch, I don’t want to go back to something potentially fatal, feeling this way, and facing the very real possibility of never seeing you again.

*Or knowing that you have betrayed dearest Ern.

Leave her problems alone

I do not blame her. The pleasure of being a lap dog only goes so far.*

Vincent looked back at the fingers of his claw, and gently picked up a couple strands of Operas hair, tugging at it slightly before releasing, letting her hair drop. He gripped slightly at her back, and kept his right hand still at he right side, and commented calmly, Do not think of it… just think of now.

I just don’t want now to become yesterday…

And feel as if everything you are feeling now is a dream turning nightmare.

…A time I can only think of…I shouldn’t feel this way, I know…but I can’t help it. She finished, her voice strained by the fact she was holding back tears. Vincent pulled Opera in a little closer, and went back to trickling his fingers along her waist, trying to soothe her and relax her to how she was a moment ago.

Neither do I

I…I don’t know what else to say that I haven’t… Opera gave a small sigh, squinting back tears from all three of her eyes, and Vincent held her for comfort. He returned to massaging the small of her back, and he closed his eyes, letting his body relax more into hers.

…I don’t know how I can possibly leave now… Opera commented quietly, and Vincent didnt respond, stroking Operas back, and trying to match his breath with hers to calm her.

*.I am not worth staying for

A fine thought to have, running your hand over her waist like that.*

Opera sighed again, and burrowed her head deeper into Vincents shoulder, her voice forced, Oh, why did this…why must I feel so… She paused, and swallowed hard, gulping for an even thought and intake of air, she barely spoke, Vincent

*I want you, Vincent. I need you, Vincent. Please, sweep me away off my feet and cause me to scr

Shuttup, Chaos!*

Restraining himself, Vincent dare not move, and held onto Opera, staying quiet in fear of Chaos speaking instead of himself. Operas shoulders began to shake slightly, and another silent cry escaped from her.

How…how am I supposed to leave knowing that I may never…that we… She nearly choked, and sniffed, trying to clear her thoughts and failing, With these feelings that betray the one waiting for me…I…I don’t want this to end…

Vincent could hear the desperation in Operas voice, and started to rub the small of her back again, and managed to whisper, Do not cry

Operas voice was full of a choking sob, and she tried to hide back her tears, but was failing, It just hurts so much…my mind is telling me that everything my heart wants is wrong… She tightened her grip slightly on Vincents waist, and leaned more into him, barely speaking, And I don’t know if I still want all the things I used to…and I don’t want to hurt anyone…and I don’t want to leave what I’ve only just found…and I know I’ll never be the same…

Something inside Vincent wrenched slightly, and he could not tell if it was the stone in his chest or his stomach. He could still feel the gentle tremble of her, and he carefully grazed his hand up to Operas rib, and he felt her catch her breath, Opera… even if things are not the same when you go back… do not let your faith disappear with your feelings.

*She is obviously not going to be the same when she goes back, knowing that you are touching her the way that you are.

That is none of your con-

Concern? You have fallen for her, Valentine. You want nothing more but to hold her like this and call her yours. Like she once did.

No more, Chaos.*

Opera held her breath, shuddering under his hand, I know they won’t be the same…because I won’t be either. I’m already different…and I can’t help but wonder if it only took what happened this week to make me realize it…to bring it out to my attention, and not just to make it happen.

Vincent tightened his hand around operas rib, and her breath caught again, During the course of a week…

I have been able to f

It sometimes takes a lifetime to realize had a week not happened.

Opera exhaled slowly, and more tired, remarking quietly, I think you’re right…and I think I needed this…but…why does it have to hurt so much?

*Because I

Betrayed her.

No

What then?

care.*

Vincent brought his right hand up, and made a loose fist, and grazed the knuckle of his index finger just under Operas chest, and all of operas breathing stopped for the moment his did so. The brush only lasted less than a few seconds before Vincent brought his hand back to her side and was barely speaking, Because pain is truly what makes us realize things…

She shivered when he placed his hand back down at her side, and she sighed inaudibly, I just don’t understand why this is happening…why now. Why I feel all the conflicting things I do at this moment…

Because you have fallen for a man who thought he was not able to care back after the first.

Opera shuddered again, and Vincent brought his hand back up and brushed his knuckle just under Operas left breast, staying a moment longer this time, and dragging his knuckle back to Operas ribcage, where he carefully placed his palm.

cares much more than he*

Vincent leaned his head into her neck, carefully breathing out and seeing the hair on the back of her neck stand on end. He finished exhaling, before his lips twitched upwards, barely audible, Because you find the true person with raw emotion…

He could feel her breathing growing heavier, and she trembled slightly against his touch, Vincent…

I am surprised, Valentine.

Ignoring Chaos, Vincent pressed his thumb into her rib, causing her to hitch her breath, and he nuzzled his head slightly into her neck, his cheek grazing her warm skin. He found his breathing heavier, and he whispered hoarsely, I… I cannot thank you enough…

*For letting me repent

Very surprised.

not calling me a*

Vincent watched Opera struggling to breath, and she closed her eyes, now relaxed instead of trying to hold back tears, I…I didn’t do anything…I…why are you thanking me?

*Because I know that she would want me to

Or perhaps you need a lot more than what you think.*

Vincent lifted his hand from Operas rib, and made the loose fist again, and gently rubbed up towards the middle of her stomach, using his knuckle once more, feeling the fabric between his knuckle and her skin. He stopped once he felt her first rib, and he could feel her nearly gasping for air. Vincent leaned more into her neck, and muffled from her dress, You have relieved me a… a memory I can now… Repent for what I have done…

Because I love her enough to let her be in peace

Oh, Vincent… She sounded as if she was going to start crying again, but she swallowed before she lost her composure, I’m glad…it makes me happy to hear that…that I could help you…that’s worth all the pain, and confusion, and fear…

*But that is not what you truly want, Vectra. You want to be in her place, and know that you are number one in choosing who to bed with. Knowing that you do not have to regret dearest Ern.

Stop it.*

TO BE CONTINUED

System_1 · June 22, 2003, 6:04am

Hoping she would not feel him give a slight tremble, Vincent opened the palm of his hand, and seemed to completely cover the area of her stomach, and she drew in a breath, holding it, and let it out slowly.

I…still don’t remember anything from the other day…I… She started, and Vincent felt with his hand that she was having quite the difficultly breathing.

But what you first feared most is what you want now.

I know…that I felt something that day, though…and it won’t go away. But I’m going to have to…and I don’t want to…the back of my mind is screaming at me that I’m not supposed to feel this way, that I shouldn’t be saying all this, but I can’t hold back…

She finished, and looked up at Vincent, her lips parted in the struggle for breath, and Vincent felt his own breathing start to stagger.

Vincent pressed in gently at her stomach with his thumb, and she gave a sudden release of air, and looked at him. Vincent closed his eye lids enough to just leave a little open to see her, and he barely was able to whisper, Yes?

She wants ever fiber of your being, Valentine. And you want hers.

Holy shit, that’s long O_o;;;

Your turn, Luna.

System_1 · June 22, 2003, 11:23pm

Opera turned her head to look at Vincent, all three of her eyes beginning to fill with tears. “Vincent…I…I want…” She trailed off, her voice beginning to crack with emotion.

Vincent just looked Opera in the eyes, keeping his hand right where it was as he waited for her to finish.

Now or never…only this one chance…just say it and be done with it. Lay the cards on the table.

Opera closed her eyes, trembling and barely breathing. “…this. You. Whatever we had that day. I shouldn’t, but I do…”

So much so that it hurts…bitter and sweet all at once.

“I don’t know what’s happened to me,” she continued, keeping her eyes closed. “What exactly I’m feeling, or why…I just know that I…feel something for you. I don’t know what. We still barely know each other. But I can’t stop myself from feeling whatever this is. I can’t make it go away any more than I could prevent myself from coming here in the first place.”

And now that I’m here with you, I’m not sure I want to make them go away…I wanted to before, but not anymore. Part of me wonders how I could have wanted that at all.

“I have no idea what you’re thinking, what you’re feeling…but I couldn’t leave you without telling you what I’m feeling.” Opera opened her eyes at last, revealing that they were still filled with tears, and now uncertainty. “There…I said it.”

Now it’s up to you…what do you say to me? What do you do? Do you break what’s left of my heart…or fill the cracks in it?

But instead of saying anything, Vincent merely brought up his hand to wipe the tears from Opera’s cheek, not losing eye contact with her as he did so. Opera closed her eyes again, leaning her face into his hand. “If…if I’ve said too much, or anything wrong, I’m sorry…” Another tear slid down her cheek. “This just feels like my last chance to say anything to you…”

Much as I want…no…need it to be otherwise…

Vincent wiped away the tear, and stared into her eyes, his hand remaining on her face. “No crying…I…” His voice dropped to a whisper. “I do not wish to see you upset if I can help it…”

Oh, why must you be so kind to me? You have no idea how long it’s been since I was treated like this…so long since anyone showed genuine concern for my feelings…so long that to finally receive such consideration again hurts as much it helps.

Opera swallowed hard. “Vincent, I…I don’t want to…I’m sorry…”

“Don’t be sorry…” Vincent’s voice was a gentle whisper as he moved his hand from her face and back down to her waist. Opera’s breath hitched, both from that and from the emotions churning inside her.

Why did I ever resist this? Did I honestly think I’d be better off running back to someone who hasn’t shown this much tender concern for me in ages? Perhaps ever, now that I begin to really think about it? Why’d I…think this wrong at all? I…somehow things seem to be making even less sense now.

“And even as I think about this…on another level it seems strange to be berating myself for finding comfort in someone else, someone other than the one who…ran away from me.” Opera’s voice was choked now as she struggled to hold yet more tears back. “He ran away from me…and if…when…I get back home to Tetragenes, my parents are going to be so furious with me. They’ve always tried to mold me into someone I’m not, and never will be. The perfect daughter, perfect heiress…that’s not who I am. And he ran…” She blinked furiously, trying desperately to keep the tears back. “Isn’t who I am good enough for anyone? Do I have to be someone I’m not to be loved and wanted? I-I just want someone to care about me for who I really am, and not some illusion…is that so much to ask?”

And I want that someone to be you. Not Ernest. Not anymore. I want us to have something real, not just a hazy blur of a day in which we might not have been ourselves. I want you to know the real me…and care for me. Not some shadowy imitation.

Vincent ran his thumb under Opera’s eyes to clear her tears away. “No…it is not. The most desirable is to be…cared for, no matter what…” he uttered under his breath.

Yes…and I want you to be the one to feel that for me…

“That’s all I want…all I’ve ever wanted…it always hurt so much to be sent the message that I could only have their approval if I behaved exactly as they wanted…that their love was conditional. So when Ernest showed a little interest…I clung to it.” Opera closed her eyes. “Too hard, it would seem…”

But I’m letting go now.

She felt Vincent’s hand drop from her face to her waist again, and sensed that he was watching her. “I’m tired of being the dog to chase after his thrown stick…faithful and loyal beyond any shred of intelligence. I’m tired of running. Of trying to get close, only to be pushed away. Run away from…”

The pursuit ends here. At least, the one for Ernest does…

Vincent rubbed gently at Opera’s hip, and her breath caught in her throat. “If it pleases you…break from the leash…”

I’d tell you what would truly please me, but I’m not sure how you’d react to that. I don’t want to send you running too…not now.

“I need to…I need to be free to be myself…and be loved in return for it. I don’t want to have to pretend or deny any part of myself. I’m sick of forcing myself to try and live up to their expectations, even when I really don’t want to and know I’ll fail…”

Please don’t tell me to keep trying, or that that attitude is why I’ll fail…because I used to think that I could get it “right” if I just kept trying…but nothing ever worked. Nothing ever will work. I need to get that into my head at long last. Sometimes you just have to give up when you’re not getting anywhere.

Vincent didn’t say anything, just gently caressed up to Opera’s ribs, and she felt him nod slightly.

…You can’t possibly know what you’re doing to me. There’s just no way. And if you do…then that opens up two possibilities. One that I would dearly love to be true, and the other…too painful to give thought to.

Opera swallowed and shivered involuntarily. “Everything seems to be spinning and falling down around me…everything I know and feel…”

And that doesn’t even begin to sum it up…

“If…you can be the one left standing by the end…” Vincent paused, and she opened her eyes to see him close his and bow his head. “Then…you have to believe that you were left standing even if all else collapsed…”

I don’t want to stand alone, though…I’m slowly realizing that I want to stand beside you…you and no one else.

Sighing, Opera rested her head against Vincent. “Do you know what also frightens me? The possibility of this all turning out to be a dream. And not remembering it when I wake up.”

I forgot one whole day already…I don’t want to forget the rest of my time with you, or what I’m feeling right now, or the decisions I’ve been starting to make.

Vincent’s hand moved to right below Opera’s chest, and he whispered hoarsely, “No, it is not a dream…”

*…

…Dear sweet Tria. That feels far too good to be a product of my subconcious. No, definitely not a dream…*

“It better not be…it feels too real to want to let go of…”

Or to be more accurate, to want to BE let go of.

“It is not a dream, I assure you.” Vincent’s voice was barely audible.

No, no, it’s not. Would that all my dreams felt like this, though…maybe I’d sleep better at night.

Opera’s grip on Vincent tightened a little. “If it were…I wouldn’t want to wake up.”

As someone in a favorite story of mine said…I’d choose to sleep forever, if it’d mean I’d never stop dreaming. Though I doubt this is what she had in mind, heh.

Vincent just nodded, and began gently stroking her side.

“I don’t want to forget this…but I don’t want it to just be a memory either…I don’t want to go back to where I’m not really needed…”

I don’t want you to stop what you’re doing…

“I don’t even know if such a place exists…a place where I’m needed.” Opera barely restrained a sigh as she said it.

System_1 · June 22, 2003, 11:27pm

Please prove me wrong…say it does…say it’s right here. Please…

Vincent pulled Opera up against him, and leaned his head into the side of her neck. Keeping his hand on her waist, he took a heavy breath and spoke, though just barely. “Nor do I…”

…Once again I demonstrate how much of a fool I am…damn.

“That isn’t true…” Opera sounded unsure of herself.

“If…such a place existed, then I would not be worthy of it…”

So very untrue. You’re already there. And you deserve it more than anyone else I’ve ever met.

“That isn’t true either…and…” Opera trailed off, sounding, if possible, even less sure of herself than she had but a moment ago.

Damn…I’m probably saying too much again…as usual.

As though to prove her thoughts correct, Vincent suddenly let go of Opera, and stepped back, searching through her eyes. The color drained from her face as she realized that she had indeed said more than she should have.

“I’ve…said too much, haven’t I?” Looking ill and afraid, she covered her mouth and bowed her head, her whole body shaking. “I…I…I’ve done it again…”

And now you’ll run from me just as he did…I’ve scared off another one…oh god…am I doomed to spend my life frightening away those I care about? Cursed to fall for older men who don’t want to get close to me? Is that to ever be my fate? I…

“No, Opera, it is not you…” Vincent let out a long, drawn-out sigh, and when he next spoke, it was barely a whisper. “Because I would not be worthy of such a place…I…failed h…” His voice trailed away, full of an anguish that wrenched at Opera’s heart.

So what? So what? You think I care about that? The past…is there to let us learn from it…it doesn’t do any good to just lament it, if we don’t try to glean the knowledge that it can impart to us. Not to mention that the past will only repeat itself if you don’t learn from it. Vincent…just because you made one mistake…it doesn’t mean you have to stop living because of that. Learn from it and move on…you’re not accomplishing anything by wallowing in this misery. Except maybe driving yourself slowly insane with the pain and grief…and I can’t stand the thought of that.

“Stop saying that!” It was plainly obvious to anyone within earshot that she was crying now, and she hated hearing herself like that, knowing that he could hear it too. “Haven’t you suffered enough over one mistake? You’re a good person…and good people make mistakes too. You don’t deserve to torture yourself like this…”

I don’t want to see you like this…

Hearing something, Opera looked up, her face stained with tears, to see Vincent holding out his cloak to her again. She didn’t accept it this time either, however, and instead spoke again to him in a strained voice. “Look, Vincent…run away from me if you like. Everyone else does. But at least listen to me before you go.”

Just do that much for me…please…

She drew a deep breath and continued. “I care about you. I need you here with me right now, before I have to go back to that place. And if I didn’t think you were worthy, I wouldn’t feel this way. So please…please…don’t keep beating yourself up over something you can’t change. It’s not going to do you or anyone else any good, ever.”

It also hurts to listen to…more than you can probably imagine.

When Vincent spoke again, his voice was strangely hoarse, and she could hear him breathing heavily. “Opera…I am not going to run…” He lifted his hand and gently rested it on the side of Opera’s neck.

…You’re not? You’re…going to stay…oh god…oh god…I…there are no words to describe this feeling…

Trembling visibly, Opera bowed her head again. “You…have no idea how much it means to me to hear that…” she whispered, bringing her hand up to cover his.

No idea at all…

When he didn’t move his hand or say anything, Opera pressed on. “I…just want to be somewhere I’m needed…but I don’t know where that is…or if it can exist…I don’t know where to go…”

Tell me I can stay here…tell me it’s right here…tell me that you…

“Opera…” Vincent stepped back up to her and spoke softly. “It exists if you believe it exists…do not give up hope…”

No…I…why…I want it to exist right here…

“I’ve searched for so long…chased after it…trying to make it exist. I’m so afraid that it never will.” Opera’s voice was filled with hopelessness.

Say I’m wrong…say I’m wrong…please…tell me I’m wrong…

Vincent raised his hand slightly, placing his thumb on Opera’s cheek. “Opera…if it is what you want most, then make it yours.”

What I want most right now, Vincent, is you. But it’s becoming painfully clear that I can’t have you.

Opera sighed. “I…don’t think I can do that…”

Because as with Ernest, I can’t make you feel something you don’t for me. No matter how much I wish otherwise.

Vincent didn’t say anything, just slowly brought his hand down to Opera’s shoulder.

Opera sighed inwardly, and let her hand drop to her side again. “I’m starting to realize that you can’t always have what you want…for all my confidence and bravado, I’m not as strong as I seem. I don’t have the strength to get what I want the way I want it…somewhere deep inside is still a frightened little girl desperately wanting the approval she knows she’ll never get…”

Wanting a man she can never have…

A quiet moment passed, then Vincent did something she didn’t expect. He gently pulled her closer to him, caressing down her back, and his voice was but a whisper as he finally said something to her. “And the raw emotion you feel now…”

“It frightens me. Because it’s the most intense I’ve felt in a very long time,” Opera replied quietly.

Perhaps ever…

Vincent just nodded in agreement, running his hand up and down her back again. Opera’s voice was even quieter when she spoke again. “And what’s particularly bad about it…is that it doesn’t have anywhere to go. I have nowhere to channel it to.”

I’d like for you to tell me otherwise, but I really doubt you will.

Vincent gently leaned the side of his head into Opera’s, his breathing still heavy. “Channel what you need to to me…even if it is back where you are going to, back where…know that I will be listening, no matter where you are…”

*…

…well, you obviously don’t know what it is exactly that you’re telling me to do…*

Opera didn’t move for a moment, then slowly slid her arms around him. “I…don’t want to be anywhere but here…”

System_1 · June 22, 2003, 11:35pm

Here goes nothing…I can hope to get something in return, but there’s a slim chance of that…

Vincent slowly dragged his hand up to her rib. “Nor do I…”

*…

…maybe I was wrong…? I…oh god, I want to think so, but…*

“I…” Opera paused, once again struggling with fresh tears and uncertainty. “I want to be where you are…” Her voice was barely audible.

Rubbing gently with his hand, Vincent lowered his head so that his nose touched near the back of Opera’s neck.

Say something, please…prove that I was wrong earlier…

Opera’s voice was strained as she continued to talk to him. “Even if you don’t want me here, I still want to be here. I…really haven’t changed…that much.” She sighed deeply.

Am I always to be running after those who don’t wish to be caught by me?

To her surprise, Vincent held her closer to him and granted her wish, his voice barely able to be called a whisper. “Opera…if there was anyone I could be wi…” He paused a moment, and brought his left claw to gently rest at her waist. “Where I go, I…would want to have you by my side…”

…oh my god. You did it…you proved me wrong…you did it…you really did it…oh god…I’ve never been so glad to have been wrong…never before…

Opera went very still in his arms, barely breathing. “Do you…truly mean that?”

Say yes…say yes…please say yes…please.

Vincent just nodded, slowly breathing in from his nose on Opera’s neck.

…I don’t have any words for this…none at all…

Opera instinctively held him tighter, her heart pounding loudly in her ears. “I…can’t possibly…express in any words what that means to me…I wouldn’t know where to begin.”

Vincent remained silent, save for letting his breath out on her neck, his hand gently caressing at her ribs.

…This all feels almost too good to be true…almost…

Opera trembled a bit at his touch before speaking again. “Why…why can’t I stay here? Why do we have to leave? I want this…need this…but I can’t have it. Why? It doesn’t seem fair…”

“Because…” Vincent nuzzled his head slightly into Opera’s neck, barely speaking. “Fate has a funny way of acting…”

Thus far it’s been a bad actor who needs to be kicked off the stage.

Opera turned her head slightly against his. “I want to control mine…now…where I am. I don’t want to be led around anymore, away from…what I want.”

Away from you…

“Trying to control it is like playing with fire…” He was clearly trying to keep his breathing even, Opera noticed with a start. Much the way she had earlier.

My…how very, very wrong I truly was, it seems…

Opera leaned into him more. “I’d rather burn than be trapped in ice…”

Rather feel your warmth than try to win Ernest’s cold heart…

Vincent’s hand caressed her just below her shoulder. “Or covered in ashes…”

Opera’s voice dropped to a whisper. “I don’t want to be frozen…unable to move, to live…to feel.”

To have this…

Abruptly, Vincent brought his head up to look at Opera. Reaching out to take her hand, he placed it over the left side of his chest. Below her palm, she could feel that his heart was beating as rapidly as her own. “…Do you feel anything?” he asked quietly.

Opera slowly nodded. “I do…” she whispered.

So very wrong was I…

“This… stone in my chest has not done this in years…” He paused a moment, watching her. “And I do not want you to…have a stone of your own…”

Not possible…not when it’s beating this fast…just by being near you…just not possible.

Opera slowly turned her hand to hold his. “I…can’t. Not at this moment, anyway…not like this.”

Trust me…there’s no way that could happen right now…

“Do not…” His voice was barely a whisper. “…ever let a stone form…”

Can’t happen…no way of that.

Opera’s hand tightened around his. “I won’t…I promise…I can at least give you that…”

And more, if you’ll only let me…

Vincent said nothing, just watched her closely. Opera closed her eyes, now breathing as heavily as he had been earlier. “Let me assure you…my heart feels anything but hard right now…”

So, so far from that…

Closing his eyes, Vincent bowed his head slightly and gave Opera’s hand a momentary squeeze. Feeling braver, she moved a bit closer to him. “But…you’ve done something to change it,” she whispered. “And I don’t mean that in any sort of negative way…”

Vincent opened his eyes at that and gazed silently back at Opera, breathing rather heavily and nodding. Opera swallowed hard. “Thank you…for not running. For staying with me. I don’t know how I would’ve dealt with scaring off someone else…”

“I am trying to not…run away anymore…”

And for that, you have more of my gratitude than you could ever know.

“After everything that’s happened to me…in the end, what I truly fear is…fear. In those that I want to stay with me.” In you, she added silently. Vincent just nodded, and let his hand drop to her waist, still watching her. Her courage growing, she tentatively slipped her arm around his neck. “I…was so afraid that you’d be frightened of me…the way I feel right now scares even me…”

The intensity alone is enough to frighten me…

Vincent seemed to hold his breath, and when he spoke, she could barely hear him. “Such feelings are…hard to face, sometimes…”

Yes…I think you do have an idea of just how hard…

“I know they’re real…whatever it is that they are. And I want…to be wanted for who I really am. I’m tired of trying to hold onto scared rabbits…”

I’d rather hold onto you, and have you hold me in return.

“I think both of us are tired of doing so,” Vincent murmured as he pulled Opera slightly closer into him.

A small sigh escaped her lips. “I’m so glad I didn’t scare you away…”

Looking down at her, Vincent nodded, and began to caress at her waist again. Opera closed her eyes, and leaned closer to him. “Somehow…everything else feels so far away right now. I wish it would all just stay away…”

I wish I could stay away from everyone but you…

“As do I…”

“There’s so little time…I don’t want to waste any of it.” Opera sighed again.

Vincent pulled his head slightly closer to hers. “Then don’t…”

I don’t intend to. Not anymore.

“I won’t…” Opera’s breathing was uneven, and she was trembling again.

Vincent didn’t say anything, but just looked directly into her eyes.

What now? What do I say…do?

Opera reached up to touch his face with a trembling hand. “Vincent…” she whispered hoarsely.

“…yes?” he whispered back, his voice every bit as hoarse as hers.

“I…don’t have any words…just…” Opera closed her eyes and leaned forward.

What I want to…say…goes beyond that form of expression…

Vincent didn’t reply, but just kept holding her, and gently rubbed her lower back.

…Now or never, Opera. Just one chance…now or never…reach out and take what you want…

Opera’s voice was still hoarse as she spoke again. “If…I can only have this moment…then I want to make the best of it. I don’t want any regrets.” Her heart beating painfully fast, she leaned forward…and kissed him.

System_1 · June 25, 2003, 11:18am

Postlude Sin and Passing I

This swordthat it should appear to me again

Mesdoram Elmdor wedged his bare feet into the sand as he sat down, Chirijiraden sheathed at his side. But that was not the sword he had thought of. In his hand, he held that blade which was the once and future bane he presumed of even those for whom time had little meaning. He held Forever Sin in his hand for the first time, looking at it not through the haze of battle, but able to concentrate on it as it lay still, its dark tip thrust into the sand next to his feet.

So peaceful. So uncharacteristically benign. But yet, the lid on the eye of Forever Sin never shut; the sword of negative spirit did not rest, did not sleep.

*It is so. It is this sword I have to thank for allowing me to re-take the stage of my mind.

Even as Zalera drew the souls into ourself, Forever Sin devoured all negative aspects the pain, the loathing, fear, mistrust, repressed anger into itself. Almost as if it were a purifying blade, the spirits became more clean, and my will was able to break to the surface of that thoughtful womb.

But what an erratic flowa sword that can both purify the soul, or poison it beyond any salvation.*

Amethyst had confirmed what he had thought; that the mage, though armed with a gods portion of vehement wrath, did not desire destruction. Was he then the better man for having power and knowing how to control it? Perhaps he was power was not power unless its wielder knew how to control and direct it toward their specific ends. Some had power, fewer still knew how to use it well. And then.

Vaaaaaa-deerrrrrrrrr! A dog sprinted across the beach, and Elmdor could see what looked like a slim, shiny book with an undressed woman on the cover clenched in the animals teeth. Following it mere paces behind but slowing down due to the fact that he was a gamer was Jason Soe, the carefree young man Elmdor had met in the Nipanese city of the ninja. You give me back myenlightened reading this instant! he shouted above the lulling crash of the waves over the sandy shore.

Whoa, whoa, slow down there Elmdor stretched out his hand, seeming to gently bring the running boy to a halt moments before the two wouldve collided. What do you think youre chasing?

Oh hey, its you! Havent seen you in a while, man. Jason re-adjusted his bearings, still breathing rather heavily from the fast sprint.

Yourself likewise, Elmdor replied, though the fact that you stand before me now shows me that youre well enough. He smiled a small smile the perserverence of youth; it was a powerful, if untamed force. So, what brings you all the way out to the middle of my solitude?

Well, see, I had this berry, yeah, and then I traded it for a carbon bangle, right? Then this water sword that Ky gave me finally coughed up a blue element which will have justified this whole trip, in Professor Rufflebergs mind and then Vader just nosed into my PERC bag and grabbed some light reading material of mine andwellnow Im here. Elmdor stood, merely looking at him and nodding with a semi-confused expression plastered all over his face.

Thats certainly somestory, Jason Soe. You certainly get around, dont you? Elmdor walked through the white sands to a beached log that lay entrenched in the sand nearby. Sitting down on it, he leaned over to gaze at the sea, a salty breeze catching wisps of his silver hair.

Yeah, suppose you could say that, replied Jason. Ive been to a couple of these fighting tournaments already, like I told you before. If anything, it raised the bar for abnormality. Ghosts and space aliens? All breakfast cereal to me, my friend. Ive had front row seats for displays of the powers of ultimate darkness.

Come, come; sit beside me awhile and regain your breath. Elmdor beckoned the boy with his hand, bare of the imposing gauntlet that normally covered it. I dont biteoften. Jason, despite the swordsmans mirthful remark, seemed grateful of the offer, shuffling over to the log to take a seat beside the silver-haired samurai. There now, catch your breath. It can be good to run, but if you run through everything; if you take everything at face value; if you dont stop to observe, you may find that you miss out on some of lifes true riches.

That sounds oddly like the moral of some movie, Jason replied, now in the process of removing his shoes to dump piles of sand out of them. Besides, I do things my own way. When I want to relax, Ill play some games or something. When I want action, therere always these tournaments to test my mettle with.

Do you remember what I said to you when we spoke in Mithriken? Elmdor changed the subject suddenly, returning to the time when he and Jason had talked on a wide red bridge, looking out at perhaps another sea. I wanted to knowdo you think that with your ideas, you can change the world?

WellI thought about it a bit, but I realized that I didnt really know if Id want to change the world. I mean, therere a lot of good ways someone could change the world save lives, eradicate world hunger, wipe out a disease but there are a lot of bad ways you could change the world too. Id rather do things that would make the world a better place to live in.

That is fine one need not wish to change the world in order to actually change it. Elmdor smiled. I also asked you, at that time, if you could truly survive as you are. Jason looked at him quizzically, and the swordsman continued. As one progresses sometimes due to skill and sometimes due to just random chance they will encounter increasing difficulty and hardship. One day, you may face a hardship beyond your ability to handle. I do not know what form it will take it could take the form of a race against time, the form of a person, or even the form of a battle for which you are unprepared. What if a great swordsman challenged you? Could you emerge the victor? Power and security can be had but for a price. The coin paid, Jason, is the forsaking of an idyllic life in exchange for a life of determination and devotion. As you lend out pieces of your life and your time to the mastery of certain arts, you lose the ability to say youre truly doing what you want. For that matterdo you think theres anyone who really does only what they want?

Wellhuhnever really thought about it. Where I come from, we all keep laws so that everyone can have as much freedom as possible. We pay taxes to support the upholding of laws and those who create and interpret them. Even in just dealing with friends and family, we generally try to be a certain way. Jason nodded his head as he spoke, so from that point of view, I suppose someone could say that nobody truly just goes around doing what they want. Deftly maneuvering his hands, he pulled the laces of his right shoe tight. We might even all be puppets; who knows? If we are but dont know it, what does it change? I still think I do what I feel like doing. The left sneaker slid over his foot, now free of sand.

I see Elmdor folded his hands together quietly, his eyes looking somewhere beyond the horizon. Soyoure content with what life has given you, yet you yearn for that which you know not, grasping for more power; more knowledge

Who said I was content with what life handed me? I aint no begger, eh? The teenage boy stood up and stretched, his shadow short in the mid-afternoon sun. He was about to turn, when Elmdors voice brought him around again.

Dont leave in such haste I have something for you, Sir Jason Soe. Elmdors face was now serious, calm as a sea of solid glass. I have for you a curse and a blessing; a mission and a favor, and yet an opportunity and a chance.

Well, dont leave me hangin here, man and this better not be one of those word-games that every guy with long hair seems to like playing.

Continued +

System_1 · June 25, 2003, 11:28am

Simply this, Jason Soe. Receive now what I give to you. He plucked from his belt a sheathed longsword as easily as if it were a conductors baton, and tossed the covered blade to Jason. Hearing the solid smack and rattle of the sword as it landed firmly in Jasons outstretched grasp reminded him of the many times hed been tossed one of his katanas just before leaving home.

Youregiving me this sword? he started to unsheathe it, but Elmdors eyes stayed his hand.

Do not draw this sword, Jason Soeat least, that is my advice. In truth, in a days time, I will not be around to stop you from doing as you wish with it. This sword is called Forever Sin. It is a legendary negative weapon, capable of irrevocably staining the souls of those its blade damages. At the same time, though, it has shown itself to purify souls by taking their impurities into itself. This sword I bequeath to you with a mission, however. On your travels, you may meet a man by the name of Fabian. Handsome and clad in black, with a level-headed intelligence surpassing all others, hes not someone youd mistake for anyone else. When you meet Fabian, I want you to give this sword to him.

Why me? And why him? Why dont you just keep it, if its really as dangerous as you say? Jasons hand held the sword, unsure of whether to accept it or to thrust it back at Elmdor, who had offered it to him almost as a trifling token.

As for memy story is nearing its true close, Jason. This is a task I cannot do myself; you must do it. And not only because of my circumstance, but because I wish to see what kind of man you will become. Even with this sword at your disposal, can you remain the same free-spirited young man? Elmdor took a deep breath and continued. As for Fabianhes not technically the owner of the sword, if one even truly exists, but I believe hell know what to do with it. And besidestheres something inside me that I cant explain that compels me to get Forever Sin back in his hands. Perhaps its merely the fear of what would happen if it fell into the wrong hands, butperhaps its something more. But dont take my word for it, Jason. Live. Learn. Look at the sword from time to time. I have a feeling that by the time you gaze into Fabians eyes, youll have learned something important about yourself that you didnt know before.

Wellthanks for the vote of confidence. Jason smiled meekly as he respectfully set the blade inside of his PERC bag, its hilt finally disappearing from view as it sank into the bag that could carry everything. Sometimes you look scary or say some confusing things, but overall, youre a pretty good guy, Mr. Elmdor. Ill try out what you said; Im gonna work on my swordplay some more. Nobodys born knowing how to wield a weapon, right? He repeated Elmdors words back to him, causing the older man to show a hint of satisfaction. He wanted to say more; to ask more questions, but the words wouldnt come. Perhaps it wasnt the time yet for those questions or their answers. He turned to see Vader still skipping along the beach, playing tag with the rolling surf.

Vaaaaaaaa-der! Whered you toss my mag!? Picking up speed and kicking up sand, he began running after his dog again. But even though hed acquired something new, his burden felt a bit more lightat least at the moment. But really, one could anticipate the future as much as they wanted, and still only be prepared for the present. That was the way hed played it so far, and so hed continue. He looked back at the log, when hed run a way, but Elmdor was no longer sitting on it. Nor was he anywhere to be seen on the shoreline.

Somehow, Jason wasnt surprised.

You can see it if you wantIll show you what kind of life Im going to livewhat kind of man Im going to be. Andthanks for your confidence in me.

*** Elmdor has bequeathed both a mission and a chance for self-discovery to Jason Soe in the form of the legendary sword of negative energies, Forever Sin. It might be able to teach the energetic teenager a new truth, but its subversive power and the extreme danger to both user and victim its use presents should never be underestimated. As powerful as it is, one can assume that in time, the Eternals will seek it out and try to reclaim it.

How will Jason Soe, tournament veteran, react to his newfound responsibility? You’ll have to tune in to Survivor XI to find out! ***

System_1 · July 6, 2003, 9:39am

Since Baka’s real busy starting work on SXI, I’m writing the Followup to this. for continuity sake, this post chronologically take’s place before Tenken’s.

“Ugh… Jason?” The stunned man asked.

“Yeah. Sorry about that, man.” Jason said in reply, holding his hand out to help the swordsman up. “Thought no one was around, so I thought I’d try something.”

Taking hold of the alchemist’s hand, Ky tried to regain his senses while being pulled onto his feet. “What was that light just now?”

And then an evil thought crossed Jason’s mind.

“Well… You know how they say you go blind if you do too much…?” The fanboy trailed off as the frenchman’s eyes grew wider. “Well apparently it applies to nearby people as wel-”

“W-W-WHAAAAAAAAT?!” Ky shrieked, practically jumping back from Jason . “Have you no SHAME?! Why did I let you touch my hand?! I knew I shouldn’t have used fingerless gloves!”

“Whoa, whoa! Wait! I was just kidding, man!” Jason shouted in his defense. Ky stopped his rant as the achemist continued. “It was just a joke! I didn’t think you’d freak out that much.”

“… So what were you doing?”

“I was extracting an Element from that sword you lent me. And before you ask, nothing bad happened to it.”

“Is this another alchemist’s skill?” Ky asked, his shock now gone.

“Well, actually it’s a technique I was just given.”

“Given…?”

“Is it safe yet?” Ky asked.

“Almost… yeah. You can look now.” Jason answered. Warily, Ky opened his eyes to see that the offensive light from earlier was not to be found. Finished with the drawing of the Yellow Element, the younger man picked the Fuuraiken off the ground and held towards it’s owner. “Here you go, and not a thing wrong with it.”

“I see that.” Ky said back, smiling slightly. “So a girl named Mint gave you some sort of magic?”

“Yeah. It’s kinda like my job to collect stuff like this. My world doesn’t really having special forms of magics and such, so a friend of back home gave me this bag after my first tournament to try and find anything worth while back home for study.” Remembering the other blade was still on the ground, Jason reached for the Fuusuiken. “It’s a project for him to learn about this stuff and figure out how it works. Here’s your other sword by the way.”

Ky simply smiled back. “Keep it. It’s a good weapon, but I won’t have much use of it back home.”

“Well… Thanks!” The boy exclaimed. “I’m not that good with a sword yet, but I’ve been practicing more and- hey! do you mind doing a big favor for me?”

“A favor?”

“Basically, I’d like a tutor. Someone to teach me about advanced swordsmanship. Like I said, my world doesn’t have much in the way of special abilities, so it’d be great if you could teach me some of your techniques.” Realizing how absurd he might be sounding to the swordsman, Jason reached into his perc.

“Uh, w-well.” Ky stammered, surprised that his friend wanted him to come to his homeworld. “I’m… flattered your inviting me to your world, I doubt I’d be sent to your wourld instead of mine. Also, I have responsiblities in my own world, so-”

“Who said anything about you coming home with me?”

“What in the name of-”

“Hold it! You shouldn’t finish that sentence, considering your a holy man and all.” Jason pointed out, though not speaking at all. He held up his hand to reveal a small blue gem lined by a silver band. “This little bauble here is known as a Call Bead, and they can be mass produced back home. As you can probably guess, it has the power to let you communicate with people through their minds, even transmit energies and powers to the one holding the bead. But what’s really great about these is that they can work across different realities. So that means you can give me lessons without actually being there.”

“That is, if you want to.” He finished, using his own voice. “So how about it? Mind sparing me a few pointers every now and then?”

Ky smiled again. “Sure. I don’t mind.”

“Great. I’m gonna unwind a little once I’m back home, these tournaments wear me down a bit. But after that, I’ll start back on my training.” Saying that, he placed the Fuusuiken into his PERC, and turned away. “Well I should go now. I still need to find some more stuff to bring back home, and I know there’s someone here who might be have some available materia. So, Seeya!”

“Hold on! I have one more question.” Ky stated.

“What’s that?”

“You don’t really… You know.” The swordsman cringed as he spoke, still suspicious of Jason. “That joke you played earlier?”

“That? Heck no!” Jason replied. “I wouldn’t be caught dad doing that! And especially not in the middle of a forest of all places!”

“Oh really?”

“Huh?!” Looking down, Jason saw Vader head pop out of the PERC. Before drawing the Element, the canine had changed again into his cat form, forcing Jason to stuffed his friend into the miniature storeroom to avoid complaints. He had reverted to a less embarrasing form, but in his mouth… “Ack! What do you think your doing?!”

With the naughty magazine still in his mouth, the greyhound form of Vader hopped out of the PERC and stared at his keeper. “Considering you’re the one that handles my food, think of this as a safety precaution!” With that, the shapeshifter turned and ran as fast as he could into the forest.

“Vader! Get back here!” As Jason ran off in pursuit, Ky simply watched the two run off, his eyebrow twitching in annoyance.

But after a few more seconds, he burst out into laughter.

Jason has gained the Call Bead Ally, Ky Kiske! In addition, Jason has gained the Yellow Element, and has been given the water elemental sword, Fuusuiken! Me and Baka already agreed to these gifts and such beforehand.

Now to get start on pre SXI stuff.

System_1 · July 14, 2003, 7:10am

Survivor XI

So, the next survivor is being worked on? Will it take place on this forum board? If not, where would i look for info on it and the start date when it is announced?

Psycho_Power_J · July 14, 2003, 2:17pm

You’re a bit late. The Survivor XI has already started and is halfway through. You can look at it here:

http://forum.randominsanity.org/viewforum.php?f=22

ShinkuuR · July 15, 2003, 4:04am

Sorry this took so long Sho, but I get really lazy during the summer. I’ll finish the last part sooner, promise. Hope you like it.

Rydia’s Epilogue: Part 2 of 3

The pain.

It was the only thing that she knew for certain was true. The thing that stood out like a beacon of light among all of the unknown possibilities that the future could bring. The one thing, above all others, that confirmed that she still existed in the universe.

That, and the light but constant sprinkles of liquid that surrounded her just as much as her newfound forest surroundings did, showering her body with the wonderment of mother nature as the raindrops rolled off her cheek and plummeted back into the earth from which it came.

As Rydia finally managed to pull herself up from the muddy rainforest floor, she had no idea how she came to be in this place. The only thing she remembered was a strange figure that reminded her of one of those Grim Reaper type monsters that she has fought several times before in her own world, and fighting off the intrusions that Sho was trying to burrow into her mind. Rydia still could feel the effects of the latter, as the throbbing pain in her cranium constantly made its presence known as she approached the cave she spotted in the horizon. As she walked into the cave she immediately started sweating as a result of the high levels of humidity, and like so many times before she constructed an ice shield to deal with the heat. It dissipated within a couple of seconds.

What in the world She didnt get the chance to complete the thought as a loud bellowing sound roared from the depths of the cave, and then instantly a blast of steam shout out and surrounded the surprised summoner. She desperately pulled her cloak over her face and ducked down to avoid the heat of the gaseous substance, but to her surprise it was actually cool. After a while the steam ceased, and Rydia stood back up and removed the fabric from her face, only to be shocked when she realized that she was not in the cave anymore.

She was in hell.

Crack.

The sound spread from her hand and echoed throughout the cave, disappearing into the darkness.

It always has to be something, doesnt it? King sighed as she cracked her knuckles again, trying to make sure that her hand was fully flexible after her run in with the guards at the entrance. She heard that the caves here had some sort of magical properties, and remembering her conversation with Jason she reasoned that the powers here would be able to send her home. The Avren guards, however, didnt take kindly to a sight seeing tour, and fighting ensued.

She massaged her right shoulder with her left hand as she continued walking through the cave, recalling the battle in perfect detail. The guards were quite skilled at combat, but no one was about to come between her and a nice hot bath. The battle ended quickly, with her receiving a mild case of battle arthritis. The guards werent so lucky as they would probably be knocked out for several hours. She smiled at that last point absently, proud of herself for such a well done job.

Her thoughts stopped as she heard a loud knocking sound coming from just around the corner that sounded like someone pounding on a tree. King hugged the wall and peeked around the corner to see who was there, and her jaw dropped.

It was her.

The burning signpost that lay on the ground near Rydias feet did indeed read Village of Mist, but thats not what this place was. This abomination took the peace and tranquility of the newborn village and replaced it the sheer horror that could only come from a demons worst nightmares. The once green land that surrounded the village was turned into a charred wasteland, littered with the broken and twisted bodies of humans, demons, and figures that were too distorted to be properly identified. The buildings themselves looked like images from a fairy tale, as not only were they liberally burned but also twisted much like a towel or a piece of tissue, so that they looked more like demonic trees than homes. The air smelled like asphalt and rotting carcass, and she could hear the faint screams of the dead that echoed in the wind as she walked under the blood red sky.

Thiswhat is this? Rydia screamed to the heavens, trying to convince herself that this was not her home as the bones of neighbors and friends snapped and crackled under her feet, but where she looked around she could always notice the landmarks. The inn still stood near the entrance, even though it was cut in half and decimated by fire. The signpost for the new summoners hall stood without a scratch, but the building itself had imploded, replacing the magnificent structure with stone rubble. The crops that the townspeople went through so much toil and hardship to produce still stood proudly, sharing their home with the maggots who were too busy eating the carcasses of dead flesh to notice the summoner. And her house

Her house was as good as new. In fact, she could have sworn that it was glowing.

She ran to the house as fast as her little feet could take her, and when she arrived the summoner almost threw up at the sight. Her porch had disappeared under the numerous bones and skeletons, a few of them standing out as they were dressed in armor and still had hair attached, and she sobbed as she recognized the armors and weapons of her comrades Cecil, Rosa, Kain, Edge, Palom, Porom, Edward, and Yang. So much so that she didnt even realize that there was someone was standing near the door.

Yeah right. You dont care about them anyway.

She nearly died when she looked up at the figure that spoke the words.

It was her.

“stupid!”

WHAM

Stupid!

WHAM!

STUPID!

WHAM!

King looked at the nineteen year old version of herself as it performed relentless kicks on the helpless tree, the background looking exactly like the backyard of her house in Thailand bathed in the sunset. She noticed the sobbing that barely shown beneath the pure fury and savagery of the strikes, and sadness filled within her as she took in the sight. Somehow she didnt think about the how and the why of the image, but only when it was.

It was the day when she went to sign up for the grand tournament that happened once a year in the country, a tournament where all the greatest Muay Thai fighters would compete for the championship. She was confident as she had fought and defeated many amateur and intermediate skilled opponents in and above her weight class, but this was the first real tournament where she would battle against professional fighters and past champions such as Adon, Joe Higashi, and last years champion Sagat. She could still remember the nervousness in her voice as she approached the sign up bench.

It was the day when those bastards laughed at her and the notion that she wanted to be a fighter. Ridiculed her for being inferior as a woman, saying she should just go wash dishes or, as one person eloquently put it, that she should go out on the street corner and sell herself like the bitch she was. King managed to execute a quick elbow strike to the guy, swiftly breaking his nose, but there was no way she could fight off the festive crowd now surrounding her, even though the sheer fury she felt was convincing her otherwise. She broke through and ran home, somehow able to make it to the security of her backyard before she erupted into tears.

It was the day when, throughout the sobs and the curses and the pain, she cursed herself for being weak enough to grieve in the first place. She had to be the strong one for her family after her mother died giving birth to Jan. She had to be the strong one after she received the news that her father was killed in a shootout between two drug cartels. She was the one who took up Muay Thai so she could be strong enough to stand up to anyone and to avoid pain from anyone, but yet here she was crying.

“STUPID!!!” The younger screamed as though she could feel Kings thoughts.

It was the day where she renounced being a woman. The day the vowed to never be weak again.

King just stared at the image, once again refusing not to cry or scream or anything else that might have shown weakness, like she has done ever since this moment happened.

You always were the strong one, werent you?

She recognized the voice easily, but when she turned around and confirmed the voices identity, she still couldnt believe it.

Mmmother?

Same hair, same cloak, same whipthe figure was identical to Rydia in every way except two: The figures eyes were blood red and the smile was just as hellish and terrifying as her home was right now. She was pretty sure that if she was a demon, this is what she would look likeand it scared her.

Hmmm. If I cared at all, I would say that youre somewhat cute, even for an imp. The voice was hers mixed in with the voice that was in her heador was it coming from her head? Sho did this., she realized as she spat her words toward the figure.

What did you do to my friends??!!

Your what? Devil Rydia furrowed her brow slightly at her counterpart. They werent your friends. You only used those animals to serve your own needs. You could care less if they died. The devil then raised her eyebrow slightly. Im actually impressed. You have the makings of a good demon. Keep it up.

They ARE my friends. And I will never be a demon like you.

The demon summoner exhaled, clearly annoyed by the comment. You know, I just love how all you creatures try so hard to cling to your ideas of surviving and companionship. Always trying to act like you can do NO wrong. She threw her arms into the air like she was fighting a hopeless struggle. Always trying to act like you save the entire fucking universe. Thats why we demons call you worthless animals. You are ignorant of your proper place.

The demon walked up and stood next to Rydia, causing the summoner to back up and prepare a magic spell for defense. Devil Rydia smiled and waved her off, instead opting to inhale the stale air that surrounded the pair.

Dont you just love being awake for the sunrise, Rydia? This place smells just like home. You have excellent taste.

What are you talking about, Sho? Rydia asked, wanting to just blast the demon and leave this nightmare as quick as possible.

This is your future. And you will cause it.

ShinkuuR · July 15, 2003, 4:14am

The woman was a couple of inches shorter and had light brunette hair, but other than that she and King looked exactly alike, given the age difference. Her mother was dressed in a white robe and the brightest smile that King has ever seen sincewell the last time she saw her. She wanted to run into her arms but stopped herself, opting to keep a composed and strong image instead.

Hello, Annette.

Its King, mother. She said, making sure to stand up straight.

Yeah, sure. King watched as her mother turned her attention to the young girl kicking the hell out of the tree. King : Noun. Sovereign or chief who is a man or boy. Also known as the best example of a species kind or the preeminent man in a specific area or sphere. And you are a woman, Annette. A king cant be a woman by definition, you know.

Is this going to be another teacher vs. student conversation? King muttered, slightly annoyed by the fact that her mother was still starting conversations like the teacher she was.

Maybe. She turned around to face her daughter, smile beaming. Ive been watching you, you know. Youve done so much for Jan and became such a great person on your own. Im so proud that you are my child.

King blushed slightly. Thanks, mother.

However, Im still worried about you Annette.

Why?

Because you arent who you are, you are who you think you have to be.

What?

Liar! Rydia screamed, and for the next couple of moments all she could hear was the insane laughter coming from her evil counterpart.

Youre still pretending that you have some sort of conscious? That you actually want to save these animals? You are not the Mary fucking Sunshine of the universe. You are not the great messiah who will take all people to the promised land. What you ARE is a monster that was bred for destruction all of your life, and thats all you will ever be.

A part of Rydia shook with contentment with herself. Some of what he said was dangerously close to the things she thought about herself and about her life, which was dedicated to seeking vengeance. Deep down she knew this, but during the war with Zeromus she would pretend to herself it was for the people. For the world. For her mother.

It was really for the pain that Zeromus caused her. For all of the sleepless nights that she rolled around in her bed crying for the lost of her mother. For all the sorrow that she suffered as a result of losing her life.

She understood that now.

Well, at least there is a good side to this. Devil Rydia started again, slowly approaching the summoner with a gleam in his eyes. Were practically family now. So why dont you give your twin sister a hug, hmmm?

NO!!! Rydia screamed as she swatted the oncoming hug away and thrusted the ball of lighting into her doppelgangers face, causing her to fly into the front door of her house. I will not live my life like you anymore! Im going to fight to stop monsters like you from hurting othersand Ill fight as long as it takes to do that!

Devil Rydia walked out the house quite unhurt, and if anything her smile was brighter. Im hurt by lack of family values, Rydia.

What can I say? Ive been exposed to a lot of brother/sister rivalries. For the first time in a long time Rydia smiled.

Hmmph. So the hopeless struggle starts. the devil said as she dropped her smile, her eyes shining like blood red rubies. Too bad you dont have a choice, human. I will show you your destiny!!!

And all Rydia could see is darkness as the pain in her head reached the breaking point, threatening to split her brain into pieces. Before she knew it, she was on the ground surrounded by broken skeletons, with Shos laugher, her Aeons piercing roars, and her own screams ringing in her ears.

And then one figure appeared out of the darkness. Something she thought she would never see again.

“Fight…my child…”

Mama

Hey, this is new. Devil Rydia smiled reappeared as she heard Rydias whimpering. Im not used to you animals begging for your lives. It feels kindanice.

I WONT LOSE TO YOU!!!

And all of a sudden the area was surrounded by a green aura, generated by the angry summoner as she floated in the air, gathering energy unknown to her in her hand as the sheer force formed a small tornado of skeleton debris around her. Even the devil in front of her was losing her footing.

LET THE COSMIC RAYS OF THE SUN SHINE LIGHT UPON THE DARKNESS!!! MERTON!!!

Then everything turned red. Then black. Then blurry.

Just look at this. She said as she pointed to the younger version of her daughter. This isnt you!

This IS me! King yelled, confused by her mothers words a little. What are you talking about?

No its not! Remember your 5th birthday at the fair? With all your friends in France before we moved? King remembered that magical day, as she still had the picture her father took on the corner of her dresser in her room. You was so happy thenso full of life. And now

Now, what??

Now youre only a shell of your former self! Annette, you try so hard to keep from being hurt that youre even dressing up as a guy!! I mean whats with the suit anyway? And your hair!! Are you trying to get a valet parking job or something?

Mother!! Its my work uniform! King said, blushing. And Im not trying to protect myself! IIts just a way of getting immediate respect, thats all!

Oh please. You should know better than anyone that clothes do not make the manor woman. Its just a image, Annette. Its not who you really are. She rolled her eyes as paced around her daughter. Whens the last time you was really happy? Whens the last time you really smiled?

King didnt say anything.

Or let me ask you this. Her mother continued. Was I a strong person?

Of course! You are one of the strongest people I know!

Thats because I was strong enough to take the risk of getting my feelings hurt. She moved towards her daughter and hugged her. Listen, youve done so much in your life, and its fine that you needed to do the things you did to get where you are. But you deserve to be happy too, and you cant do that if you are scared to let your guard down.

Mother

Just say it. You know you want to.

King drew a deep breath and squeezed her mother, surprised when she realized a tear falling down on her cheek. Youre rightas always.

Good girl. She whispered and drew her daughter in tighter, tears somehow forming out of her ghostly body before she withdrew from the hug. Listen, I cant stay. Make sure you tell Jan that I love him, and for gods sakes tell that boy how you feel. I cant stand to see you fidget around him like that!

MOTHER!! King screamed as her whole body suddenly turned red from embarrassment. Me and Ryo arejust waiting for the right time, thats all

Sure. I love you, Annette.

Mother, one more thing. Hows father?

Hes just fine, busy as alwaysbut he wants you to know that hes proud of you, and not to drink so much. Bad habit.

Ill be strong enough to resist next time.

Good. And with that, she and the image of her kicking the tree had gone. King stood where she disappeared, taking in the slight scent of vanilla that was left in her place.

I love you, mother. She said, her smile turning to alarm when she heard a loud explosion from up ahead.

She woke up in the cave where she was several moments ago, and as she stood up the pain in her head was still there, still threatening to overtake her.

But there was something else. Something that hasnt been inside her for along time.

Hope. And the power that came with it.

She touched her forehead while reciting a small chant she use to practice as a child, saying it slowly to make sure she didnt mess up the words.

Heavens light, restore this body to its former purity. A small tear leaked from her eyes as she whispered the final word. Esuna.

Just like that, her headache stopped. The White Magic spell, which she hasnt been able to use ever since she started training for vengeance, worked flawlessly. Shos influence was gone, the Aeons inside her were back to normal, and for once, she could smile without having doubts or fear about who she was.

She had evolved. She was free.

She heard something approach her from up ahead, and prepared her whip for battle until she recognized the figure.

Hello, King. She said with a new maturity in her voice, as though she found another purpose for her life.

Hello, Rydia. She said, smiling as though she had been given the spirit to live a new life.

Ready to go home?

Yes, I am.

Let the sprits lead us to another plane. Warp.

And then the two disappeared, going forth to start their new lives.

Dry31 · November 30, 2003, 9:12am

A brief OOC - To all who participated in the tournament, I give you my apologies about taking so long with this. Thanks for a great tourney; it was a blast. For those of you who still care…here’s my ending.

Testament was momentarily taken aback by Mal’Ganis’ question; he stood in silence for a minute, weighing hia options. After a moment, he came to his answer. A faint hint of a sardonic smile appeared on his face as he spoke.

“…I’m afraid I will have to decline your offer, Desecrator. I shall leave your war with the Burning Legion to you and your ally; I have affairs of my own that I must attend to.”

Mal’Ganis did not seem surprised by Testament’s answer.

“I expected as much. I had rather hoped that you would aid me, but I cannot say I expected it.”

Testament nodded…and began to fade away. A moment before his form had totally faded, his voice echoed, seeming to come from everywhere at once…

“Farewell, Desecrator.”

And then he was gone.

Testament reappeared in front of the mouth of a cave; within it, he could sense a strange and somehow unsettling energy. Zio, perched on his shoulder in raven form, ruffled her feathers.

“This is the Cave of the Past…within, one can see the events of one’s past with crystalline clarity.”

Zio squawked.

“Why? To gain a sense of perspective, I suppose…to help one find their way. It’s as good a place to start as any…”

Zio squawked something else; Testament ignored her and stepped into the cave.

The little boy was sitting in the midst of a scene of utmost devastation. He had crawled out of the hole he had been hiding in to find his village like this…the buildings reduced to scorched ruins, the former inhabitants similarly reduced to mangled carcasses. He was the only survivor…he sat, looking dumbly out at the once lively town, seeing the images but not registering them, his mind turned inward to some dark corner, where it was safe. Dawn turned to morning, morning to day, day to high noon…and then, at last, something changed. A shadow had fallen over him…he looked up, his eyes not really registering the figure, or much of anything else.

“Captain Underson! A survivor!”

The boy’s head turned, almost mechanically, to look at the second figure that was now coming towards him. The figure, ‘Captain Underson’, knelt down to look at the boy, eye to eye. For several moments, he said nothing…and when he finally spoke, it was in a quiet, gentle voice.

“…don’t worry. You’re safe now.”

The boy simply sat there for another minute, his mind slowly processing the meaning of the words. And then he burst into a fit of screaming as the tears started to fall. And then…the decades flew.

The Crusaders’ Shrine, this place was called…the place where the Crusades, the war against the Gears and their infernal leader, Justice, had ended, five years ago. After Justice had been sealed away in the pocket dimension that was his prison, they had built a shrine over and around the site, a monument to preserve the names and memories of those who had given their very lives to win that victory, to give humanity a future.

I wonder…is my name here?

Testament shook his head, clearing away that thought. The name of Tesu Underson probably was somewhere in this monument; that was only right. Tesu Underson had died in the Crusades, had given his life for that victory just as surely as so many others had. But that was not his concern. He had long since lost the right to claim that name, since he had become a Gear. Seething anger filled him as he thought of what the Shuusen Kanrikyoku had done to him…

Those bastards…they deserve to die for their crimes. They make a mockery of the sacrifices made during the Crusades with their vile actions. They make a mockery of ME! I gave my life in the Crusades, yet they deny me even a peaceful death and force me return to life as that which I gave my life to fight - a Gear! I shall show them the price of their impudence! You see, father, I too am attempting to change this world, as you did…I too am attempting to expunge a great evil!

A faint unease might have stirred in him at that thought, but if it did, it was swiftly drowned beneath the tide of cold satisfaction and madness that roared in his mind.

And so…Justice shall be freed from its shackles, and humanity shall reap the rewards of its evil. Amen.

And then he started to laugh, an insane cackling that filled the night.

Testament staggered out of the cave, shaken by the vividness of the relived memories. Zio walked out of the cave a few moments later, blushed and giggling. Testament looked up at her and gave a faint smile.

“I needn’t even ask what you saw, Zio.”

Zio giggled some more, controlling herself enough to speak later.

“So, Testament-sama, what did you see?”

“…memories of solace and madness.”

Zio’s smile and giggles faded away with that cryptic response. She pondered it for a moment…but before she could ask, everything faded away…

They reappeared at the mouth of a second cave.

“The Cave of the Present. I really don’t see much point in coming here, but logic dictates that this should be our next stop. And I have nothing to lose by stopping to look.”

With a shrug, he stepped inside…

…into utter blackness.

For a moment, it was almost like being dead; utter blackness, complete silence. And then the silence was broken; from up ahead, a familiar voice rang out.

“Welcome.”

From somewhere up above, a dim shaft of light shone down, dimly illuminating the figure up ahead. Testament’s eyes widened.

“F-father?!”

The figure that so resembled Kliff Underson looked startled for a moment; then, slowly, he shook his head.

“No…I am not your father, though I may look like him to you.”

Testament frowned.

“Then who are you?”

“I am that part of you which embodies your morals. You see me in the guise of Kliff Underson because he was the one you respect as the greatest moral authority.”

Testament frowned for a moment; Kliff interpreted his confused silence correctly.

“This is your mind.”

Testament’s eyes widened; then, from the side, another voice spoke.

“That is the power of the Cave of the Present; those who enter into the cave are given the chance to see themselves in perfect clarity.”

Testament turned to face the new voice; another shaft of light had appeared, and within it stood Dizzy.

“Dizzy?”

“No; I am merely another aspect of you. I am that which embodies your kindness, your love. You see me as Dizzy because she is the one with whom you identify those.”

Dizzy fell silent, and Kliff spoke again.

“Within you, there are three main pieces vying for control. We are two of them; oft together we fight against the third, the outsider.”

Silence fell, as though they were waiting for something. After a moment, Testament spoke.

“Who…is the third?”

His answer was utter darkness. The columns of light in which Dizzy and Kliff had stood vanished; silence fell once again. For a long moment, there was nothing…then Testament was conscious of a sudden chill. A weird ambient light seemed to fill this black space, seeming to come from the darkness itself…and then the third stood there. Testament sneered with hate, and his scythe was in his hand. He knew that the one before him was not what it appeared to be, that this was merely a manifestation of something within his own subconscious…but that didn’t make the burning hate he felt any less intense. His voice filled with the hate he felt, he spoke the name of the form before him…

“Justice.”

The Gear leader turned to face Testament, those glowing eyes boring into his own. Testament spoke again, spitting the words at Justice.

“You…you must be my inner monster, then.”

“I am the resentment you feel towards those who betrayed you. I am also the Gear programming that was imposed upon you by the Shuusen Kanrikyoku…and I am also the programming imposed upon you by Justice’s will. Kill the humans for their sins, cleanse the universe of their despicable taint.”

He felt something wash over him; a compulsion, a burning desire to slaughter and destroy the humans…but then, a vision of Dizzy’s face floated before his eyes, and a moment later, a vision of Alma. The compulsion paled and faded, and something else took its place…righteous determination.

“No.”

“…why do you resist your desire? Why do you not punish the humans for their crimes? Why do you not fulfill your programming?”

“Because I cannot punish all for the crimes of a few. Because I like playing with the children. Because Dizzy wouldn’t like it. And because…because I don’t really want to. The programming you talk about compels me – it’s a baseless, irrational desire to slaughter that burns low in the back of my thoughts – and I still do have a deep distrust and dislike of them, but…I don’t really want any more violence. You - the programming - are the one that wants that.”

“No! I am a part of you!”

“I don’t think so…outsider.”

Testament stepped forward and swung his scythe. It cleaved through the Gear leader’s armor like a hot knife through butter. Justice howled; Testament felt a weird moment of disconnectedness, and then…Justice was gone.

Testament stepped out of the cave, blinking as his eyes adjusted to the light…and then slowly, he grinned. Zio was hovering in midair by the cave entrance, looking rather perplexed.

“You look a bit down, Zio.”

Zio blinked; from the tone in his voice, it sounded like he was trying to make a joke. But Testament almost NEVER made jokes…

“Testament-sama?”

The Gear shrugged noncommitally, and a moment later, they had faded away again.

They reappeared before the mouth of the last cave.

“The Cave of the Future…I wonder what truth abides within?”

“I think I’ll wait outside this time, Testament-sama. I’ve had enough truth for today…”

Shrugging, Testament stepped into the cave…

He was not at all prepared for what confonted him; it was not one future, but a chaotic, twisting web of them, an insane skein of timelines weaving in and out of each other in pure chaos.

“What…IS this madness?!”

His question recieved no answer; but then, he hadn’t really expected one, either. The timelines wove in and out of each other, splitting and merging and snaking in improbable directions like crazed snakes…or perhaps bolts of lightning would be a better analogy. Testament stood in the midst of the storm, catching shattered glimpses of futures as though looking through a nightmarish kaliedoscope. Struggling to catch the fragments of the future in his mind, he tried to gather them together, to make some sense out of it.

He stayed as long as he could stand to; then at last, he staggered out, back into the real world.

Zio was waiting for him.

“What did you see, Testament-sama?”

“Not as much as I had hoped…but enough for me to realize that some very serious happenings are about to occur in our world. Sol Badguy is in the center of it, along with Ky Kiske, That Man, the witch, the Shuusen Kanrikyoku…and Dizzy. But it’s close to the edge…close enough that with enough of a push, I can change the outcome. But if I hope to change it, I need to begin putting things in motion now.”

“…what is it you hope to change, Testament-sama?”

Testament’s voice was grave as he spoke.

“Nothing less than the fate of the world, Zio.”

Everything began to fade as they left behind this world and returned to their own; but just before this place faded away completely, Testament paused. A whisper rang out in the minds of those on the island…

Goodbye Alma and Elmdor and Shizumaru, and everyone else I fought with and fought alongside…even you, Desecrator, and even you, Shang Tsung. And goodbye to you too, Daisetsu and Jun and Kalton and Dorrin…I’m going home. No goodbyes for you, Officer, or you either, Immoral Flame; we will meet again. But I will always remember what happened here…and who can say, perhaps the fates will call us together again in the future. But for now, it is goodbye…the future awaits.

And then Testament and Zio faded away completely…